Concerns with my 4 year old?

Question

Ok so I have some concerns about my 4 year old. She will go to sleep in her own bed , but sometime in the middle of the night she will get in our bed. Why would she be waking up? Also im concerned im to lazy. I never had her in day care and she is still on a waiting list for head start, I work all day and am always busy at night. I read to her at least 2 books a night,(most of the time) but I dont know what she should be knowing right now. She just learned to count to 10. What should she know now? Am i just a lazy mother that doesnt spend enough time with her?

Answer 1

You are not a lazy mom! It is very hard to work all day and come home and try to give 100% of your attention to your child. If she is an only child she probably needs more of your attention because she has no one else to play with. And don't worry about her not "knowing" everything she is supposed to "know". Every child learns at a different pace. I was told every child catches up by 7. Some kids learn social interaction before they are interested in numbers and letters. If anything find some good kids movies that will help her learn in a fun way that she doesn't even know she is learning and you can watch it with her and then you can also relax a little while she watches it. It is a lot harder to be a mom then anyone ever told me. I am sure you are doing a great job. Good luck!

Answer 2

Well i wouldnt say you are a lazy mother but maybe you do need to spend more time with her my son is 4 and he can count to 100 and he does go to preschool and since are preschool here starts at 3 he has been in school since then he will be 5 in may as for the waking up my son still gets up and he always wants to sleep in my husbands bed we are getting real tired of it but it seems to be something he has managed to munipulate and we have not found a way to break the habit yet.Keep reading with her let her go on the computer let her watch noggin and pbs kids and other channels for preschoolers they do learn alot from these sources and try to get her in school its very important for her well being and development as a person and if you cant spend that much time with her maybe you can find someone to come spend some extra time with her GOOD LUCK

Answer 3

Your not a lazy mother you are a mother doing what you have to to support you guys!Her getting up in the middle of the night is a security thing she gets in bed with you because she wants that security. My children both who are now 4 & 5 still get in bed with me.Her counting to 10 is good try making games to get her to count more, and see if she can trace and write her name, and the rest will come in school! Make sure she knows her colors and shapes, and then you are golden! Motherhood doesn't come with a book! If it did then we'd all be bad moms! Being a mom is a learning experience! Mom knows best!

GOOD LUCK!!!! HOPE THIS HELPS!

Answer 4

Ahh, let them be little, let them sleep in the middle. Sometimes my daughter who is 2 wakes up, and climbs into bed with my husband and I...she goes right back to sleep, no big deal...but if you don't want her in there, get up and put her right back into her bed, keep doing it until she gets the picture. As for your daughter and what she should know....that depends on the child, we have read to my daughter since she would sit still and listen, and she has been counting to 10 since she was one, she know counts to 15. She also, knows shapes, colors, abc, etc. So, that is up to you as a parent. I would say if you are questioning yourself, take some more time out and spend with her. She will only be little once, you can't go back and make up for it!

Answer 5

Your not lazy!!!-Keep reading, that's great. Children learn at their own pace, just don't force it, she'll let you know what she's ready for. And it's perfectly normal for a child to go through periods where they wake up and get into bed w/parents, just take her back to her own bed if you do not want her to sleep with you. You can find tips on child development by going to ask.com-
just type in your question. Good Luck!!!

Answer 6

It may be very distructive to your relationship if she spends too much time in the bed with you. My parents babied my sister and let her sleep with them all the time. However, that left little time for them to be alone and my dad got really angry with my mother. I'm not blaming that on their divorce but it defenitly didn't help an already bad situation get any better.

Answer 7

MY SON IS 3 HE COUNTS TO 20 HE KNOWS HIS ABC HE DRAWS ALOT UM HE KNOWS HIS ADDRESS. ALL KIDS LEARN AT THERE OWN PACE. MAKE LEARNING FUN AS YOU DO THINGS AROUND THE HOUSE TEACH HER LITTLE THINGS!

Answer 8

What is a kindergarten screening?
Some schools do this routinely before kindergarten enrollment as a way of assessing a child’s abilities. A screening is not a readiness test – it doesn’t measure nearly all the factors that make a child considered ready for school – nor is it an intelligence test. It’s just a way of discovering whether your child is developing on par with his age group and of ensuring that his needs will be met in kindergarten. Most commonly, a screening lasts anywhere from fifteen to twenty minutes and includes tests such as:

Drawing and copying: the screener will note hand preference, comfort level, and fine motor and gripping skills.
Visual and auditory memory: how well the child is able to remember what he's just seen and heard.
Building with blocks: tests the child's hand/eye coordination, fine motor and dexterity skills, and perception.
Using language: the screener will ask the child to describe things or solve simple problems using reasoning skills.
Body movements: the child will be asked to hop, skip, and balance.
A screening may or may not include speech, hearing, dental, and vision tests. They may also want to know your child’s immunization history, so be sure to have that information handy just in case.



Is my child ready for school?
Kids are all developmentally different, and just because your child may fall slightly behind in a few areas may not mean she’s not ready for kindergarten. If she is slow at assembling a puzzle, for example, it may simply be that she hasn’t had enough practice or experience with that sort of work. The biggest requirement for kindergarten success is brain development – so if she’s physically lagging behind her peers and has trouble sharing toys, but can think and perceive clearly, she’ll probably do just fine. In general, your kindergarten-age child should have:


Adequate motor skills. This includes both large muscle activities such as walking a straight line and throwing a ball, and small muscle activities like drawing, coloring, and writing letters (or at least trying to).
Academic skills, such as conveying stories and ideas in complete and descriptive sentences, concentrating on a task for ten minutes, knowing and identifying colors, knowing the letters in her name (and recognizing it in print), knowing numbers through at least ten, and knowledge of basic shapes. She should also be able to answer questions regarding her environment (“How many girls are at this table?”), identify opposites, and understand differences and similarities between items.
Social skills. Playing cooperatively with other children, sharing, picking up toys when he’s finished with them, and following a routine all fall under this skill category.
Personal skills, such as handling clothing unassisted (hanging up her coat, buttoning her pants), communicating clearly so that others can easily understand her, and taking care of personal care – going to the bathroom, washing her hands, blowing her nose – by herself.
Curiosity and a desire to learn.


How can I prepare my child for kindergarten?
No matter how young your child is, it’s never too soon to start planning ahead. Sending your child to a quality preschool or day care, although it’s by no means absolutely mandatory, is a great way to build the skills she’ll need upon entering kindergarten. If you plan to enroll your child in a preschool or day care, look for a program that:

Puts an emphasis on learning in a fun, positive environment filled with lots of play.
Has activities centered around building socialization skills (serving lunch family-style, for example).
Encourages kids to question things and be curious.
Focuses on learning new things according to developmental readiness, not chronological age.
Has a low teacher-to-child ratio; the lower the ratio, the more individualized attention for each child.
Has educated teachers on-staff, with degrees in either child development or early childhood education.
Is licensed and accredited by your state, so that they must comply with state health and safety laws.

There are also a number of things that you can do at home, or on errands, in order to help your child prepare for school:

Read. One of the best things you can do for your child is foster a love of reading early on. Not only will it be more enjoyable for your child and not seen as a chore, but it will help him to recognize letters and words. Visit the library and let him pick out what books he’d like to read. Also, take advantage of the library’s story time. Don’t limit yourself to books – encourage your child to read signs, billboards, and bumper stickers as well.
When you write, let your child write too. Ask for her help in writing lists or tell her to write you a pretend check.
Go through the alphabet one letter at a time, and have your child collect (or just name) certain items that start with that day’s letter. Go one step further and have a themed snack or dinner: chili, carrots, and cake on “C” day, for example.
Create rhymes with your child and make them into silly songs.
Play letter “I spy” by saying, “I spy, with my little eye, something that begins with the letter H” and letting your child guess what you’re thinking of.
Buy a couple of sets of plastic letter magnets – you can pick them up cheaply at most dollar stores – and put them on the refrigerator or a special magnetized board, at a kid’s-eye level.
Have your child practice writing his name with chalk on the sidewalk, soap crayons in the bath, glittery crayons or markers, finger paints, or anything else that’s fun.
Pick out a few simple recipes and have her help you in the kitchen by measuring and mixing. Talk about quantities, textures, tastes and smells.
Encourage him to sort things out: separating all the freezer-bound groceries from the rest, putting socks together while doing laundry, or go the yummy route and let him sort a pack of Skittles or M&Ms into piles of the same color!
Refer to the calendar often. Keep track of the days of the week and the date, and make a countdown to special events.
Play games with your child that involve counting, such as the classics Candyland and High-Ho Cherry-O, and card games such as Memory.
When you’re at the supermarket, have her point out different shapes.
Improve fine motor skills (and increase creativity) in several ways: provide your child with an art box full of paper, markers, crayons, and scissors. Roll and mold clay into different shapes. Play with Legos or other blocks. Strings beads or cereal to make “jewelry.”
Put puzzles together. Make it a family affair!

And to better develop your child’s social and character building skills:

Teach your children how to listen: look into the speaker’s eyes and waiting to speak until the other person has finished. The best way to do this is by example, so be a good and attentive listener at all times!
Establish a daily routine well before school starts, so that your child won’t be overloaded with new things to adjust to.
Give your child a list of chores to take care of on a daily basis. Make a chart outlining his responsibilities and let him check off a box, or put on a sticker, when he’s completed a task.
Provide your child with plenty of opportunities to socialize with her peers, whether in an organized play group, or with neighbor kids or cousins.
Set an example for your child by expressing your own feelings in an appropriate manner and using self-control. Encourage her to use words to verbalize what she wants instead of whining about it.

A couple weeks before it’s time for him to actually start kindergarten, help him ease the inevitable jitters by telling him what he can expect to do and see on his first day – giving him at least a tentative rundown of the schedule will help him to feel more prepared. Express excitement over getting school supplies, and let him pick them out, so that he’ll be even more eager to use them. There are also some great books for this particular situation: check out The Night Before Kindergarten, by Natasha Wing, Countdown to Kindergarten by Alison McGhee, and First Day Jitters by Julie Danneberg, just to name a few.


A final word on safety …
Your child should be able to recite her full name and parents’ names, her address, and telephone number before going off to school. Make sure she knows what to do in case she’s approached by a stranger. Go for walks and practice walking on the sidewalk, crossing at crosswalks, and looking both ways before crossing the street. And make sure that she knows exactly how she’s getting home: her bus number and driver’s name, if she rides the bus; who may be picking her up (make a list and tell her to only ride with those designated people); or how to get home if she’s walking (practice the route several times, or just walk with her). Devise an alternate plan in case one way of getting home falls through.