OK it's a very complecated situation so please only competent answers.I'm 18,my sister is 13.Our father is dead and our mother works in Spain since this August and she will be there until next Christmass when she will get back for a long time.I take the care of my sister and I run the 'family' with the money my mom sends us.She doesn't have the chance to come and see us,we only talk on the phone.My sister had sex with one guy and got pregnant.She cannot abort the child without mom's agreement.But mom is coming next Xmas and she doesn't know my sis is pregnant.We consider my sister will go through pregnancy and will give birth to the baby and then we will give it up for adoption.Our mom won't hear about that.Can a child be given up for adoption from his aunt(if the mother is young)?
2007-01-21 05:57:49 · 10 answers · asked by melanie 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
ask her what she wants to do. get her to tell your mum. she needs to learn from her mistakes. she needs to tell her by herself. dont baby her over this. make her realise that it is her mistake and not everyones elses. she has to make the decision herself and not u aor any one else. does she even want it? let her make up her mind. goodluck
2007-01-21 09:23:35 · answer #1 · answered by been there done that 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are unfortunately the adult in this situation. You need to think seriuosly about what you are doing and teaching your little sister.
First, just giving the baby up for adoption won't keep it a secret from your mom. Your sister will go through many emotional experiences due to the birth and the giving up of a child at such a young age. Your mother would surely be informed from the insurance company as to the hospital bills and doctor visits also.
Mom needs to be told.....no matter how hard it is.
Everyone makes mistakes. Your mom will be worried but, she will understand and will want to be there for both of you.
Secrets are never good for anyone. They may seem like the logical explaination now but, it will only cause more pain in the end.
Tell your mom. It will not be easy. It will probably be one of the hardest things you will ever do but tell mom. If you can't tell her at least write to her. You are her babies and she will want to know.
2007-01-21 06:07:14 · answer #2 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well since your taking care of her until Christmas you are her legal guardian, meaning with your consent she can get a abortion. If thats what she wants to do, have your mom right out something saying that your the guardian for the time and have her sign it. She should of already done this, because without this you cant take her to the doctors or anything like that. But your best bet is to tell your mom the truth. That way as a family you guys can figure out what to do. If in the end she does not get a abortion, it would be wise to still get the paper just incase you have to take her to the doctors.
2007-01-21 09:49:26 · answer #3 · answered by angel01182 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you have custody of your sister or not. That would be crucial. If you do then I imagine it is up to you. If not, then no. I would wonder why you would want to keep this information from your mother. Your sister is her daughter, not yours. Your mother would be so hurt if you didn't tell her and allow her to make the proper decision in what is in your sister's best interest. In saying that I also have to wonder what on earth would make your mother leave her children behind to pursue a life overseas and leave you with HER responsibility. Morally I think it's wrong to keep the information from her, but more so morally I think it is wrong for your mother to leave her unraised child and leave her in the hands of an 18 year old. At age 18 you should be going off to school or pursuing your life and you deserve this time. If you have taken this responsibility yourself voluntarily, and not had it thrust on you, I would say you need to make the decision yourself. You have the responsibility so therefore you must be given leave to make important decisions. All this really impresses me on the level of maturity you have reached by doing all this on your own. Sweet heart, you will be the reason your sister survives this and God bless you that you didn't take her to get an abortion. You have blessed my socks off that you have chosen the right choice for your sister. I wouldn't leave your mother out entirely, but I recognize the fact that you have had to make the sacrafices and take the responsibilities and have done precisely the right thing, even with the poor example set for you by your mother. Good for you and good luck.
2007-01-21 06:11:59 · answer #4 · answered by sheepinarowboat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have the baby, then give it up to any hospital, fire station, police dept. it's called safely surrendering the baby. It's a no questions asked procedure, she will not get in trouble. They will place the baby into a adoptive home of parents who are waiting and wanting a baby. The baby will be loved, and have a much better chance for success. That would be the right thing to do.
Good Luck
2007-01-22 21:43:35 · answer #5 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your sister should have considered the consequences of having sex before she spread her legs. If she is immoral enough to kill an innocent child for her own stupidity she shouldn't need her parent's signature. There is actually a huge debate over why it's okay for a 13 year old to go get an abortion, but has to have a parent's permission to get her ears pierced.
2007-01-21 06:08:33 · answer #6 · answered by FlyChicc420 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't believe that its possible unless you have custody of your sister (and are her legal guardian).
Your best course of action is to notify your mother. At 18 even as responsible as you obviously are, you should not have to make this choice effecting your life, your sisters life and most of all the child's life.
Please think carefully of the consequences if you do not notify your mother. I appreciate your assistance with raising your sister, but in this circumstance, her parent (mother) should be made aware of the situation in order to help. Do not make this choice on your own, please.
Best of Luck.
2007-01-21 06:04:14 · answer #7 · answered by thebe_gl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ok.. wow! 13 is very young.. no offense at all but maybe you should of had the "talk" with her.. let her have the baby.. and tell her to keep it.. yes she is SO young right now but she shouldnt ruin the babys life! when it gets older all it gonna wanna know is what did "I" do to make my mom get rid of me.. or it will want to find a way to meet her.. and if your mom ever knew im sure she would want to know she was a grandma and would really want to see it.. when your sis isnt around andyou have a chance to talk to your mom very calmly explain what happened, yes she will be very upset and dissapointed but she loves you and your sis and will want them to be happy, and when your mom asks to speak to her you can say she isnt there without lieing.. and your mom will have time to think about it so she will be calm when it comes time to talk to your sis.. if you have any further questons or if you or your sister need someone to talk to about it you can email me.. lovindrake88@yahoo.com
2007-01-21 06:13:37 · answer #8 · answered by elf 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it is a difficult concept, but you MUST tell your mom. It is the right thing to do. Your pregnant sister needs her mother now, even a mother who is neglectful. Maybe this will open your mom's eyes and show her she needs to raise her children instead of expecting them to raise themselves. Don't try to handle this yourself. Get your mom involved. Tell her.
2007-01-21 09:43:20 · answer #9 · answered by truthseeker221 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where do you live? If it is at all possible for you and your sister to get to California, it is legal here for a minor age thirteen and up to have an abortion without parental consent.
2007-01-21 06:04:03 · answer #10 · answered by Lachelle 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋