I'm 45 and she is 56.We have slept together over 50 times but have not been sexual.We are both attractive people. She has never been married and has no children. I love her very much ,but am getting frustrated and am thinking of leaving her.
2007-01-21 03:08:55 · 28 answers · asked by skateskier 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
wow 4 years------ur very patient but have u asked her about this? perhaps she is afraid or had bad experiences.... u need to ask her about this.....good luck
2007-01-21 03:12:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with the last post. It could be she's waiting for you to make a commitment to her and the relationship. I assume you don't live together.
She could also be very shy about her body. You're 46, and she's 56- by 56 a lot of woman go through the change, and reactions and experiences of sex change as well. Talk it over with her- if you can't discuss these sexual matters intimately, then you shouldn't even be attempting to consummate it
Good luck!
2007-01-21 03:15:22 · answer #2 · answered by Alexandria 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely need more details to answer this one.
I.e., what does she say about it? Is it a matter of values, desire, what? Could be a marriage issue or it could be a hormonal issue or it could be a scared virgin issue? What's up? Is it an affectionate relationship?
Four years together and at your ages the situation isn't likely to change. Ever.
What are the circumstances? Unless it is repairable with counseling or hormonal treatment or a trip down the aisle you definitely have to decide to either accept things as they are or move on before much more time passes.
2007-01-21 03:21:48 · answer #3 · answered by laurie888 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something is wrong here, pal. I would say certainly talk to the lady about it. But 4 years is a very long time. Ask her if she won't consider a little therapy. Has she said what's under her hesitation?
If sex is important to you and she won't go for help then I think you know what kind of life you are facing. If you can't live without it then I think you have your answer.
2007-01-21 03:15:55 · answer #4 · answered by Ande 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
firstly, sexual relations are an important part of any relationship, it brings people together emotionally and physically. another thing which is EXTREMELY important in any relatioship is COMMUNICATION. so i suggest you have a really frank and honest talk with her. to what extent are you "not intimate"? do you not kiss etc? ask each other what you want from the sexual side of the relatonship, ask why she doesnt want to get involved, or respond to your advances etc. there also might be the possibilty of her being gay or asexual? so try and be as honest with her as you can, and if she does have any issues, try and help her through them. its always hard to confront issues which you have ignored for a long time, so you should help her thorugh. good luck! remember - its good to talk.
2007-01-21 03:17:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that the roots to her refrain from contact is the fact that her self-esteem is down the tubes.
I am pretty sure I am right about this.
You actions should be to constantly tell her how beautiful both her personality and her body is. It may take awhile, but building up her self-esteem will make her want to undress for you.
Try it. When women get older, they feel they are more unattractive, and they never receive the compliments they should have from their boyfriends.
2007-01-21 03:25:59 · answer #6 · answered by freezie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to her about it? I mean really talked to her about it?? Have you made any moves on her? Maybe she is waiting for you to make a move and won't do it herself. Try seducing her... women like gentle touches and kisses on the neck and that usually gets us warmed up... go from there. But talk to her first. Post more details on the situation in regards to the question. I will star it so I can come back and check back for details and give you a better answer.
2007-01-21 03:16:11 · answer #7 · answered by chanteuse87 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she is waiting for marriage, and its really messed up to leave her after 4 years because she doesnt want to have sex with u , if u really love her ask her to marry u , and u guys are way over the age to be fooling around! so be serious. how can u love someone but thinking of leaving them just becuase they dont want to be intamite thats wrong . it will hurt her very much.
2007-01-21 03:16:07 · answer #8 · answered by Daisy! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would sit down with her and talk to her. She scared of sex or never enjoyed it. So I say talk and candlelight dinner, moonlight walk very romantic things then in bed room candle light only and give her a nice full body massage. At first not working on getting her turned on but slowly work to doing that. Then give her lots of oral before trying. If this does not work look me up it will with me
2007-01-21 03:19:51 · answer #9 · answered by sara a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that shes wanting to marry you or has had bad experience. After all you've been together 4 years. If you really love her pop the question.
2007-01-21 03:18:35 · answer #10 · answered by haarleyman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not getting what you need, you have a couple of options.
A) Go get what you need elsewhere
B) Get in a relationship where you get what you need.
She is selfish... This is not normal behavior and why would you stay? Don't let the fear of not finding someone else stop you from leaving. Let her know that you have needs and if she can't meet them then something drastic WILL happen ( A or B)
2007-01-21 03:15:44 · answer #11 · answered by Here2Help 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋