Yesterday my sister bought her first pc and wanted to speak to my mother who we haven't seen in 12yrs(she lives 3000miles away). So my sister added her to MSN and then they chatted for a bit, then my mom pops up very early her time and tells me she has deleted my sis from her list cause she thinks my sis has been telling me the particulars of their conversation which she hadn't. Then my mom said that my sis was looking old and wore too much make-up. I even sent the chat transcripts to my mother of what we had talked about, she said i altered them which i hadn't. Then if that weren't enough she told me she had a terminal illness but wouldn't divulge what it was, now i'm sitting here thinking why wouldn't you tell someone unless of course its a lie. So my mother is gonna be 54 is she losing her mind, and should she have deleted my sis from her MSN, and do you think that this will turn out to be a healthy relationship for me?
2007-01-20 23:37:07 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
ayour mom is a fruit loop first of all 12 years? how in the hell can she say anything about your sis makeup? she should have thought bout that 12 freaking years ago she pisses me off. i have a dad like that to has not been around and only calls to say he is sorry when something is Wrong with him. my dad and your mom should get to geather so i can tell both of the to kiss my A#%. any way your mom is a freakazoied and no your relationship will most likely be crap i say just hang with your sis and love each other you sure as hell don't need a mom 12 years away to tell you guys sh#!.
2007-01-21 01:11:14 · answer #1 · answered by willy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you have not seen her in 12 years should say a lot. To have a healthy, fulfilling, truly intimate relationship with anyone, especially your mother, effort needs to be made on her behalf to keep you and your sister in her life. She is the adult and was the adult, and parent when she cut off the relationship. Yes, I would say there are many problems here. Your mother is very damaged in many ways. Her assessment of your sister is inappropriate, given she has not been in her life for years, nor yours. Listen...a "healthy relationship" for you? It depends solely on your expectations of your mother. If frequent absences from your life, guilting you into pitying her ( that is what someone does when they tell you they have terminal illness but then close you out from the details...including their feelings ), and putting your sister down, are acceptable to you, and you think all of the attributes I have listed are "healthy" then you can have a relationship with her of sorts. But "healthy" I think not. She must be healthy for you to have a healthy relationship with her. I would be seeing a therapist if I had a mother that was witholding, distant and cold. Mostly there she abandoned you and your sister and of course that has created a bond between you and your sister. It would help you to look deeper into this relationship wih your mother and come to some peace of mind. You cannot force your mother to have a relationship with your sis or you. But what you can do is strive for health and peace internally within yourself, and see things the way they truly are, rather than how you wish they would be.
2007-01-21 07:55:58 · answer #2 · answered by Suzanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not a healthy relationship!
You have not seen her in 12 years and she lives 3000 m away.
Best to keep your distance.
All your mom is doing is trying to drive you and your sister apart.
And the "having a terminal illness" is just to make you feel sorry for her. Ask her straight out about that.
If she does not give you a straight answer tell her she is lying.
Talk to your sister - don't let you mother come between you two.
2007-01-21 07:49:32 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like there's a problem, but do you really want to end the relationship with your own mother? i think that's what's wrong in today's society, run if something becomes unbearable. if a person isn't ready to become a parent, he or she will abandon the child(ren), if a marriage is having hard times, divorce is the answer. i think you should try to find out what is wrong with your mother and try to help her, she may be at the point she can no longer help herself. whatever ever happened to families sticking together through thick and thin? if you were older and losing your mind, i hope to God someone (especially if you have children) would help you, not just DELETE you.
2007-01-21 07:52:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
No she shouln't have deleted your sister!Is your mom trying to cause hurt feeling between you and your sister?Does your sister know what is going on?How did she take it?Could be that your mom is confused/stressed out about something,and taking it out on you/your sister,without realizing it.Have you kept in contact with your mom during the 12 years in didn't see her?If not,she may be hurt/mad,about that.Hope things work out for you.Good Luck!
2007-01-21 07:51:09 · answer #5 · answered by stressed 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Difficult as it may be, and you'll proabably feel guilty about it, i think it'd be best for you to end the relationship. i think she seems to be very manipulative (or trying to be), as well as attention seeking. Myslef and my sisters went through a similar thing, and after years of trying, we gave up and told her we couldnt help her unless she began to help herself (she's alcoholic, and with (we suspect) borderline personality disorder). It was very difficult, but in the long term much easier than having to deal with her demands and lies! Good luck.
2007-01-21 07:44:31 · answer #6 · answered by Cheryl D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl there is definitely a problem there! One that is easily rectified. Stop talking to her! If she calls or writes and continues down this same path slam her with it every time! It's like Pavlov's dog! Works even on old crazy mixed up parents!
2007-01-21 07:43:19 · answer #7 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Mom sounds as if she's got one oar in the water and one in the sand. It's little wonder why you and your sister haven't visited with her in 12 years.
2007-01-21 08:31:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore what she has to say and enjoy chatting with your sister. You two are the only sane ones in this situation.
2007-01-21 07:45:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe not Krazy but definitely weird
2007-01-21 07:50:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋