How do you learn to let go of someone?

Question

I guess it's because it's late and I'm feeling a bit melodramatic while listening to James Blunt's "Goodbye My Lover" that I find myself asking that question. Now most of you might reply with something like just date other girls. At this point, I've dated and been intimate with more women that most guys ever will. It's not something to brag about, but at least you'd understand where I'm comming from. A while back I used to be with some one and when we broke up, she wanted me to fight for her and I didn't. I just let her go. Something I regret each day. I've been with someone new for close to a year now, but I'd be lying if I said I've moved on from my ex. I'm never emotional, but sometimes when I'm alone, I miss her. I just want to be over her and to be honest, I've done everything my womanizing mind suggests and yet, it's still there. Maybe it's my punishment. How do you forget about someone that life reminds you about each day?

Answer 1

you should not be feeling guilty! you didn't let the judges frown! jesus I love that song!! even though it makes me cry like a fool!! coldplay- warning sign.. oh wow that does it to me too let the tear ducts out! well the truth is you can't let someone go that easily you can try to force them out of the system but it won't work. love is a mother ******. Its great and horrible at the same time.! so great that you could have feeling so great! horrible that it hurts!!! but be happy you had something so wonderful that could actually make you feel so bad at the same time! that means it was worth it right? you'll never be able to get them out of your head no matter how many times you say " goodbye my lover goodbye my friend" sorry to tell you but it sucks.. maybe this poem will cheer you up and help you..

" You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
you can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left
your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
you can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesturday.
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesturday.
you can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
you can cry and close your mind.
be empty and turn your back,
or you can do what she'd want
smile, open your eyes, love and go on."
-David Harkins-

you can interpret it different ways. anyways good luck! hope things clear up and get better for you

Answer 2

You probably are not going to like this answer but I think you are just living with the consequences of your philosophy on life. If you think girls are there to make you happy and you can't be bothered to fight or make any real commitment then I doubt whether you will have any quality relationships ever. James Blunt??yikes if that's your idea of meaningful and romantic I feel very sorry for you. I don't think he has got much chance either, but maybe I'm a cynic. You are not doing the lady you are with a favour, give her a break and call it off. If you really regret the old girlfriend then maybe you should try and make amends, if not try to enjoy being single and try not to mess up any other girls lives. And in the meantime try to become more outward looking. Sorry that may sound harsh and I truely wish you all the best, I'm just giving my honest opinion!

Answer 3

Like the quote says, "It takes a day to find your soulmate, a month to love them, an eternity to forget them". There's really nothing that you can do to "forget" your ex. All you have is just time. Sure you've been with many women, done a lot of things to try and forget your ex, and it doesn't seem to be working. Ever ask yourself why you're doing the things you're doing or dating the girls that you're dating? If it's for that main reason, to forget your ex, then it's all for the wrong reasons. It's a good idea since you're having a hard time getting over her, to call her up and be friends. You'll always care for her and will always want her in your life. Things may have not worked out, but you'll always value a friendship and she'll appreciate your efforts for trying. Better late than never.

Answer 4

i get like that often. so i wait it out and when i am in a normal mood i call them just to shoot the breeze or be a friend. while i am talkin with them i remember all of the stupid little things he did that made me nuts or sometimes the convo will just lead me to a point that reminds me i am glad i moved on. but i think everyone has those nights. especially an avid lover of love songs like me!!!!! and yah...that replacement factor doesnt always help.

Answer 5

You may have let her walk away, but she is the one who walked away. Perhaps you are spending too much time thinking about all the positives that occured with the ex instead of thinking what led you to break up in the first place.

Answer 6

By "Knowing Thyself".
Why do you behave the way you do? Why do you still long for your ex? I suspect you haven't a clue and proably have never asked yourself these questions. When you find the answers you will have let go. Counseling helps.

Answer 7

Letting go isn't always easy but it can help to focus on the top 3 things she did that annoyed you. In your case, remember how you felt when she kept insisting that you had to fight for her. Who does she think she is? Why should you have to fight to keep anyone?

Answer 8

You may not ever be able to let go. Not every disease has a cure. Not every problem has a solution. So you just go on living anyway.

Answer 9

get rid of every object...everything (including daily activities) that reminds u of her. and most importantly, u really have to want to let go.

Answer 10

Advice on how to let go:
http://www.relationship-affairs.com/your-ex.html