We have spent over $5000 to get custody. The court does not care about the fact that this loser STILL does crack. She just got arrested for possession last year and currently is off of work because she is now out there again on a binge again. The child is 15 and covers for his mother.
Our lawyer told us that it is basically a waste of money to do anything about it b/c the child does not want ot come live with us.
Does the courts really believe that a 15 year old really knows what is best? Even though he has been around a drug-infested environment?
Messed up situation! We try and talk to him, but he is brainwashed to believe that if he comes with us, he will lose his freedom (basically the kid takes care of himself b/c the mother is never around) The child now lives with the grandparents...from what we hear but get this-the grandmother is an alcoholic and the grandfather scams insurance comapnies to make money.
We are seriously worried.
Any advice people? Thanks..
2007-01-21 05:00:08 · 7 answers · asked by the agent 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
his MOTHER is a crack addict...Sorry for the confusion!
2007-01-21 06:06:20 · update #1
It's difficult to make suggestions as an answer would require the details that come from walking in your shoes. It's not clear from your question of whether child protective services has been involved but if not, I would think that is the best avenue.
2007-01-21 05:17:13 · answer #1 · answered by huskie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know .. this is going to be difficult, but you have ALREADY OFFERED your help to the child of this mother (who has the addiction process) and he has REFUSED to take your offer to get into your home (and I am glad to hear that you want to help someone get a stable life away from addictions).
The 15 yr old (with no push from any organization to find a custodial parent any different than his direct blood relations (mother/grandparents) is going to be able to stay there ... and yes, at 15 yrs of age, they DO have the ability to CHOOSE where they want to live.
I would continue to offer to LISTEN to him, maybe purchase a meal every so often to him, and leave it up to him what he wants to do ... and yes, if he should decide in the next month, week, or year to finally break free of that situation (and live in a responsible household with RULES, goals, and Expectations), then he can.
YOU have done what you can. Yes, the court can be impersonal and cruel .. but that is what it is (and no one can change that).
2007-01-21 05:18:17 · answer #2 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what else can you do? perhaps speak with a drug counselor who has experienced in crack addicted teenagers in a dysfunctional environment.
they can tell you how to proceed and cope.
as others stated you cannot make a 15 live with you.
besides the kid is correct he will lose his freedom since now he takes care of himself right?
the only other thing I can think of is again as someone suggested repeatedly let the kid know when he sincerely wants to change his life you are there for him.
but truly you need guidance from a expert as to how to protect yourself from the dysfunctional folks around him even as you try to help.
a substance abuser is rarely speaking rationally.
lastly pray, chant, visualize each day the outcome you want for your entire family.
nam myoho renge kyo.
2007-01-21 05:34:06 · answer #3 · answered by creole lady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your lawyer is right, at 15 the kids can say where he wants to be. So get a kid of your own to raise, you can tell the kid that you are there for him if he ever needs you, but save your money. the kid is probably a lost cause by now.
2007-01-21 05:19:21 · answer #4 · answered by picture 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt the courts will 'make' this child come live with you because he is not an adult BUT old enough to say I want to stay with my grandparents..if you place him in your home and he has these freedom ideas...you can believe he will cause nothing but Chaos in your home. Unless the courts deem the grandparents unsuitable....its a wrap!
2007-01-21 05:17:42 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be seriously concerned that the boy may be getting into the same stuff she does. Call the child welfare people that child should be taken away from her.
2007-01-21 14:15:48 · answer #6 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
damn this family has hella problems. i feel bad fur this kid. get him out of the sit. or he might end up doin something bAd 2.
best of luck. my wishes to you.
2007-01-21 05:17:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋