" sadly missed" "devoted father" "loving son" "gone but not forgotten" what about the truth. died of a drug overdose, cheated on her husband for years. abusede his children lost the housekeeping in the betting shop. overeater, drunkard, suffered from untreated alcoholism..died because she was a bad beggar.shot for selling drugs. why are there all these obsessive one liners on headstones?
2007-01-20 21:06:46 · 23 answers · asked by meditation and mango juice 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I work for the funeral services, and you could hardly put in 'lying cheating scum bag ' on a headstone!! however through a news letter recieved at work, I was reading about an American company who indeed do headstones that dont lie. The one that stuck in my mind was 'Walter, liked by some hated by many, loved by none, especially his 5 ex wives and his many children, most of which were never seen, or supported by this 'man' rest in peace ( if you can).
It certainly made me chuckle, and as a scorned ex wife, I would love to see more headstones like this!!! in fact, I might start making some suggestions in my own headstone quotes to families that have divulged truths about deceased loved ones!!!! ( or maybe not, I would like to keep my job!)
2007-01-20 21:15:43 · answer #1 · answered by tizzy 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Whatever you put on the gravestone is something you want that person to be remembered by. No-one wants to remember their loved one as someone who died of a drug overdose.
And even if a person was a drug addict, alcoholic or anything like that doesn't mean they weren't also loved by heir family.
Alcoholic doesn't rule out beloved.
It's also about respect of the deceased.
2007-01-21 05:22:12 · answer #2 · answered by c_lotty2001 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some will always miss you when you die, whether it was self inflicted or not, If my son/husband died of a drug overdose tomorrow{he doesn't take them though], or obesity/alcoholism or any other reason Am I saying that I wouldn't miss him or that he wasn't a loving son,Absolutely not.
So to answer your question yes I do believe what I read on headstones
2007-01-21 05:17:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your question brings to mind my basic belief about gravestones: They should leave a positive message for present and future visitors to the gravesite.
What irks me is the obituries one reads these days. Are we burying a bunch of sainted family men and women or what? And in many of these treks down memory lane, everything the poor departed soul did on earth -- hobbies, etc. is mentioned. It's almost painful to read through these things.
Truthfully, sometimes I think these people who died were unbeievably difficult to get along with in life, their relatives felt guilty about avoiding them when they were alive, and so leave a more kindly message on their tombstones.
The big lesson here: Buy your own plot and tombstone before you die.
2007-01-21 05:47:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
People are more complicated than that. It seems to me someone could be "sadly missed", etc. and still be any of the things on the negative side of your list. And at the time the gravestone is carved, the loss is new, but the person's faults are old news to those who knew him/her.
2007-01-21 06:12:39 · answer #5 · answered by Let Me Think 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not all headstones have such sentiments. Generally though, those who are loved do have such words. They actually cost more to put on, so if you hate someone, you aren't going to spend the money to immortalize that feeling (unless you've got it to spare).
My uncle and aunt had thought of words to place on their tombstones. My uncle was a sailor and spent many years on the sea.
His:
Here is the sailor returned from the sea. Where I am going, you'll soon follow me.
Hers:
To follow you I shan't consent because I know which way you went.
2007-01-21 05:14:16 · answer #6 · answered by Deirdre H 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i have to catch up on my gravestone reading.
i think that even if the person was a loser, their death is still sad, and the person who went through the trouble of having the gravestone engraved (and paid the related costs) probably does feel that way.
2007-01-21 05:13:08 · answer #7 · answered by soren 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
If the gravestones told the truth they would be so big i dont think anybody could afford them.
2007-01-21 06:58:42 · answer #8 · answered by Dan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well in my family not one of us has a headstone, no money,if we could mine could say she was poor having to raise three children with no help from run away dad.That is my crime poverty.No one
in my family ever did any of those evil things you say.however if a relative sinned i would love them just the same.Can you cast the first stone. {pun intended }
2007-01-21 05:22:59 · answer #9 · answered by gwhiz1052 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The silent message
"Even if he was not a good individual we still miss him"
" We loved him even if he did not do so"
" Now that he is no more All is forgiven if not forgotten"
2007-01-21 05:13:47 · answer #10 · answered by madhatter 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋