My 3 year old has been doing alot of pushing and hitting. I have been told that this is going to go on with kids. But what are some good ideas on how to help them to get along. And what has worked for some of you? I am now doing time outs. This works for most of the time but not all the time. But it seems that I catch my self on top of my 3 year old for hitting or pushing his brother down all day. (not every day but enough for it to stand out to me.) any idea would be welcomed..
PLEASE HELP..
2007-01-21 05:31:45 · 10 answers · asked by mrs.mom 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
way2be= I do do time alone with each of them. I how ever havent ended that time with the two of us coming together to do some thing for my other boy. Thanks
2007-01-21 05:51:30 · update #1
badbadboy= I wouldnt ever hit him back. However I never thought about how we do play around and that he is learning some of this from ME :( This I can change.
Thanks
2007-01-21 05:53:01 · update #2
Time outs are a good start. You will need to be consistent and stay on top of the situation. Yes, it happens with siblings and will continue if it is not stopped. Nip it in the bud, explain this behavior is not allowed. No hitting, no pushing, period.
Encourage friendly and good behavior with praise and maybe special rewards for a "good day" such as reading him a book, going for a walk, anything he really enjoys and will give him positive attention for positive behavior.
If you accept it as "normal" you will have to deal with it regularly and it usually escalates.
Do yourself and your children a huge favor, make a rule early on that violence is not acceptable in your home and stick to it.
As a mom of 4 boys (now grown and on their own) I am glad we did that - because it worked!
Plus, it's much easier to deal with when they are small, rather than wait until they get bigger and stronger than you and have formed a habit of reacting to situations with violence.
Good luck, you sound like a great Mom.
2007-01-21 06:36:13 · answer #1 · answered by kaydee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having kids that fight all the time can be very difficult.I have 3 kids ages 11yrs,9yrs,and 20months. I have fights on a daily basis too.What I have found that works is to have the kids sit beside you on the couch and try to figure out what the fighting started over then explain that fighting is not the answer.Give the kids each an oppratunity to tell you what they think is the problem without the other interupting them.Then come up with a game that the kids have to play together. A memory game works very well,or even coloring a picture for you or a relative.
2007-01-21 05:43:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Spend some private time with your 3-year old. This is very typical for the age difference between the two children. During the private time give him undivided attention and at the end suggest the two of you do something special for the little one and have the 3-year old be in charge of that to empower him/her. Keep up the time-out and be consistent. Good luck!
2007-01-21 05:38:18 · answer #3 · answered by Way2Be 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You should take them to the park and play games with them. For instance you can play scavenger hunt or hide and seek. You can team up with the one year old or have your older son guide him (even though the one year old is very young and needs help, try not to play teams too much or the older son will get jealous. The one year old is young enough to where he won't feel left out and is happy to wonder off by himself for a little bit to explore.) This way your three year old is focused on hidding or finding the treasure instead of on his little brother. They won't need to share anything and since the park (or backyard if you have one) is neutral territory, your son won't have to claim dominance to let your one year old know that he's in charge. Your older son will start having fun with his little brother because he's working with him and his attitude will change toward him.
2007-01-21 05:50:37 · answer #4 · answered by lilacdelight 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a child that age has a hard time understanding empathy, the three year old, he things its funny when they baby falls, because he doesnt understand that his actions are causing pain.
this is such a terrible thing to do, but sometimes its the only thing that works, is to show them how their actions hurt, not just explain it. My girlfriends 4 year liked to bite, and he just couldn't get it that biting hurts...so, I bit him back, left a mark, didn't bruise the skin or anything....I felt so bad doing it, but now he understands that biting really hurts other people.
The 5 year old had a nerf gun, and we would shoot it at one another for fun, but he liked to get right in your face and shoot you, from 1 foot away it hurt...
I warned him a couple times about this, and I could either just take the gun away, or, I felt I could teach him to behave responsibly. One day he ran up to me with it, pointed it at my head and I told him "don't shoot me from this close" and he thought about it, and did it anyway...you could see him contemplating it...
so, I sent him for a time out, and I thought for like 10 minutes what to do...I was frustrated, because it hurt. Finally, I just decided to show him it hurt, so I came to him and shot him in the face up close with it. He cried...it wasn't a bb gun or anything really bad, but he then understood that it really does hurt....
I think part of the problem is the way we play with our kids, we wrestle an let them knock us down, let them play beat us up, so they learn that this action is a lot of fun, and he thinks it's really not harmful to the baby.
One of the easiest thing to do as a parent it to take things away, the hardest is to teach boundaries, I think teaching him that these things hurt will go a long way to preventing him from hurting your baby....I still can't believe I'm telling anyone that I've done this, but it works.
Oh, and I heard it on a radio show on parenting first...if it's any consolation....
2007-01-21 05:45:45 · answer #5 · answered by badbadboy6979 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats all through growing up! I believe you should keep up with the timeout and give them something to do together.
Hope that helps!
2007-01-21 05:47:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
give them toys that can be put together give each of them half of it so they need to come together
2007-01-21 05:37:54 · answer #7 · answered by aidan l 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give thyem somthing to do together that they have to shair
2007-01-21 05:35:47 · answer #8 · answered by klinbogdan 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well you can put him in time out but, before you do that, let whoever he hit hit him back!
Some day he will get tired of time outs and getting hit.
2007-01-21 05:44:02 · answer #9 · answered by D-mo 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
THATS ALL IN GROWING UP
2007-01-21 05:37:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋