Muslims and Divorce?

Question

I am interested to know what the Muslim stance on divorce is? Traditionally and modern day opinions.

Answer 1

I will try to answer your question from Quran only;

Verse 2:228 : I am explaining by dividing the complete verse in parts.

"Divorced women should wait by themselves for three menstrual cycles; and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs if they believe in Allah and the Last Day. ..."

When a couple or one of the couple decide to break the marriage a particular procedure has to be followed. The divorce is pronounced to the partner. (or informed about or documented)

"... Their husbands have the right to take them back within that time, if they desire to be reconciled. ..."

The divorce cannot be immediate. After each menstrual cycle there should be an attempt of reconciliation. Not only at the end but the reconciliation effort can be continuous during the whole period. If the women is pregnant then it is not allowed to hide the pregnancy and the waiting period is the entire period of pregnancy i.e. till the child is born. Waiting period means that the divorce is not complete or valid till the waiting period (three menstrual periods or three months or pregnancy period depending on the casse) is over.

"... Women possess rights similar to those held over them to be honoured with fairness; ... "

The rights stated in the verse and anywhere else are similar for both men and women.

"... but men have a degree above them. Allah is Almighty, All-Wise."

This part of the verse is sometimes confusing for people. The verse has already said that the rights of men and women are equal then what is the meaning of men have a degree above them.

It is not confusing at all but very simple because it means that men have a greater degree of responsibility over the women than that of women over men. For example men must support their wives and children even after they are divorced but there is no responsibility of a wife to support her husband finacially. There is a verse that can clarify this greater degree of resposibility.

"Divorced women should receive maintenance given with correctness and courtesy: a duty for all who guard against evil." (2:241)

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Arbiteration in Divorce:

"If you fear a breach between a couple, send an arbiter from his people and an arbiter from her people. If the couple desire to put things right, Allah will bring about a reconciliation between them. Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware." (4:35)

No Waiting Period (if Wife is not Touched):

"You who believe! When you marry believing women and then divorce them before you have touched them, there is no waiting period for you to calculate for them, so give them a gift and let them go with kindness." (33:49)

Defining Waiting Period in Different Circumstances:

"In the case of those of your wives who are past the age of menstruation, if you have any doubt, their waiting period should be three months, and that also applies to those who have not yet menstruated. The time for women who are pregnant is when they give birth. Whoever has fear of Allah–He will make matters easy for him." (65:4)

Completion of Divorce:

"Then when they have reached the end of their waiting period either retain them with correctness and courtesy or part from them with correctness and courtesy. Call two upright men from among yourselves as witnesses and they should carry out the witnessing for Allah. This is admonishment for all who believe in Allah and the Last Day. Whoever has fear of Allah–He will give him a way out." (65:2)

Living Durig Waiting Period, Not Allowed to Pressure or Harass and Milk Feeding of a Child:

"Let them live where you live, according to your means. Do not put pressure on them, so as to harass them. If they are pregnant, maintain them until they give birth. If they are suckling for you, give them their wages and consult together with correctness and courtesy. But if you make things difficult for one another, another woman should do the suckling for you." (65:6)

Answer 2

Islam has always remained same from the time the Prophet preached it ,he preached ALLAH'S religion-and unlike any other religion there is no old or modern Islam- it is now what it had been ages before and will be same till the day of JUDGEMENT.
in Islam the worst thing allowed by ALLAH is divorce.
a Muslim can divorce just by saying - divorce to you i give (mainly in Arabic)3 times.
there is no court or any type of paper divorce in ISLAM

Answer 3

Divorce is one of the things that Islam allows but is greatly disliked. The husband has the absolute right to divorce his wife. Nonetheless, the wife has the right to request the religious judge to annul the marriage under certain circumstances, i.e. mistreated, etc.

Peace and Love

Answer 4

Women in Islam can divorce their husbands simply if they are sick of them. It's not liked, but it's allowed because God realizes that not everyone can get along or even if they do, it might not last. So, it's allowed and the divorced couple can marry others. Women get the right to first custody of the children and the men are to support her and the children as though they are still married.

Answer 5

Divorce is allowed, but not favored.... after divorce, the man should pay his ex-wife and kids some amount every month to help her live....

Answer 6

ok my english is not good but i will try to explain
in islam divorce is ok i mean its allowod do divorce if one of the parts wants to but islam always encourge us not and to think before we act
i think thats all for now
bye

Answer 7

Man, since the dawn of history, has taken the initiative in his relation to woman, he proposes to the woman he wishes to have and she responds either negatively or positively. It is part of woman's nature to show herself off to the man she desires and waits for his response. Rarely does woman propose, this would be an exception.

As man has the right to ask for a woman's hand, he has also the right to dispense with her. This was the case until societies began to organize the practice of this right in the light of the dominant religions.

In Judaism, the husband has the unconditioned right of divorcing his wife and has to give her a "bill" of divorce. If she married another man and leaves him because of divorce or for other reason, she has no right to re-marry her first husband even if they wish to do so. Consider Deuteronomy chapter 24.

1- When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her, then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand and send her out of his house.

2- And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.

3- And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife.

4- Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is denied.

This continued to be the common practice until Christianity came into existence. When Jesus was asked about divorce he prohibited it saying: "And I say unto you. Whosoever shall put away with his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery; and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." (Mathew 19:9)

Nevertheless, Europeans and Americans can resort to the court to have one of three forms of divorce. The first is to nullify the marriage contract, the second is a form of separation; the third separates the husband and wife but they remain bound by a legal marriage contract. However, before reaching any form of divorce, the judge and the juries have to be convinced of the impossibility of marital life between the couple. Matters of spending on children, and other financial affairs have to be settled down before passing a final sentence on divorce.

Divorce is permitted in Islam as the last unwelcome resort, when all other doors are closed. It is an unwelcome necessity, a bitter pill, an abomination. The Muslim resorts to it only when all the other means to sustain marital life fail. When a Muslim feels unable to retain his wife for some reason or other, he should not hasten to divorce her; rather he should resort to patience. Allah Almighty advises him: "And consort with them (women) with beneficence, so in case you hate them, then it is possible you may hate something, and Allah sets in it much charity." (4:19)

He would ask some of their relatives to intercede to resolve the problems they face. If he loses patience and all the efforts to bring them together fail, the Muslim then may divorce his wife a reversible divorce. In four months time, if his anger abates and he feels the desire to rejoin his wife and she overcomes her hatred and wishes for resuming their life, then they may resume their married life. However, if they remain unchanged, man may divorce her the second time. "And when you divorce women and they reach their prescribed time then either retain them in good fellowship or set them free with liberality." (2:231)

Again the Qur'an stresses kindness towards women even if you divorce them. "So when they have reached their prescribed limit, then retain them with kindness or separate them with kindness." (65:2)

This means that a Muslim should not keep his wife for an unlimited time without deciding to retain her or separate from her. In four months time, after pronouncing the first reversible divorce, the husband has to decide either to go back to his wife or to divorce her an irreversible divorce, to set her free. In both cases woman is to be treated with equal kindness and generosity.

Divorce may prove more merciful than forcing wives and husbands to live together despite their will. Both partners will look for side ways to avoid this abominable life. The social consequences of such life may be devastating such as adultery and even murder. Divorce is a bitter pill to be swallowed when everything else fails. Allah Almighty knows what is best for mankind.

[Summarized from: "Islam from a Contemporary Perspective" By Dr. Zaki M. Abdallah]

Answer 8

It is considered to be the worst of all allowable things.

Its done in three steps basically.

More info here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triple_talaq

Answer 9

Let me first of all say very clearly that there is no such thing as fiqh which can be taken as something separate from, or put in opposition to Qur'an or Hadith. Fiqh is a branch of Islamic scholarship which explains the details of Islamic legislation on the basis of commandments and instructions stated in the Qur'an and the Hadith. Different scholars may arrive at different conclusions on a particular subject, because they may not have the same statements in Hadith available to them. The Qur'an is available to all, but some of its statements may be given in general terms with Hadith explaining or qualifying them. The two rulings your nephew received from scholars in his home town are both given by scholars of fiqh on the basis of the Qur'an and Hadith. Wherever a person goes in the Muslim world, he is bound to be given the same two rulings by scholars. Not only so, the same scholar may explain to him both rulings. How is this possible? The answer is the supporting evidence for each ruling. There is no doubt that both have very valid evidence. We cannot dismiss either ruling out of hand, nor can we ignore its basis. Scholars of highest repute in our history subscribed to either one or the other. How can then a layman manage his own situation and which ruling he should follow? The simple advice is that he should go to a broad minded scholar and explain his case. He should make sure that the scholar does not strictly follow a particular school of thought but rather is one who gives a judgement on each case according to its merit, and as he deems most suitable to the people concerned, using any judgement given by different schools of thought as long as it has sufficient supporting evidence to keep the enquirer within the boundaries of what is acceptable from the Islamic point of view. I do not think that much purpose can be served by a detailed discussion in a newspaper like ours of the different factors relevant to each of the two rulings. However, I can say very briefly that the one which makes a divorce pronounced three times on the same occasion count as three divorces came into operation during the time of Umar without disagreement by any of the learned companions of the Prophet. It was more in punishment for a degree of abuse of the Islamic process of divorce. There is no disagreement among scholars that to divorce one's wife three times or more on the same occasion is forbidden from the Islamic point of view because it is an abuse of a legitimate procedure. When the Prophet was told by one of his companions that he divorced his wife one hundred times on the same occasion, the Prophet was very angry. He addressed his companions in such terms, "Is Allah's Book to be trifled with when I am still alive among you?" However, the overwhelming majority of people who divorce their wives three times on the same occasion nowadays do so out of ignorance. They think that unless they pronounce the word of divorce three times, the divorce is not valid. Hence an explanation of the divorce process in Islam needs to be given time and again until people get to know how to approach divorce, which is disliked by Allah, should they ever need to resort to it. Perhaps I should add that divorce in Islam is a very simple process but well entrenched misconceptions tend to obscure it. Here it is in simple terms : Essentially marriage is a verbal contract and its dissolution is normally made verbally. When a man intends to divorce his wife, he should make sure that she is not in her menstruation period and that the two of them have not had sexual intercourse during her current period of cleanliness from menstruation. If either case is there, i.e. if the woman is in the period or if sexual intercourse had taken place, then to effect a divorce at that particular time is forbidden. Thy should wait until the woman has finished her period or until she has had her next period. The divorce process is started with a simple utterance of the words "I divorce you," or "I divorce_"(naming one's wife). This should be done ONCE ONLY. This can also be done in writing and sent by post. From that moment, a woman starts her waiting period which lasts until she has completed three menstruation periods or three periods of cleanliness from menstruation. If she does not have the period either because she is too old or too young, then her waiting term lasts three months. If she is pregnant, the waiting term continues until she has given birth. During this time, she stays in her home, i.e. her family home where she has been living with her husband. He is not allowed to turn her out. He is required to maintain her through this period but may not share the same bedroom. She is not required to do any housework. The waiting period provides both divorcees with time to reconsider their situation. If they wish to be reunited in marriage, they may do so within the waiting period without any need to have a fresh marriage contract or to pay a fresh dower. If they do not resume their marriage until the waiting period is over, then the divorce process is complete and the woman returns to her parents' home and is entitled to get any deferred portion of her dower. She is not entitled to any maintenance for herself from her ex-husband. If, however, she has the custody of any young children, they are entitled to be supported by their father. Both are also entitled to maintain their normal relationship with their children. On the other hand, if the divorcees want to be reunited in marriage after the waiting period is over, they may do so provided they have a new marriage contract and the woman receives a new dower. This whole process may be done twice. If a man and wife go through the divorce process for a third time, whether they were reunited each time during the waiting period or after it, their divorce this time is final, in the sense that they cannot be reunited again in marriage without an intervening marriage by the woman who must be married to another man in the normal course of events. This means that to all intents and purposes the divorce is final. If the woman receives a proposal from someone else and accepts it and marries him, her marriage must be intended for life. If, however, she gets divorced after a period of time, may be a year or may be ten years, or longer or shorter, she may return after the end of her new waiting period, to her first husband if both of them think that this time their marriage may be successful. I must emphasize here that this intervening marriage must not be arranged for this purpose, as many people unfortunately do. If it is specifically arranged for this period, and the man hired for the purpose agrees to go through it for one night or a week or whatever, everyone involved is committing a serious sin. Moreover, such an arrangement has no effect whatsoever. In other words, the woman cannot return to her first husband on the basis of such an 'arranged' intervening marriage. Having explained the process of divorce, I should say to my first reader that his nephew may consider his divorce to be a single divorce. He can be reunited with his former wife after having a new marriage contract, since her waiting period is over. He should tell his nephew that to divorce his wife three times on the same occasion is forbidden. Perhaps I should add that the family law of several Muslim states adopts this ruling as the standard one. By doing so, the scholars who have codified the family have given due consideration to what serves the interests of the Muslim community and the fact that many people pronounce three divorces at the same time out of total ignorance. His nephew should not be confused by the two rulings and let him not think that to follow fiqh is different from following the Qur'an and the sunnah.