Live in boyfriend calls his ex while I'm not around?

Question

I've been dating "J" for 4 months, living with him for 3 of those 4. Before he lived with me he lived with another girl named "A". They had a relationship on and off throughout the 13 years they've known eachother. He even has a tattoo on his ring finger as she does also. Although they were never married. "J" and "A" still talk to eachother on the phone when I'm not around. I told "J" two months ago that I want to be around when he talks to her next. There should be no reason for him not to talk to her in front of me right? Well, apparently he is still talking with her. They contact eachother about once a week. It's always when I'm not around. I snooped and looked through his phone bill today. Seems he can't go 4 days wilthout calling. Do I tell him I snooped? How do I deal with this. I know he loves me, .... I'm just tired of it.

Answer 1

Why would you move in with your boyfriend after only dating for one month? How could you possibly expect that one month--now four--can compare to 13 years? Foolish.

That doesn't mean he should hide his phone conversations with the ex. 13 years is a lot of history -- but WHAT are they talking about. If they are really just friends then he should be able to talk with you in the room. But, he's hiding something from you.

Tell him you know for a fact that he still talks to the ex. You told him not to talk to her without you present. (Most girls would say don't talk to the ex at all. You were trying to be cool.) The thing is you didn't give him any consequences... Be clear this time. If he talks to the ex without you around what happens? (you leave? no sex? you post another question?) And be prepared to act on it.

Answer 2

You've been with him for four months while he's known ex for thirteen years? You need to realize that she is still very much a part of him and she is, in a way, living with the two of you. Sounds like you are a rebound for him and she isn't just going to move on and leave him alone. He needs to move on also, but after so many years with her he can't seem to shake loose from her. On and off with her for so long shows you this.
You're correct. There is no reason for him to still be in contact with her, whether you are around or not. But he still is talking to her and he's doing it behind your back.This relationship is far from over between the two of them and chances are she is trying to get him back. Question is how tired are you and how much longer are you going to put up with this before you decide you've had enough and decide to do something about it? Can you face the fact that they will never be over each other for good? Or maybe this isn't going to work out between you two and you deserve someone who can be there for you, and you alone?

Answer 3

you're able to desire to think of approximately seeing a counselor, as you're way too in touch together with his previous & his telephone record. Why are sneaking peeks at his telephone log? Why do care if his x calls him at artwork? start up spending greater time thinking approximately that, and artwork at putting your jealousy aside, and you're transforming into a a lot matter danger of having an enduring relationship. save up the way you're going now, and you will chase him away with all this petty stuff. that they had young babies jointly, they are going to talk to one yet another, and at situations they could desire to work out one yet another. in case you won't be able to cope with that, you're able to could desire to discover a bf who would not have a prior.

Answer 4

Honestly it sounds as though he is not over her. There is lack of respect to you by him still calling her that much. A 13 year relationship doesn't end overnight and the feelings could linger for a couple years weather they were married or not. It sounds like you are a rebound G/F and believe me I am not saying that to be mean, he may have feelings for you but he clearly still has feelings for his ex as well. If he is calling her that often when you aren't around who is to say he isn't seeing her when your not around?

Answer 5

well if he cant go four days without talking to her apprently he still loves her or he's close friends.Tell him that u feel uncofortable that he is calling her so much!!!tell him that he needs to talk to her when ur around and if he dont like it then tell him that ur move on to some other guy.u don't really have to move to a diffrent guy just bluff and say that!!!but either way he's still going to talk to her when ur not around!!! I would buy some kind of voice recorder and put it on the phone when he calls her!!!don't tell him that u know.then listen to what they got to say.GOOD LUCK i hope this works and if u dont know where to buy one ask ur friends.

Answer 6

Wake up!! You are officially a Sucker right now. Just keep staying in it, because you can't get the clue. I don't mean to sound rude but I can't stand for people to ignore the obvious. It is so stupid. If you seen them doing it you would probably put I think they might of done it, what should I do. It just eats my brain.

Answer 7

Since they are 13 years together they have feelings themselves
its not easy to forget a person after knewing her for a long time.
He doesnot want to make you feel uncomfortable, thats why he is talking alone.

Answer 8

if you trust him then that's fine that you just want to be there but aren't actively trying to stop them from talking. if he wants to talk to her he will whether you know it or not. for the time being, i would let it go, it's not that serious yet, but don't tell him about the phone until it is absolutely necessary.

Answer 9

I would put my foot down. He shouldnt b callin his ex if u and him r together. Put ur foot down b4 he is doin more than just callin. Cut him off now.

Answer 10

5 letters, LOSER. No worse blind person than the blind person that does not want to see. Love has skewed your vision.