Can two driven people have a successful relationship?

Question

I met this really nice lady a few months ago and we have been going out almost every week. Nothing major just coffee here, and lunch there. She is attractive and seems to be into me. The thing is that we are working, single, professional, homeowners, with great incomes, and no kids. On the surface it looks like a business deal rather than a relationship. She is very driven – two jobs, working on her masters, and a ton of hobbies. I use to be driven, but now I am relaxing in my late 30’s stable job, no real other aspirations other than maybe kids and a family. I am not so self absorbed that I can’t relate to a working woman on the contrary. I think I am very compatible with this lady; I just don’t want to be second to her career, and hobbies, and etc. I would hate to think that she would view a stable relationship (and or family) as a burden to her career. I don’t need a second income. Do I need to grow up, or does she? I’m not sure if this a relationship worth pursuing?

Answer 1

I think you're very right in questioning this relationship. It sounds like you may be ready for a more 'relaxed' (if you call a family life relaxed) lifestyle. She may be too into her career aspirations for the 'settling down' aspects. I'm afraid that if she did have a family and put aside her aspirations she may at some point become dissatisfied with that type of lifestyle. Before your relationship goes any farther talk with her about it. You don't have to make the conversation too 'serious' as in telling her what you expect from a relationship but approach it as taking time to learn more about each other. I don't think it's a maturity factor for either of you, I think it's more that you may not be compatible on what you want in your lives. Good luck!

Answer 2

I think this is a question best posed to her. All relationships in some respects are business deals. Marriage is a binding contract. There are rules, necessities and details that need to be worked out. I am in a relationship where both my partner & I are highly sucessful and totally driven. We have three kids and are high level managers. We both work about 70 hours a week. If you have the idea in your head that she is going to quit to have kids - that won't work. I can't really remember what my life was like before. It's busy, we are always running - but we were both like that anyway - now we are running with a purpose. And kids make you want even better things for them! I say, go for it. But talk a lot and make sure that you are on the same page. Many women still believe that they can't have it all and that kids (and marriage) means they have to chose.

Answer 3

If the two of you are driving in the same direction, no problem, if what you are looking for is a housewife, big problem. It not a question of growing up, its a question of where you are in your lives, and what you both want. If shes going for a Masters, shes going to want to use it, does she see herself working and having children too, or just working? Its not if you need a second income, its if your spouse to be is into her career and wants that corner office. You may be happier with a woman less focused on career. Don't hate to see the truth, children do hurt a woman's chance for career advancement, and wondering about picking up your kids late from the sitter is no way to go into an emergency meeting. She knows the reality of this as do millions of other women.

Answer 4

If you can only see her once a week, I doubt that she'll be interested in anything long-term. She has a ton of aspirations and a very full schedule — your life is far less fast-paced. If you're still seeing each other after a couple of months, you could try a friends-with-benefits affair. She might not want the trappings that come with meaningful relationships, but she'd probably enjoy that. (She sounds like my kind of woman. What does she do, anyway?)

Answer 5

it oculd work, it sounds like you are a different places at teh moment. Maybe see how things go, depends if you are just looking for an incubator or someone to share your life with. It sounds like you are compatiable with one another, its only been a few dates don't stress so much just see where it goes, if it doesn't go the way you want you can end the business deal

Answer 6

You need to have a talk with her.

Although two driven people can have a relationship, the point that you do not want to be in second place may put the kibosh on things.

Answer 7

sure it can work as long as you both take time for each other and appreciate one another. The key thing is you need to be honest with each other and you need to tell her what you want in life and hey you never know, she might just want the samething. You won't know till you ask. Good luck to you

Answer 8

approximately 8 months in the past I met a guy that replaced into marvelous, we had intercourse a minimum of as quickly as a week. i replaced into youthful and that i replaced into use to men that wished to dissimilar situations a week. After mutually as i began out pushing him to have intercourse, i wished greater. It ended up pushing him greater away, and finally thoroughly. i replaced into heartbroken to have lost him, and that i undergo in innovations thinking, having intercourse isn't so significant that I wanna lose what I felt with this guy. I dated others with greater intercourse drives, yet relatively i might of actually had as quickly as a month intercourse with him than the lads that ought to grant it standard. i found out that intercourse isn't approximately quantity that's approximately high quality. thankfully we've been further mutually back, and that i've got saved my promise to myself. i do no longer no longer push him. If it happens it does, if it does not it does not. And now the kisses are lots sweeter, him bringing me a chilly drink, or a contemporary he thinks i will like using fact it reminds him of me, breakfast in mattress etc. it relatively is lots sweeter than intercourse. And we nevertheless have intercourse as quickly as a week, and its marvelous using fact it is not compelled, it in basic terms happens. My suggestion is to look in any respect the wonderful issues he does for you, how he makes you sense, etc. If he's definitely a guy you choose for to marry all which could outweigh the intercourse.

Answer 9

two "driven" people can succeed... but you must both support each other... otherwise you might forget each other or just get caught up in your own stuff... and take time to cut the bull and be there for some quality couple-time.. :D

Answer 10

2 driven people can! Most likely they will be driven towards each other