my lover is mixed raced and im black and he says that he doesnt fancy girls that are really dark skin. i consider myself dark skin but he is convinced im brown skin i asked him if i was two shades darker would he still find me attractive and he replyed "well, the colour helps" i found this quite offensive. he also states that he doesnt like white girls and the closest to white he would go with is mediteranian because they are more tanned but never english girls. does anyone else not find his views racially offensive or is it a matter of preference?
2007-01-20 22:10:54 · 34 answers · asked by missy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well tel him "The Blacker The Berry The Sweeter The Juice". I'm light brown but i would be hurt too.. you should not judge anyone by that. and i have real problem with people who are always dissing the dark skin sisters out there . he should be the last person to judge anyone since he is two different races and a lot of people don't like people like him and people have a lot of nasty names for people who are of mixed races. Yeah it might be his preference but why would you say that to a black women.. because all of us have family members who might be dark skin. i also went through a little something like this with my boyfriend when me and him where just friends He said that he preferred Spanish women over black women (he is also mixed). so i ask him why do you want to be with me so bad? why because i look Spanish... but i told him as far as i know I'm all black and very proud of it and wouldn't want to be nothing else and now he is with me and loving every bit of this black girl . you know people judge to much of the unnecessary things about a person and not the most important thing which is what is inside of an individually.... because he can meet a girl that he prefer that would treat him like crap and he might meet a good girl who he doesn't prefer who would treat him like a king... so it shouldn't matter what color she is as long is she respects him , loves him, and will be there for him no matter what he is . you should ask him how it would feel if people judge him because he is fat, short , skinny, tall mixed or etc. and ask him what if he would have a child that is dark skin or who looks white would he love him/her differently. explain to him how you feel about what he said and ask him those questions. Tell him we don't need anymore ignorant people in this world don't you think we have enough. Believe me what he doesn't like somebody else will and what comes around will come back around it might not be about his race it might just be something else but it will come back to him . what you put out their you will get it back in return
2007-01-20 22:55:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest - i think as he is just being honest, you should try to forget he said all this nonsense!!! Lets face it - he fancies YOU and thats the main thing isnt it?? I mean, yes, his views could be considered racist but no more than a white guy saying he doesnt really fancy black gals! i am a white girl and although i have no real preference, i have only ever gone out with white guys - i have yet to meet a black guy that i fancy as much as white guys - but thats not to say that i would rule out ever being with someone just simply because of their race/colour/ethnicity!! Everyone has their own persona preference at the end of the day and as His preference is YOU then i say Lucky You!!
2007-01-20 22:47:50 · answer #2 · answered by *~_**_Jester_**_Girl_**_~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi I am 'brown' family are Asian descent, but have lived in Trinidad for 250 years, you know, colonisation, slavery. But I was born here and am British, and know very little of background as was fostered and brought up in an all English culture. I am 43, and have a daughter of 'mixed' blood. I have never been out with anyone coloured, not through choice, but I tend to have more in common with English people, it has become my culture, by my upbringing. It doesn't mean anything other than who you get on with, what you have in common and beauty is only skin deep, colour should not be an issue, if it is, that is very superficial. I have never told my daughter anything about colour, religion, I allow her to make her own mind up. Perhaps your lover was brought up with his heritage being an issue in his life, or his mother's life, and she made him feel like he does. Ask him how he feels about people's personalities, white people are no different from coloured, or black. We all came in the world the same way, and we all leave the same way. It is what you do in between that counts, If a man made me feel my colour was an issue, I would be gone mate!! See if you can get him to open up to you first though!! Don't let his hang up become yours, you have to live too, and be happy.
2007-01-20 22:44:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im a white man that has no problem working and hanging out with people of any other race, (as long as they speek english so I know when there swearing at me)
BUT, I will not date a girl that is not white. I tried dating a "African American" girl once and it just didnt feel right
and a womans body is a object, I have a few parts that women look at as objects, if your looking for just a friend skin dosent matter just the personality, but if your looking for a romantic partner she has to turn you on!!!
2007-01-20 22:17:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
im really going for last one its kind of preference, some white men see blck girl atractiv some not some blck goes just for white , but there r some people when they talk about race they hv complex which side they class them self .
for my self the word racist doesnt mean nothing ,well if u check the meaning of the word racist mean if some1 think his race is better than urs , from this point i cant see no one is better than no one a specialy who r consider.. as racist thats not a pure feelling is just complex bcz most a racist people r cowardy,weak and cant stand for their self thats why their r like that and the funny thing when they talk about race and in reality they dont hv race , ur race is ur family tree but they dont know even their father i wouldnt say grand father so how comes they talk about race.
so i will say ur b/f was talking just about preference .
2007-01-20 22:43:40 · answer #5 · answered by annaba55 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's just preference, I doubt I would find a black girl with a natural afro attractive, as I like hair I can run my fingers through. I'm no racist, but that natural trait of black girls is a turn off. I am attracted to many black girls, but they always have their hair straitened. Same with Oriental girls with puffier eye-lids, as I like big eyes. Racist? No, so I don't like Lucy Liu, but I would marry Ziyi Zhang tomorrow. We all have physical preferences, we don't always stick to them, as a girls that doesn't fit a "wish list" can still be attractive when personailty takes over from first physical impressions.
Don't condem your lover, he's just being open and honest. If you start judging him, he'll stop sharing stuff like this with you.
2007-01-20 22:23:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
It can't be racist because there is no such thing as 'races'. Biologically (genetically) all human beings (black, brown, 'yellow', white) are approximately 99% identical. There are different nationalities - African, Indian, Chinese, English etc etc but they are all from the same race if you have to use the word - i.e. the human race.
2007-01-21 09:47:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's totally up to him what he finds attractive, but this 'two shades darker' thing makes me think he is a little prejudiced. Probably he grew up with people making comments about people of different races and he has taken this onboard and it affects him sub-consciously. I don't think he is racist though. If he has any other attitudes like this then I would start to wonder though.
2007-01-20 22:23:13 · answer #8 · answered by Velouria 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
very good question....I mean I prefer blondes but I have nothing against brunettes, that's a colour thing! I think racism is a much more complicated issue than what we realise.Ginger haired girls do nothing for me and it's quite worrying as I have great ginger friends! I suppose that is prejudice but when it comes to what turns me on I cant change that! Does that make me racist?Worrying!
2007-01-20 22:20:58 · answer #9 · answered by returnofkarlos 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You would have to be a dork to find it racist i mean i wouldent date a really dark woman why ....... ill tell you im white and like light skin and would date only similar to my skin color also med tanned is hot , its my opinion and its what i find most attractive . Its his taste and no he isent racist . Racist is to hate someone of a certain race but not being attracted to a certain race isent racist . Get it .
2007-01-20 22:19:24 · answer #10 · answered by badass-mofu 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋