My long-distance boyfriend of 3 years told me last night that he's fed up to come home always to an empty flat alone and that he was wishing I was there. I thought it's sweet and told him that I miss him too,that it'd be nice if we could organise a meeting. We see each other about once a month. This morning he sent me a text that he didn't say it to be sweet and that he's fed up of having a girlfriend who's far and that it's been too long like this and he doesnt want to continue like this. I told him that I understand him but what does he want to do? He said we really need to think about it and he said not to expect always a solution from him, I also need to do something. He was looking for a job near me but could not find one. I started to be scared and asked him if he wants to end it. He got upset and told me that I always take everything as a threat instead of trying to find a solution with him and that he doesn't like that. He said to stop worry like that. We'll talk tonight.
2007-01-21 04:42:43 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He has tried to move near to you. My advice is, that he would now like you to try to find a solution where you could move near to him or even live with him and find a job near there. Hes right, you shouldnt leave him to make all the decisions and decide what will happen. Take a leap of faith and do it yourself or he made end up tired of making all the effort and then it weill be the end.
Good Luck hun xxx
2007-01-21 04:47:47 · answer #1 · answered by Kelly D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A friend of mine was in a similar situation. She and her boyfriend broke up because of the distance. You have to question your priorities - it might be a case of find a way to be together or end it. Harsh maybe but true.
It doesn't sound like he wants to end it, it sounds like not having you there is driving him mad. This is good in that it means he really does care about and and love you a lot, but bad in that he might prefer not to have you at all than only half have you... if that makes sense? Either way it might be a choice between seeing each other more often or ending it.
I hope the talk tonight goes well and that you figure out a solution to fit both of you. Good luck!
2007-01-21 05:17:57 · answer #2 · answered by Lyra B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he tried to move near you and he couldn't get a job. Is there any possibility that ou could get a job where he lives? Unless you have got anything to stop you. That may be the solution. But he might want you to suggest it, I dont know what your circumstances are but perhaps he is trying not to put too much pressure on you adn wants you to ask?
I dont think he is seeing someone else because what would be the point in talking about it? Surely he would say that it was over - there would really be much else to say would there?
Just calm down a little and stop thinking the worst. Get yourselves together and be happy! Good luck!
2007-01-21 05:45:34 · answer #3 · answered by peachy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like he want to end the relationship.
Are you happy with the distance? If you are, how much do you like the guy?
If you are not hppy with the distance, why not suggest he looks for a job near you, you look for one near him and whoever gets one first moves there.
Depending on your commitments, if you can't or won't move to be together, you don't have a future anyway.
2007-01-21 06:39:14 · answer #4 · answered by catherine e 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's looked for work in your vicinity... have you looked for work in his area? how about both of you picking up and moving someplace together? Sounds to me like he's the one trying to make compromises while you sit in your tower waiting for him to come up with a solution... well Rapunsel... let down your hair... roll up your sleeves and get IT together or it could BE your last conversation... There isn't any need to be anxious about this... it's been coming for quite some time... be relaxed and calm... obviously you are happy with the arrangement... he's not... find out why your happy with it... and if you have commitment issues maybe you need to address them? either way... as a friendly tip... Don't ask "why"... "why" questions are about as helpful as using a tea spoon to dig a hole to China. and they only raise more questions. He wants you to become a participant... so participate.
Good luck
2007-01-21 04:56:12 · answer #5 · answered by alex b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is going to ask you to marry him so you can be together all the time. I don't get the impression he wants to end it. Maybe he wants you to move in with him and find a job where he lives(if that is a possibility) Good Luck!!
2007-01-21 04:47:45 · answer #6 · answered by Stuck in the middle of nowhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont get upset,just take it easy ask him straight out how does he feel about the whole relationship.after 3 years if things arent progressing i recommend to really have a good look at things for the two of ye.
2007-01-21 04:58:55 · answer #7 · answered by Cornelius 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's time to stop walking on eggshells where this guy is concerned. he seems to obviously take everything you say and twist it around to make it look bad on you and that you're too clingy or whatever. Do you really need this kind of aggravation? And it also sounds like he's found someone else closer.
2007-01-21 04:47:24 · answer #8 · answered by Serendipity 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
U will talk tonight. whatever is going to happen will happen, you can do anything about it. If he wants to end it, stay cool and say "whatever you want..." don't start crying or anything. Just stay cool about it. He is just insecure right now...he will change his mind if he actually likes you.
2007-01-21 04:47:56 · answer #9 · answered by Mafia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is lost right now, just take it slow and let him make his decisions, I have a feeling he wants to be on his own for now.
2007-01-21 04:48:40 · answer #10 · answered by Nort 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋