what is worse, a firm handshake that hurts or a lousy (weak)handshake?

Question

do u think it says smt about someone´s personality???

with lousy I mean limp, I hate those ...

Answer 1

the odor of urine,..is definitely worse.

Answer 2

I prefer the firm handshake, but I'm pretty hard to hurt with a handshake.

A weak handshake could just mean the person is not comfortable shaking hands. I had to get comfortable with it because of work, but wasn't always. Some people just don't come into situations where they have to practice handshakes.

It can also be a cultural thing, some cultures don't shake hands, again, it's a matter of practice. Teach your kids and your friends how to shake hands properly, a small step toward a better world!

Answer 3

A handshake can mean oh so many things.

If I had to choose, I'd prefer the weak one, but that's just because I don't attach much to it and am not into useless pain. I just don't give a crap - to me there are more important things than a firm handshake.

However, a story:

My two roommates threw a party years back - invited friends and as the word always spreads, friends invite more friends, etc.,... that's one way to meet new people.

So a new person shows up football player for the university who was all high on his superiority. Walks in "wheres the beer" literally bumping into people half his size, forcing them into walls and whatnot. My roommates and I were huddled within a minute or two, concocting a plan of action while another close friend from high school walked up and introduced himself.

He offered his hand and said "Say, I'm _____ what's your name?"

My friend (big guy, but half this dudes size) had already started to squeeze and the ball player responded in kind. At that point the duel is one. My friend just kept casually conversing, siping his beer, not a care in the world. The ball player was wincing and turning red.

After about 5 minutes or so of this he just let go and said "Well, it was great to meet you and it was nice you could stop by for a few minutes. Have a great night."

The ball player just turned and walked out.

All depends on context.

Answer 4

Interesting.

I actually use this as an exercise in my Aikido classes.

A handshake is a greeting, an acknowledgement of the other person. One hopes it will be a friendly acknowledgement.

Yes, well...

I couldn't really say "better or worse" for these, but they definitely tell me something about the other person's attitude toward me.

A firm, confident, friendly handshake expresses a sincere interest in the other person. An agreement to be cordial, at least. Of course people can fake it (though not as well as they sometimes think) but by faking cordialness they necessarily engage in the forms of cordialness. So, on some level, it's all the same to me.

A weak, "dead fish" handshake indicates they are avoiding contact in some way. They'll shake your hand, but only because form demands it. There can be all kinds of reasons for this ranging from fear to disdain, but it bothers me regardless. If it's fear, why are they afraid of me when I've done nothing to threaten them? If it's disdain, who are they to treat another human being - me or anyone else - with such a lack of respect?

Sometimes, of course, it's just that they don't understand the significance of a handshake in our culture. Which is why this lesson is part of my Aikido classes. One of the best ways to resolve a conflict is to not have the conflict in the first place. So don't offend people if you don't have to.

The firm handshake that hurts is usually a dominance game. Kind of "I can exert power over you". Sometimes, honestly, it's a case of someone who is unaware of the strength in their own hands, but usually it's about being a bully.

Even if it *is* someone whose hands are stronger than they realize, its kind of on them to learn about this. When people grimace and go out of their way not to shake your hand, it's a clue.

So, on some level I suppose you could say that the too firm handshake is worse, but it really does depend on who you're shaking hands with. The too firm handshake is more likely to have malice behind it, but even there it isn't always true.

Answer 5

I do believe it says something about a personality and I do not like to be hurt when someone is shaking my hand but I also do not like a weak indiffernt handshake so which is worse well I am not a fan of getting hurt so I guess that would be worse

Answer 6

That is going to depend on the situation. A bone-crusher is less of a faux-pas when doing business with men but it will cause a subtle desire to compete with you. A wimpy handshake is the lesser evil in a relaxed social meeting with a woman. I am a woman of very short stature and people seem to be unable to reasonably gauge the proper firmness, either they crush my hand trying not to be patronizing or they completely wimp out trying not to crush my hand. I thought it was me until I got into college and competed in speech and debate. The master minglers were always able to shake my hand normally.

Answer 7

Yes, it definitely says something about a personality. it is always suggested that a firm handshake speaks well of the person, but when that handshake is too strong or too weak, it indicates something different

Answer 8

handshakes are culturally bound for one thing; many people prefer not to shake hands. I know Americans usually appreciate a firm (not overly firm) handshake so I usually oblige them.

I don't think you can read personality from handshakes; that would fall in the same pseudo-science category as Phrenology ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frenology )

Answer 9

People that initiate handshakes are usually those that give a firm one. I honestly get a little offended if a someone returns my handshake with a weak, flimsy response.

Answer 10

Firm...it shows that you are confident about the way you carry yourself. Even though it may hurt, it still shows something strong about you. When I personally receive a weak handshake, I receive an extremely bad vibe from that person.

Answer 11

the worst is someone who gives a deathgrip handshake but grabs your fingers and not your whole hand, so you can't squeeze back....

I think a painful handshake shows someone who has a little bit of lack of self esteem and is trying to impress you, but a weak handshake is just someone who is either weak, or distracted (I'm a big 6' martial artist/weight lifter) but sometimes, lol, I'm just not paying attention and get a bad grip and shake hands like a 5 year old girl....