I mean, if they try one thing and stick with it until it works.. instead of trying 10 things and thowing up your hands and say they don't work. Wouldn't it work if you stuck with one disipline tecnique.. and were consistent with it?
2007-01-20 19:33:21 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
When one parent says "nothing works with my kids" or "I've tried everything",he usually means that he has tried every punishment which flashed across through his mind.They yell, criticize, spank, take away privileges, send their kids in kids' room "to think over what they have done".If we have to be honest,everyone will own up that there have been moments when they have lost their self-control and have done such things(or have thought about them).Parents who have tried these are right when they say that punishments are ineffective.For the moment we may see them as 'effective' but punishments never turn the child's behavior better in the long term.Punishments only make the problem more difficult and make parents and children go into power fights.The reason of the inefficiency of punishments is that they are based on the wrong suggestion that people become better when we make them feel worse - that children and people at all will learn only if they are put under pain, shame and humiliation.When children feel safety(instead of living in fear of punishments) they acquire important life abilities and skills which will help them in real life.
2007-01-20 21:43:47 · answer #1 · answered by Livia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a parent is a full time give everything away taske and enjoy the special moments when they tank you in their own way for being the parent. (This is maybe once in three blue moons) Parents are tagged by their paents in how to bing up children and by applying the ways of your paenets to your children who are in their block of time, not yours which was many years ago. The motion fails to work. What you thnk - is and if you think nothing works then you are setting up that return of energy for the future. Beleive that your child will work for you when you put a suggestion to that child, not an order. Your virsion of love is different to the childs version of love. Responce to love will be different and what you expect isn't what the child is comprohending as what is expected. The child is a part of you, but is not you. You were the gate way for the child to enter into physical earth life and that child is here to function in the way it was born to function. The parent is a guiding and responce source. You are like a computer and the child is a floppy disk that your computer made and therefore, the only computer that can read that floppy disk. You are the mother (or father). You are the adult and the child is the Child who thinks as a child. relate to the child as a child not as an adult. How you talk to your mom is not the way to talk to your daughter. Look at child web chat rooms and read how thay talk then try to express your desires in that format. An adultis seen as a boss and children don't like being bossed about by adults. Hope this has helped you. Teema
2007-01-21 04:56:02 · answer #2 · answered by teemasday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you are right, routine is very important for children. If you aren't consistent with discipline, of course it is not going to work! It would be very weak, don't you think? And in reality the fact is that children would rather be disciplined--they don't want to be lost in life! How will they learn anything if we are not consistent with what we teach them? I can see how being wishy washy in techniques would not be very effective. I think you are right as far as consistency goes.
However, my child is having conduct problems at school. Discipline has not worked and she seems frustrated. Because she is a VERY good kid. We are beginning to think it is because she is bored. I am not removing the discipline, but will change her back to her old school, where I believe she was challenged. So, in a way, I am trying something new. I don't know, I just go with the flow.
2007-01-21 03:43:53 · answer #3 · answered by Carhop3000 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think when we say 'nothing works with my kid' most of us are just letting off steam out of sheer frustration with the situation at hand, with mine I had to have three different ways as she would figure it out otherwise. I'm still not sure which one worked as she has grown into a young lady that I am very proud of. As a single mum for over 12 years I think that the fact I mainly focused on my relationship with my child instead of trying to find a partner helped along with the examples I set for her as in relation to earning an income, the importance of education and self respect.
I had my ups and downs with her but we are also close as a result of what ever it was that I did right. She is now 19 going on 20 in a few months and is studying child welfare as she wishes to work in juvenile justice.
2007-01-21 03:43:42 · answer #4 · answered by polynesiachick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One technique may work for one child but not for another. I have twins and use different ways to deal with them. Find the one that works and use it. The nothing works with my kid can be true. Nothing effected my son( or if it did he was too stubborn to let it show. Time outs were used for him to calm down and think through whether what he was doing was a good idea. mind you the next day he would be back there for the same reason. Nothing to bad just typical non violent kid stuff) till we got a PS2...now boy do I have something that works. Threaten to take away his PlayStation and he is a different boy. Some though use that as an excuse to not discipline their kids.
2007-01-21 05:01:31 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it's a sound technique, yes, you're right...it may just be a consistency problem. Kids learn real fast when a parent doesn't stick to their guns to simply wait it out.
A lot of times though, I think the poor parents are just mentally and physically exhausted.
2007-01-21 04:13:01 · answer #6 · answered by Cynthia D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because kids are clever and will adapt to each change in discipline. You're right in trying to stick to one, but if that works any better, I'll be amassed.
2007-01-21 03:51:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Each child is unique, what works with one child may not work with another. If a parent says, "nothing works with my kid", sometimes they are asking for your advice.
Sounds like you are wanting to give it.
2007-01-21 03:42:07 · answer #8 · answered by Wendy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i think its partly for that reason, and mostly because they are taking the easy way out, its much harder being a good parent and sticking at things!{ i think you know that} granted there are kids who take a bit more work than others-- but you dont give up on them do you?!!!!!
2007-01-21 04:38:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it just don't work like that. I'm having problems with my son for over 3 yrs now and trust me when i say i have try ed everything.the best thing i can say is don't get up on the child.
2007-01-21 03:42:41 · answer #10 · answered by ninie420 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋