I have asked a similar question but am still confused! She says she loves and misses me.. But feels she cant live with me. However what should I do? I have told her recently what I would want in a new relationship with her which is what she always wanted. The break allowed me time to realise that.. She says she is seeing no one else and will ask me that each time she sees/texts me. So do I continue with the I love you, I want this to (which is the truth) or go cold and quiet and hope she misses me and makes her realise what she is losing, or not I guess? I did go quiet for about 2-3 weeks and when i texted her she was really open saying she loved me etc but can't live with me (thats cos we argued a lot in the last months due to our job stresses, which have now gone for reasons). But she says although I may have changed she has to, but needs to want to..? Strategy??.. Thanks
2007-01-20 19:38:30 · 10 answers · asked by Jason E 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to get together, go on a date, this cannot be resolved using disjointed texts, you need eye contact and to talk to each other. Breaks like this can do wonders, to step back and take stock and re-evaluate, especially if you have been taking aspects of your relationship for granted. But it will not work itself out, unless you get together and fix it.
2007-01-20 22:30:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she's obviously being very cautious since your recent split has knocked her for six, and she doesn't want to get hurt again. Clearly she does love you but can't live with you. Unfortunately this is something you are going to have to work at, quietly, constantly, and without stressing her too much. Tell her you have changed or, better still, write her a letter from the heart. Letters and words don't go away and she can read your letter and think it all over. Tell her how sorry you are that you mucked it up, that - now she's gone - you realise you lost the best girl in the world. Make it personal - how much you enjoyed waking up to her smile, how the smell of her hair made you want to cuddle her. Make her laugh, little anecdotes about what you did together that were special to you two. What you want to do is for her to remember the good bits about living together, the small snuggly bits. Tell her that you have changed for the better, that she has made you a better person. Ask her if she can, in her heart, forgive you and give you another chance.
Send this letter by post. Stay quiet and don't text her - give her a bit of thinking time. Then send some flowers, a small but fragrant bunch.
Then contact her again and see how ti all develops. You need to win her back and slowly, slowly and gently may work.
good luck.
2007-01-20 21:02:44 · answer #2 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, this is simple. She is seeing someone. Not what you want to hear but her fickleness is a tell tale sign she's stuck between two worlds. Her old life with you and her new life with someone else. Her saying she has to want to change is telling too. In other words, she doesn't think she needs to change because it was all your fault (not that that is the case). Couples argue, that's common. If you're committed, you don't bail when things get tough. Job stress is natural and is to be expected and not really a valid excuse. I've actually been through this exact situation before and I can tell you, it's confusing and usually ends up heartbreaking. I'd love it if it turns out she's not seeing anyone else but honestly, all the signs point to that. Your best bet is to just stop calling/texting her. If you want to take a chance, let her call you and then see where the two of you are at. I hope I'm wrong on this one but it sounds oh-so familiar. Good luck!
2007-01-20 19:46:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really have to carry on getting on with your life without her - if you break up because of a month of job stresses, then maybe the relationship wasn't strong enough in the first place. I know you miss her, but you need to focus on getting on without her for a while yet, and same goes for her. In a few months, if you both still feel the same, then you should have another go because enough time will have passed for you both to make a fresh start. It's too soon to try again just now - you both haven't had enough time apart to evaluate and change. Good luck!
2007-01-20 20:46:38 · answer #4 · answered by Just_wondering 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting circumstances. Communication is the best tool for any relationship. See if you can get her, and more importantly, yourself to sit down with each other to talk about it. If she says she loves you, she shouldn't be opposed to this. Just tell her about how confused you are about the whole situation and ask her what her thoughts are. Just talk about it. Something will eventually come up. A decision will be made. It may not be what you want, or originally want, but it will happen. That way at least there will be no more wondering. Uncertanty can hurt more than a broken heart.
2007-01-20 19:44:22 · answer #5 · answered by Whateva 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love is not a chess game. I hate to be blunt but if you are trying to apply strategy to an emotional unanswerable question, I would get off the interenet and get a life. Once you fully apply yourself to something satisfying and rewarding she may end up chasing after you. If not, you still win anyway.
2007-01-20 20:12:49 · answer #6 · answered by Kenneth L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep on saying you love her, give her sometime to figure out what she wants, but don't go into a shell like becoming cold or hostile, be the next door guy who is there to help her, i think the best is not to pressure her for you cannot do anything until she is sure what she wants. But keep reminding her that you still love her and looking to restart in a new way.
i hope she figures out soon, best of luck.
2007-01-20 19:47:48 · answer #7 · answered by Kite man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's only saying those things because she feels bad for you, and she doesn't want to hurt you. It's easier for her to say "I still love you, but I can't be with you" than to say "Sorry, it's over."
If she really loved you and wanted to be with you, she would be with you. Period. Don't let her make a fool of you any longer. Move on.
2007-01-20 19:44:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is one of two thing either she realizes she messed up but is afraid to admit it all the way or she had someone else while yall were togther and they srewed her over like she did you
2007-01-20 20:14:41 · answer #9 · answered by bambi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
by the sound of it you both need time out just let the girl have some fun and just be there for her
2007-01-20 20:09:18 · answer #10 · answered by leanne w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋