I am really stressed.
I am really confused by myy boyfriend of 2 years. Let me start off by saying that he is unemployed and is not even trying to look for a job (we live together, have 2 cars, etc), so I've recently picked up a second job to help pay the bills. The 2nd job requires me going to customer's homes and showing merchandise. He is telling me that he will not let me have my good car and is trying to prevent me from going to one of my appts because he thinks I am cheating on him (which is ridiculous). So it is also snowing here. One of my cars is 16 years old with a 4 cyl engine and bald tires... he made me drive that to work... in the snow. The other car is a 2002 with traction control and good tires.. I asked for it since it is technically mine anyway. He says he "needs" it and won't let me have it.. for what? He doesn't work? He wouldn't let me have my own cell phone either. What should I do about this? He is really stressing me out. What should I do? Please help
2007-01-21 03:13:31 · 29 answers · asked by chanteuse87 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
PS... many of you ask how he can make me do something. The answer is with physical force. He is much stronger than me. Believe me I tried with all my might to get my keys and I couldn't.
2007-01-21 03:22:42 · update #1
I could go into a very long thing over this but the bottom line is either get counseling or dump him. He sounds very controlling and there is no good outcome when that is concerned. Id say call me but you cant have a phone :-)
2007-01-21 03:20:42 · answer #1 · answered by darin s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What!?!?
Fair dinkum, you wanna leave his a$$ NOW! I've seen it happen a hundred times before. I totally sympathise with you, but you need to realise that he isn't going to change and YOU need to force the issue. And if he is using force to stop you doing what you want, that should be the final nail in the coffin on this 'realtionship'. He sounds like a complete pr!ck. DO NOT LET YOURSELF BE USED. Sure, you love him. But wake up and smell the coffee. He doesnt really love you, he doesn't respect you, and if you let him walk all over you now, he will be doing it all your life. Either seek realtionship counselling or get out now. Also, my advice would be to go to a course dealing with being assertive. As long as he is getting a free ride, he's happy - and that is not love. Seriously, get any brothers, male friends etc together and sort him out. He is the lowest of the low. But once you make a break make it total - don't let him sweet talk his way back.
2007-01-21 03:38:17 · answer #2 · answered by perthboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why you are letting him use You? I know a lot of men in my community that do not work and looking for hard working women like you to take care ot them. He does not work then what does he do with his free time. He takes the better car and let you drive the hooptie. He likes to look good but does not work. I am pretty sure he is picking up women with all this spare time. I hear them talk sometimes as they think they are the best thing that could ever happen to the women who are taking care of them. They called them desperate, that they could not find better. Some even take money from their girlfriends to take care of a girlfriend that they actually love. Stop letting this man manipulate you. you deserve better. You do not need him. Give him an ultimatum. Either he finds himself a job or he has to go. I know women , when we are in love , we tend to be blind. But in that case you are making your life miserable as you are putting too much stress on your life. You better off alone until you find somebody who would partner with you and work towards your goals together. take care.
2007-01-21 03:40:35 · answer #3 · answered by lovelyeyes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should talk to him and see why he is doing this.
If he think you are cheating on him then take him to work with you and show him that you are not and keep showing him till he belives you. If he still dose not believe you then sit him down and talk and if all else fails then leave him or get a new job or make him get a job and make him help pay for the bills. You should not feel over stressed out and he has not right to tell you what you can or can't drive. if it is your car then drive it don't do every thing he says to you make him lisen to you. an one more thing never give up on what you stat on once you start something finish it.
2007-01-21 03:25:00 · answer #4 · answered by kagomegirl_10 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you let your boyfriend walk all over you and treat you like door matte? I am sure you know that if he does not change the only sane thing to do is to leave him. Tell him right know that you will not accept being treated like this for another minute and if he won´t listen there is not anything to build on. A relationship means sharing and giving , loving and respecting each other and in my opinion he is not doing any of that. Good luck to you, you deserve so much better than this!
2007-01-21 03:22:34 · answer #5 · answered by Eileen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your man is a lazy azz. He is going to ruin your life. Kick his azz to the curb today. Make him leave with out any car, unless he can pay you for it with cash as he is walking out the door. You are on your way to being abused mentally and maybe physically in the future, and a very unhappy life. If you stay with him you are an idiot. (Not to be mean.) Take off the "SUCKER" sticker on your forehead and be smart. Move to a place that you can afford working one place and sell the old car and have a great life to come. AND....do not listen to any of the bullsh*it that will fly from his mouth, like the begging, threats, and all that. He might be cheating on you right now, while you are working your azz off he is out in your good car f'ing whoever. Get a clue please!!!!!!
2007-01-21 03:25:40 · answer #6 · answered by Melissa M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you wasting time supporting a deadbeat? It's your choice, but since you are choosing it you have no right to complain that you have to work 2 jobs to pay bills.
Who owns the vehicles? If any are yours, he cannot legally stop you from driving them. If they are his, then he can say who gets to drive. If neither are his then you can stop him driving either.
As for the cell phone, I assume you are an adult so get one if you want. He can't "stop" you...you simply choose to let him run your life.
If you want to be happy, grow up and take control of your own life. Otherwise, live with the choices you've made.
2007-01-21 03:20:07 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all pity parties are OK, when my wife died had a few.
Now, regarding this so called b/f. He is a lazy *** control freak. Kick his butt out and find someone that will love and respect you. You are a meal ticket for this lazy slob. So long as you allow him to control you and what you do, things will only get worse for you. he doesn't care about you if he did , first he would get off his butt and get a job to help out, then he would get you a better safer car to get to work.
leave , run get away from this guy, he does NOT care about you.
2007-01-21 03:22:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boot the lame out the door. You deserve much better. He sounds like a total control freak, which he should back off as you said he not working. As far as the physical strength part, if he gets physical theres your way to get him out, call the sheriff have him removed and next morning (yes i know you have to take time away from work) go get restraining order. Best of luck to you and all of us guys aren't like this loser.
2007-01-21 03:32:30 · answer #9 · answered by haarleyman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The real question should be "Why do I hate myself?" This guy is using you and you are letting him... Don't allow it. Have some self-respect. You can find better men out there. No job? Come on. You have 2? Come on again. Damn.
Let him go sponge off of someone else. Don't let the fear of not finding someone else keep you there. It is o.k. to be alone for a while...It beats your current situation.
2007-01-21 03:21:39 · answer #10 · answered by Here2Help 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋