Well Im not fat right now, but I am overweight. I need to lose 25 lbs to look good again. I had knee injury last year and packed on the pounds. Ive lost 25 of 40 lbs.
My cousin fixed me up on a blind date few weeks ago
She showed the guy pics of me from a year and half ago before I put on the weight. Argh
Needless to say his face dropped when we met.
We had great conversations and he kept saying how attractive my face was (oh no found me fat)
Well after our date he was livid at my cousin and told her husband that he thought i was so gorgeous in the photos and felt bad because he was attracted to how i looked in th epics not now.
I was dumb and emailed him this long stupid note apologising on behalf of my cousin.
I guess he was embarassed because all he wrote back was was thta no it wasnt my weight but he lives a dramafree life and cant deal with any drama and he wished me well.
This is so annoying. I really really liked this guy and there is no way to get in touch with him
2007-01-20 20:16:38 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No way to get in touch with him future except online.
Im going to be done losing this weight within 2-3 months.
Should I give him space and than reveal the new me to him then ?
How would I do this without seeming obvious ?
I know it sounds dumb to even pursue him but my cousin messed this up.
I wouldve waited to meet him until i lost weight had i known which pictures she showed him !
2007-01-20 20:18:29 · update #1
Definitely move on!
Your cousin did not ruin it for you ... the GUY did!!
Let me tell you a story .... a young woman, from age 19 on up to age 38, gorgeous, slender, head-turning model type appearance ... she would walk down the street or into a store and everyone would stare. Sometimes people took pictures. Then one day, she got ill. And had a back injury. Because of the disability and the illness, among other things, she ended up weighing double what she had before and feeling totally worthless at the age of 44. Then a wonderful man came along, who let her know she was beautiful and charming, and sensitive and caring and everything a woman should be, and loved her the way a woman should be loved. He knew what she once looked like, and sure, he wouldn't mind if she still did, but he says, she is the sweetest woman in the world, and she is all mine. And he means it.
I pray you meet a man like that ... no matter what you look like, no matter how fine .. it is who you are that counts, and the person that sees who you are that matters.
2007-01-20 20:29:30 · answer #1 · answered by Pichi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you stressing over this loser? How dare he insult you like that! That is how you should be thinking. You don't need to unvail the "new you" because the old you isn't horrible. So what if you've gained weight, most of us have been out of shape in our lives and it's not something to be ridiculed for. If this guy had two brain cells in his head, he would've judged you based on the conversation and how well the date went. That's it!
Right now, it sounds like your self esteem is low. I don't know if it's because you think you look bad because you've gained some extra weight or you've always been that way. Either way, you're too good for this man. That is not lip service! Physicial attraction is important in a relationship but this dude is just shallow and rude! It's ok that you had a moment of weakness and emailed him but, you did that to apologize to him for you not being what he expected. Excuse my french but, screw him! If anything, he let YOU down. You expected to go on a date with a man and instead you got a piece of dog poo. He should apologize to you.
The bottom line is this, don't give his a** a second thought. Easier said than done, I know but, if someone makes you feel so crappy, he's not someone you need in your life. Life has a very funny way of knocking the crap out of losers like him. Continue to lose weight if that's what you want to do. Just don't let an idiot like him think you need to show him that's you're worthy of his company. Like I said, if anything, he's unworthy to be breathing the same air you breathe. Good luck!
2007-01-20 20:34:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really admire your determination to feel good about your self first.As much your cousin did something bad I guess she menat it to be in a good way.
Anyway the first you should be really concerned about is yourself. just think about your happiness and what your aspirations. when you are happy it will rub n other people.
I can only say your blind date really lived upto his name blind. If he cannot percieve beneath you skin then he is not worth having you. You are a loving , caring, diligent and you were born for a reason.You are a unique being. If no one can see that then you are better off with the few people who love you.
You might go on with the exercise to lose weight but work hard on loving your self more and building your self esteem. In due time you will have more friends than you can count and there is someone out there who will love you for all that you have.Nothing more or nothing less
2007-01-20 20:29:57 · answer #3 · answered by cynnie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget about him. Don't ever feel bad or like it is your fault because someone isn't attracted to you. What you do is continue to lose the weight, go for another guy, and rub it in his face. There are guys out there who can appreciate a woman for what she is on the inside, and 25 lbs overweight is not all that bad, especially if you are working to shed yourself of the weight. And the drama excuse is kinda pathetic, really. For me, the personality and eyes are what draw me in. Body types change over the long-run..
Hope you find a great guy who will dig you for you and not some ideal hourglass figurine.
2007-01-20 20:28:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, no, no darling. One is beautiful just the way one is. If the guy said that he liked the girl in the pic and when he saw you his face changed, then it is not worth it. He seems shallow to me.
I know it's hard to gain weight cuz I had a knee accident and put on 30 pounds but honey it's all about self esteem. Keep loosing the weight for u. and if he said he is drama free he is just trying to look for an excuse. I mean what kind of drama could you had given him in a 1st date unless u were a psycho which i doubt cuz u seem like a nice girl.
My advice let him go. Love yourself, even know with your 25 pounds extra. You are beautiful. Inside it's what matters that will never fade. Remember that my friend.
Best,
Chiquita
2007-01-20 20:25:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to become involved with a guy who basis whether or not to date a person on how they look? That's superficial and those relationships DO NOT LAST!! You would have become emotionally involved and been hurt. I would not want to be with someone who dictates how I should look. Accept me as I am or leave me alone. He didn't even try to get to know you as a person! You could have continued to lose the weight and he could have supported you in that. You will find the right person for yourself when you have reached the goal that you want. I strongly suggest that you tell your "friend" to let you do things YOUR way and date whom you choose and avoid meeting shallow, meaningless men like the last one.
2007-01-20 20:33:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey suga, r u as shollow as he is? If he liked u or thought u was interesting don't think he would have made that his biggest issue when he talked about u! What happen's when he gain's wieght? is that going 2 b ur issue? hey hey hey,it's fat ablert. I dont think your wieght is his real issue, if he found u interesting!I s he young and shy? r u as shallow? when u lose 25 and he gain's 25 in his gut what then? energy on your health is a good thing.lose the wieght becuase u can and will b healthier, but at the same time don't let it hinder ur personallity! oh he don't like me cuase im over wieght! his lost! you r going 2 have bigger struggle's in life then that. don't allow a shallow person 2 affect your goal's life is 2 short booboo
2007-01-21 00:58:44 · answer #7 · answered by sitting_in_th3_cut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be yourself. If he doesn't like you for who you are then forget him. Chances are most of us will either be bald, fat or have grey hair when we get older anyway so. You may have found out that the guy is a peice of ****. Because he is the type to focus on the appearance and not the heart. Which 90% of America does! Which is why our country is so messed up when it comes to relationships.
2007-01-20 20:32:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know, I read every word you wrote and I want to give you an honest answer.
I have been injured in the past: Broken collar bone, dislocated shoulder, cracked ribs, etc and I never recall gaining any sizeable amount of weight. And it never prevented me from doing what needed to be done, regardless of the pain.
The fact that you gained weight and then attempted to lose it shows that you aren't happy with your body; the fact that you felt the need to apologize for your present size and for your cousin's misrepresentation reaffirms my theory. My suggestion to you is that you get an activity schedule that will allow you to eat and maintain your ideal weight and stop making excuses for your size and shape...you have only yourself to impress. Stop blaming your lack of discipline on your injury, soldiers, football players and other contact-sports team members play injured all the time.
2007-01-20 20:46:04 · answer #9 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
why are you losing weight for this guy?
he is an idiot and if he didnt like you because you were a bit overweight what would happen if some terrible accident made you disabled or something he would be off like a shot he is a real SHALLOW HAL you are better off without him.
if you want to lose weight lose it for YOURSELF if oyu are happy with yourself then wait for the right man to appreciate you
2007-01-20 20:22:31 · answer #10 · answered by jambutty 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋