I getting married in September and a girl that I work with that I also went to school with thinks that she is going to be one of my bridesmaids. We are good friends but we normally only see each other at work. I never even asked her to be one of my bridemaids but she automatically thinks that she is one. How do I tell her that she is not one of my bridemaids, in a way that it doen't hurt her feelings or ruin the kind of friendship we have?
2007-01-21 02:22:22 · 11 answers · asked by Randi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Be honest with her and be sincere about it..no excuses. If you have chosen your bridesmaids as your siblings or your fiancee's siblings then you must tell her fair is only fair that family comes first...tell her that she is important to you, and if there is another assignment that she can help with at the wedding offer it to her as a compromise of friendship.
2007-01-21 02:57:19 · answer #1 · answered by magickitty0621 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend who I had known for over 12 years. She just assumed she would be a bridesmaid, but I already had 6 I HAD to have. She had been a waitress for many years. I handled it by saying "I really wanted you to be a bridesmaid, but I have to have someone who I can trust to handle the food at the reception. Would you be offended if I asked you to take care of it? I know I can trust you and I won't have to worry about a thing in that area if you are in charge of it and it would mean sooo much to me." She beamed and was happy that she could help me. I treated her the same as a bridesmaid when it came to the gifting and even got her a corsage to wear the day of the wedding. She still has the corsage as a keepsake...
The idea of asking this girl to be your assistant is a great one, especially if she's an office worker. Try the same approach and it will work just fine. She'll be so happy that she was able to do something you could not trust anyone else with. Give her specific duties - like having your makeup ready for touch-ups after the ceremony & before the photos, being in charge of getting your personal items together and in the car so you can go straight from photos to the reception, use her cell phone the day of the wedding for venders and other questions, etc. Just remember to gift her the same as the bridesmaids & I really believe the corsage for the day of will be a big plus also.
Congratulations & good luck!
2007-01-21 11:10:54 · answer #2 · answered by Kristi C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the best policy because she is going to be slightly hurt no matter what. One way to do it so your not flat out saying your wrong is start talking about your wedding and start telling her your bridal party. When your done and she hasnt heard her name tell thats all we are having. If she ask why you didnt pick her tell her the truth. Now if there is something that she can help with in teh wedding let her know and tell her you would rather her do this for the wedding.
2007-01-21 13:36:39 · answer #3 · answered by mother 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds really interested in being involved. Tell her that you've already chosen your bridesmaids, but you would really like her to do a reading at the wedding.
If you talk about your wedding plans to people, then they will start to assume things you didn't intend. Non-invited people will think they are invited, friends will think they are BMs...
2007-01-21 12:24:51 · answer #4 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her a title of something else. Let her be a part in some way. Like Brides assistant, it will work. Tell her you didn't wanna make her bridesmaid because there were a few of them and only one of her. Make somthing up, it will spare feelings.
2007-01-21 10:55:18 · answer #5 · answered by Chey 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell your friend that you'd really love to have her be like your personal attendant or candlelighter or something you want her to do. tell her that she is a really good friend but (then explain about your bridesmaids...like they're family or friends for years) She will understand and if she doesn't she isn't a very good friend.
2007-01-21 12:05:32 · answer #6 · answered by boss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let he know that the bridal party has already been set. Finding something else for her to do is a great idea. Make her feel that she is still important to you. If she is a true friend she will understand.
2007-01-21 11:16:11 · answer #7 · answered by cookie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her who your bridesmaids are, do it nicely and tell her since you don't want to the burden and expense on her that you realy didn't think she would have wantedd to be one so you had already chosen...it'll be okay, if it ruins your "friendship", she is not your friendd....good luck.
2007-01-21 11:27:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell her up front and if she doesn't get it explain to her that you only choose so many. And that you didn't pick her because she is a co worker and you guys never see eachother out of work.
2007-01-21 11:05:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well tell her that you wont have bridesmaids for now.
2007-01-21 10:29:50 · answer #10 · answered by dancingwiththestars 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋