What am I to Do?

Question

I am 35 years old and I have nothing to show for it, I started drinking at a very early age and have been in and out of trouble since. I am very ashamed of my past, and as a result I have over the past 5 years stopped going out anywhere I am afraid of who I might meet, I do not remember a lot of my past and I can not defend myself against people when I really have no idea of what I did and when I do remember I just want to curl up and die, I was a total prat " could be called a lot worse". The thing is that I am a totaly different person now. I am no good with people I get pannic attacks and depressed I am afraid I am on my own for the rest of my life and I don't like it. I was a happy child.

Answer 1

Your life starts NOW!!!!

You done well being sober for 5 years and keep up the hard word!!!

What’s happened in the past is in the past.... You can try to make amends to the people you feel you have upset.... If you can not do this face to face write a letter explaining how you feel and how sorry you are.

With regard to the panic attack and depression keep a diary see if something is triggering these attacks. This could be just generally, such as the weather, living environment etc etc. Have you have professional counselling??? It is not as bad as it sounds.
Everyone is entitled to a second chance this included YOU!!!
Good luck if you want to chat email me…By the way, at the age 34 I started my BA degree and am now doing my MA it is never never too late.

Answer 2

listen,whatever u done in the past just try to let it go.are you using your shame as an excuse to drink?if ur serious about getting ur life back the drinking has to stop.it will be the hardest thing u'll ever have to do,but u know that.dont be afraid.aa is definatley a good start,u really can do it.every minute of every day that you dont have a drink is something to be proud of.only you can do this.and you will be surprised at the support you will get.dont worry too much about what u'v done in the past,if you meet someone and they say something to you,tell them your sorry but that u are trying hard to sort yourself.then let it go.be proud of yourself,hold your head up high.i wish you the best of luck,only you can do this.

Answer 3

You have already taken the first step by seeing the way you used to be and wanting to change. The panic attacks and depression I would seek help for starting with your GP.
You need to get out and once you feel more confident then try just going out down your local shop.
Anybody who means anything to you will see that you are trying to change and hopefully will support you. Nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes in life, and learn from them.
In time people will see the change and you can move on with your life.

Good luck

Jen
x

Answer 4

you have done the hardest part already by admitting that you had a problem and are changing for the better. It would be a good idea to find out about groups in your area that provide help and advice for you. Also once you start talking to someone about your problems and meeting other people in your situation it will be a big weight off of your mind, and maybe provide a new circle of friends for you. I wish you all the best and hope things get better for you.

Answer 5

Don't worry hun, we all make mistakes, u r not the only one. I say well done becuase you admit u have made mistakes & if you're really sorry from your heart which you are, God firgives you. Just be glad you haven't hurt others, (not on purpose anyways, not with bad intentions) & if these people don't know you had problems etc you can apologse to them, if you get a chance & say I was ill & I didn't know what I wa doin. if they don't have it in their heartsto forgive you, them forget about them....you've done your part & don't let guilt get you down.
there are people who go round ruining others lives, not only do they not admit that they have done wrong, they blame the other persons as well. I can see you're a very good person, are doing ur best to amned, & the past is over, it's all forgiven & forgotten. Everyday is a new start & you have every right to that. Honestly, love yourslef, you deserve it, you sound like an angel & don't worry what others say. I too have ruined someone's life & am so ashamed, don't know how to make amneds, but I keep praying to God for help amend the damage I've caused & to help me firgive myself.He hasn't let me down & He won't let you down either, becuase He loves us all equally.
I'm also no good with people but have learnt to live each day at a time & let go & let God. That will come in time, at the moment, concentrate on healing yourself & you can do it.
Don't worry so much about future, concentrate on now. You don't know what tomorrow brings! life is full of suprises.
Have you ever heard of healing? I had it & it helped me alot. The national federation of healers have centres around the country , it'll really help you, they simply place their hands on diferent energy points on body & transfer healing energy. It's very calming. This is link,(please type ur postcode to fnd nearest centre)
http://www.nfsh.org.uk/component/option,com_wrapper/Itemid,70/
(PS. they work on doantions only)
Also I can recommend this book, which has helped millions. Read it & do the exercises & affirmations regulraly & you'll really see a difference in your life.(see link)

For panick attacks, I tried crystal therpay & it really helped me. If you can get a crystal called SODALITE (Ebay has some) & place it on solar plexus (that's whwre I used to get mine) they'll b gone in a little while. (just remeber crystals absorb negative energy so you need to cleanse them by placing in brown rice for 24 hours, youcan eat the rice after).

Don't worry, you'll be fine, u r a good person & if others are mean, it's their problem.
lots of luvxxx

Answer 6

35 is still young. You have your whole life ahead of you. When people bring up the past, tell them that is water under the bridge and you have moved on. Just refuse to talk about it. Be proud that you have turned your life around and don't let anyone bring you down. Avoid negative people. Move if necessary. Talk to your Dr. about the panic attacks and depression. There are meds for that and there is no need to suffer. Make up your mind to live up to your potential.

Answer 7

From the information that you provided I would really get a psychiatric workup. Often people have crushing self-esteem problems and drinking problems due to an undiagnosed chemical disorder.
It is very common and absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, but it is important to treat it. I wish you the best. Jef

Answer 8

without sounding preachy but now is the time to turn things around.you know that you have done wrong or can guess you did so all you can do is try to make it up to the people you hurt the most.speak to your gp about the depression although they may say you have an addictive personality if you drank.just speak to either a help line or gp.

Answer 9

i am a 36 single mom and i have a drink problem too i lost my dad through drink and still i cannot stop
it is an addiction, and we must try and be stronge and seek help.
as for your past just try and forget it you were happy as a kid and you've made mistakes stop beating yourself up about it good look for the future hun.

Answer 10

You should move away from were you are currently liveing. That way when you move to a new place no one will know you therefore you can make something up, like say your life has been great. Thats what i would do anyway.