I love my boyfriend & respest his time with his friends. When home, things are good. We have no kids & we talk, watch TV, etc. I don't understand why almost everytime going out has to be alone with his guys or with us in a group. It's a struggle to get him out of the house if its something for us - a movie, out to club, to dinner, etc. If it happens, he calls others to come along without asking me. Once one of his guys call, he is out the door & that's any night of the week. & he has designated guys night on Thursdsay. At parties, he invites his friends,then holds up with them for hours in a spot leaving me alone. Doesn't matter whether its a party with people we know or strangers. I feel alone, neglected and slighted. Is my company not good enough outside of home? I feel like a mistress. His friends are cool. I have no issues with them. I have spoken to him & suggested 'Couples Night', etc. He has barely listened, gotten angry or gotten defensive. Am I overreacting? is this normal?
2007-01-21 05:50:09 · 7 answers · asked by Kima 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think he is any gay but its a valid question. And yes I got more 'out' time at the start and now its gone. Probably the old familiarity trap and I didn't put my foot done early. I thought a balance would develop especially since I actually like his friends. His friends are all 'committed' i.e. either married or in serious relationships and some have kids. We rarely do group events. Their women are probably stronger than I have been. I came out of a bad marriage where I held reins and I tried not to do that again. This is a different relationship but I feel I'm paying for that leniency. My boyfriend's sister chewed me out last night for allowing him some much time with the boys.
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2007-01-21 06:16:02 · update #1
Sounds like he enjoys single living. You need to put your foot down and say we need to have a date night once a week by ourselves. Tell him how you feel, and if he gets angry, that's his problem. You have needs to.
2007-01-21 05:55:27 · answer #1 · answered by flighty001100 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiance is the same way.
However, in the beginning stages of our relationship, he never acted this way.
When we first started dating, he made time for just us.
Now when I ask him why we never do anything he says: "We went about things all wrong in the beginning. I took you out too much and now you expect it from me all the time."
In my honest opinion, he let those "Hey man, you're p u s s y whipped" comments get to his head.
So let him spend time with his friends, just be sure you aren't the one sitting alone waiting for him to come home every night.
The other night I went out with my girlfriends and came home to my fiance waiting for me. The next day, he took me shopping.
Give him a taste of his own medicine, it will make him nervous and he'll do something to make up for his behavior.
Trust me, it works for me.
Good luck!
Feel free to contact me on Y!Messenger if you want to talk more. You're facing the same problems I am and I think we could help each other out.
2007-01-21 14:07:35 · answer #2 · answered by Desiree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No i don't think you are over reacting, it sounds as if when he spends time with you at home he feels he's spending time with YOU, however, he i feel needs to not be so selfish with spending time with you outside of the home, i think he needs to quit hanging out with friends so much, it kinda sounds like he is a little afraid to go out in public with you as far as a couple, maybe he wants others to think you aren't really serious? Who knows why some men act so childish, (i said some-not all). Fear of commiting, wanting to be with someone, but yet not. Maybe they think they will hang on to you till they see something, (they think) maybe better. Good luck hope things work out.
2007-01-21 14:07:30 · answer #3 · answered by sweetemtation_123 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no you are not overreacting. Is his friends married. if they are talk to their wives and plan an outing with them . If theyb are single, then get your friends and start going out, sometimes come later then him. It will put him in the place.
2007-01-21 13:58:02 · answer #4 · answered by Iqbal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he a little gay?
And when you two fell into love, you know, the beginning phase, did he also act like this? or he reserved all the nights for you?
2007-01-21 13:57:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
his taking it to far! you respect his time with friends and he should respect that you want time alone with just the 2 of you
2007-01-21 13:57:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wat a ********! I mean seriously. I would ditch him. Leave him with his "precious" friends. go find a guy who actually loves u and wants to spend time with u! There's plenty of fish in the sea hun!
2007-01-21 13:55:45 · answer #7 · answered by CurlsWithBrains 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋