I talked to my mom and I think I am so ready to leave my mentally abusive, controlling, free loading boyfriend. I've been with him for over two years, but I think I am ready now.
HOW DO I KEEP THIS FEELING??? I DON'T WANT TO LOSE IT OR LET HIM SWEET TALK ME BACK INTO STAYING AGAIN!! THIS IS IT!!!
Please help me with some tips to keeping my strength.
2007-01-21 04:44:48 · 11 answers · asked by chanteuse87 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why leave? With no backbone you are just going to keep repeating your mistakes. At least with your current boyfriend you know what you are getting.
Do you deserve better? Of course you do. However, if you need to come to some public forum and whine and cry and look for sympathy... you are part of the problem too. It isn't just your boyfriend,who by the way, sounds like a real catch.
You need to ask yourself what you are worth? Who cares what your mother thinks, or what random strangers think...WHAT DO YOU THINK? I suggest you take an honest assessment of yourself. You need to be happy with yourself before you will ever be happy in a relationship.
If what you are saying is true, and believe me I do believe you,
there is no need to ask for advice here. YOU must decide if you want to trampled on for the rest of life or not. Do you?
I will never understand why people who so obviously deserve better stay in relationships just for the sake of being in a relationship. Trust me another one will come along. But, if you don't fix your self-esteem/respect problem nobody else is going to treat you better than you do yourself. Seriously, if you don't respect yourself how can you expect somebody else to respect you? It just doesn't happen.
Do yourself a favor and take some time off from relationships until you are ready to demand better from a partner. You may not like my tone...but you will like the results.
trust me, the People who care about you want to tell you the same things... they just don't want to sound mean.
good luck...
2007-01-21 05:01:30 · answer #1 · answered by detroit al 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1. Remember all the bad times. This is the most effective thing you can do. Write down all the things he has done. Keep them strong in your mind when you confront him
2. Tell a friend when you're going to go break up with him, and have her call you an hour later. Tell her that you need her to hold you accountable, to remind you not to back down if you've been starting to change your mind.
3. Break it off somewhere other than his or your apartment. A restuarant is best. It allows you to say what you need to, and leave with a little dignity. And, if you really want to make your point, leave him with the check.
Stay strong, you can do it! And you'll be glad you did. You will respect yourself a lot more when you learn to say when enough is enough.
2007-01-21 12:51:25 · answer #2 · answered by arwens_curse 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my god, I know just the guy you mean.... Seriously, that's excellent - if you're feeling this strong now, then you should be fine. It sounds like you really haven't been happy so congratulations on getting out of there.
I know everyone says that you shouldn't do it over the phone, but I think it's better than either your place or his in case he wants to fight about it. You can just leave someone in a cafe but it's harder to throw them out of your house! Neutral territory and face to face is best of all, though.
Talk to friends if you can trust them to be discreet and your mom so they all know that you're planning to leave him - it makes it much easier if you can just go straight round to a friend's house and go "I finally did it!".
Be prepared to buy a caller id thing or change your number! I had to do this after I dumped a guy six times in a few days. We didn't get back together or anything - he just kept calling back and claiming not to remember what had happened in the last conversation. When I said "well, we split up" he'd go "WHAAAAT? WE SPLIT UP?!?!?" and start howling like a wolf. Hmm. He was pretty crazy. In the end I just had to go "look, it's over, I'm sorry you're upset but I won't be taking your calls anymore". It wasn't easy but making sure all my friends were aware of the situation made it much easier.
Psychologically, January is a nice time for this to happen too. New start and all that.
2007-01-21 12:50:53 · answer #3 · answered by amazingtessa 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Good for you! Thank God you only wasted 2 years with a mentally abusive, controlling, freeloading boyfriend, and not 10 years! It sounds like your self-esteem is on the rise. Keep on building your self-esteem and you'll way outgrow this self-centered jerk. He will be forced to find someone else with low self-esteem that he can control, abuse, and freeload off of. By then you'll be on to healthier relationships.
2007-01-21 12:53:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm all for helping people like you.
Try remembering the one most terrible thing he's done to you in your mind and keep it there. Think of it many times a day, think of it when you're having a good time, remember it all the time and when it comes to your confrontation with him, it will be the one main thing in your mind. Every time has says something (no matter what it is) remember. If he says he loves you, remember. If he scratches his nose, remember.
If you can remember it all the time, he won't talk you into anything. Even remember if he asks you a question,
REMEMBER!
2007-01-21 12:55:33 · answer #5 · answered by Kevin A 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hello babe. Now cheer up.
For me. I left him a mail at his letterbox explaining my every reason for ending the relationship, and how much I'd loved him the whole time too. But how much I'd been hurt and how the love simply dissolved eventually. I ended the letter with capitals of, 'Don't ever look me up.'
2007-01-21 12:51:47 · answer #6 · answered by icerux23 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
.if you let yourself be sweet talked then that means he's got you wiped just how he wants you to be. if he can't appreciate what he's got then he doesn't deserve you. I'm sure you can find a sweet guy better than him and he was sure lucky enough to find some1 who put up with his sh*t 4 so long
hope you find some1 who really deserves you.
2007-01-21 12:52:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to keep reminding yourself of what he did. if he tries to get you back remember the things he did and how great it would be to see some one that you feel great with........good luck
2007-01-21 12:49:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay positive. you will find someone else that will appreciate you. stick to your word. be strong and leave him. you are ready and you will not regret it.
2007-01-21 12:47:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well just tell him that it is over,than call me up
2007-01-21 12:48:44 · answer #10 · answered by bp t 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋