Why does my girlfriend's 1 year old always hitting his mother and I?

Question

We did not teach him that- He goes to a day care with some kids about 4 years older than he and their parents have drug problems so the kids are probably screwed up- does he learn hitting from them.

Answer 1

that's why we RAISE children. they are born that way. I bet you'll never have to teach that child to lie either. But he will. It's human nature. You have to discipline him. Put him in time out for the infraction. Good luck with that.

You know, people who hit other people find out in life that there's always someone bigger and hits harder. I think it would be a horrible lesson for him to learn when he's OLDER and a bigger kid beats the tar out of him. I would nip this in the bud and show him that you can hit too, and much harder. Maybe he'll learn that hitting doesn't bring a desireable effect.

Answer 2

A one year old has only the understanding of his surroundings. If there's no hitting at home, then there's hitting at the day care. If your girlfriend wants to continue at that day care, she needs to discuss her one year old's bad habit and find out if that's how the children play, or is he the only one that hits?

OR, under the guise of taking pictures of the children at school, take some time off and take a video or photos of the children "for the child's scrapbook" and while she's there, the hitting problem should be revealed.

As for stopping the hitting, no matter who or what is causing it, the child needs to be taught better now, for his and others' sake. If the problem is serious at the day care then a change of day care places is probably in order. However, since the child is doing this at home, it shows that he already thinks that it's the way to get his way, or attention.

The best thing I have found that teaches a young child the meaning of what they are doing is to give them a taste of their own medicine. That is, even though he is only one year old, whenever he goes to hit, grab his hands and say "no!" If repeated tries at that does not work, then while holding the hand he is hitting with, give it a sharp smack, again saying "no!"

When he is older, if the problem continues, you can explain why you're doing what your're doing and showing him that it hurts when people hit each other. Love should accompany all discipline, so take him up and talk soothingly to him while repeating, "no more hitting, OK?" Because of his age, you'll have to be patient.

Answer 3

Probably, but you better nip that NOW! It's hard to punish a one year old because they really don't understand action/consequences too much, but take away toys, time out, or a stern NO is a good start. You don't want to spank now for hitting because it's confusing for small kids. When he is 4 or 5 and he understands what's going on, then if that's your discipline of choice... by all means. I am a firm believer in if you spank, make sure the child understands why and that spanking is a disciplinary action and outright hitting is not acceptable.

I know it sound contradictory, but my kids are 4 and 6 and understand the difference. We only have to spank once or twice a year.

Answer 4

All kids go through this phase, not sure why but it's annoying to say the least. They are testing their independance and are trying to see how far they can go. When my children did this when they were one or two years old, I'd spat their hand (not real hard, just enough to get they're attention) and say NO. You have to keep it real simple for a 1 year old. They don't understand time outs and spankings. Just be patient and try not to lose your cool. The child will grow out of it in time.

Answer 5

I started spanking my kids when they were old enough to walk and started to hit (most kids will go through that phase, but it only becomes something serious if nothing is done about it).

I had no problems with spanking my kids when they tried to hit me. Rest assured, they only tried it once. *I* run my household, and I'll be damned if I am going to try to cater to a little kid who's being a brat just to try to keep him or her from hitting. I will swat his or her bottom, and get the point across that hitting HURTS.

When my kids hit, I smacked them on the bottom back. When they bit, I bit them back. Sometimes, they do things like that because they really DON'T know how it feels.

Answer 6

Does your 1 year talk? If not is he hitting because he is showing an emotion he can't describe? Are you ignoring him to the point where its the only way to get your attention? If he is frustrated and that is how he is showing his disapproval tell him that is not acceptable and then distract him to do something else.

He is 1! I don't think any of us learned how to be "perfect little soldiers" in 1 year.

Answer 7

Maybe you should think about his daycare situation. At this age he should be told no and put in time out hold him for a time out if he wont stay by himself or keep putting him back in time out untill he stays his full time like 2-5 minutes.

Answer 8

He could of picked up this behavior numerous different ways. It is very important that you stop him now from hitting you. There are many ways to do this. First and foremost everytime he goes to hit you, you need to take ahold of his arm, and tell him NO, we do not hit. Then set him down somewhere (Chair) and tell him, everytime you hit someone you will go for a time out. Continue this. Remember, no matter how mad you get, don't hit him back....

Answer 9

probrobly testing how much you both love him and care about him. kids that hit are usually kids that are not secure abuot something - I think you both need to show him who is the boss, and still show him that you love him

Answer 10

I donno but you need to take some action. If you let him hit ur girlfriend and u he will think he can do it without getting in trouble. Put him in a playarea or in his crib if he's bad.