Ok so I have a step sister, we are both in our 20's and married w/ a child. So fortunately I don't' have to see her very often anymore. But when I do have to see her, its almost unbearable. Her daughter is almost 2, you should hear the way she speaks to her. She calls her daughter an idiot, moran...etc..and other things that I can not even mention.Brings her kid around my kid when she's sick...etc.. She is just an overall bad mother. But NO ONE ever says anything to her. And whenever someone has said something to her, her father ( my mothers husband) gets mad like we are attacking her, then my Mom and him get into a fight. I have distanced myself as much as possible, but of course there are occasions where I have to see her. What should I do? Continue to ignore her behavior, or do I say something to her no matter what repercussions it has???
2007-01-21 02:32:19 · 15 answers · asked by ? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She didn't really have a mother growing up. My Mom and her Dad have only been married about 5 years. But just because she didn't have a mom, doesn't give her an excuse not to use common sense!
2007-01-21 02:51:56 · update #1
You should say whatever you feel like saying to her. Your interests here are in protecting your child from the step-sisters bad mothering, her bad language and the sick step-niece. You tell your mother's husband that you are not attacking the person, that you are talking about the behavior that needs to change to protect his grand baby as well as to protect his step-grand baby.
Good luck.
2007-01-21 02:37:55 · answer #1 · answered by CyndiDrum 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is very hard because it causes interferrance in your mothers marriage. Talk to your mom and let her know how you feel. Talk to her husband in a calm setting and tell him that her calling a 2 YR OLD CHILD an IDIOT is in NO way acceptable and you are unable to attend family functions if she will continue to behave this way. Let them both know that for the sake of your own child you cannot subject your child to witness such horrible things. After you talk to them and let them both know how you feel if it happens again show them you mean business..when the step sister calls her daughter an idiot calmly get up gather your stuff tell your mom bye and leave the house.
2007-01-21 02:44:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Granddad here
Its hard to accept when your young but you will have to if her child has some infection don't worry your child must build up its immune system it may be an idea to treat her like a friend although difficult for you I am not a religious person but turn the other cheek I wish the very best but do not let it upset you
You can always contact me for any advice at janetwithjim@hotmail.com
2007-01-21 02:45:06 · answer #3 · answered by edward b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since talking about it did not work, how about trying another approach? There are excellent parenting books out there, why not buy one and give it to her. Let her know that your concern is out of love for your neice, and not because you are trying to "one up" or judge her.
I am sure that is the way that she was raised and they both feel like you are judging not just her, but him as well. Facing your faults, blaring or not, is really hard on people. So instead of facing themselves, they just yell at you and carry on as before.
As for the whole sick kid visiting thing, call ahead... if your neice is not well, cancel the visit until you can see your mom and stepdad alone. Just explain that although you would love to see them, it just would not be convenient for your daughter to be getting ill on ______ (fill in day 48 hours away) and so you will just have to re-schedule.
2007-01-21 03:22:27 · answer #4 · answered by dedum 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not easy at all...
it depends on how her children are being treated. if it is real abuse then you have a duty to try and protect the children. if it is not then you do not. I assume you are reasonable so you have to decide if it is or is not abuse.
you do have the right and duty to protect your own children from sickness. do that always.
i would not involve the family, since that will only cause more problems.
stay away from statements like "she is a bad mother" and focus instead on the behavior that is bad, IE: telling her child "you are a moron".
something to consider, she may have real psychological problems and need help. you can't help if you alienate her. you also can't help if she doesn't want/accept help.
2007-01-21 02:53:55 · answer #5 · answered by bl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For spite Get her child to love you. I feel devious telling you to love the child and show the child kindness and heal the child when the child is sick and show the child how to be healthy minded and put on a sweater because Auntie said so...
When blubber butt gets wind of her child being against her and in your favor you get to lower the boom on her and tell her what a wicked person she is and show her herself and tell her that everyone feels she is the idiot moron etc that she spews out on her child dole it back at her. She will link to bolt to run away from you at first but after asking around about herself she may change her ways and thank you...
2007-01-21 02:53:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
have you ever search for suggestion out of your be sure or step be sure about this? they are going to wish to understand what is going on and they want to look after it instead of having them both keep touching you. perhaps you want to attempt to imagine of a few thing which will cause them to end touching you.
2016-12-02 20:25:03 · answer #7 · answered by barnas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did your mother treat her, growing up? Might be the reason she dooesn't know how to be a good mother.
2007-01-21 02:43:57 · answer #8 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She need to be told, someone need to react, its not really your problem if your mother and her husband cant handle things.
You are not responsible for her behavior and you got no obligation to accept bad behavior.
2007-01-21 02:42:12 · answer #9 · answered by toxisoft 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ignore her
someone WILL report her outside the family at some point, dont worry
2007-01-21 02:35:51 · answer #10 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋