3 weeks ago I had attended the wedding of an old friend. She and I hadn't spoken in almost 3 years and one day, out of the blue she had called me and requested that I attend her wedding as a bridesmaid. I was thrilled so I agreed. Later she informed me that I was not allowed to bring a guest. She knew that I had been living with my spouse for 3 years now, and when I told her I really wanted him to join, she had me pay for his plate which was 76$. This bothered me a bit, and I felt pretty insulted but I was determined not to let it ruin the occasion.
The day of the wedding went by smoothly untill during the reception I had found out that the bridesmaids were responsible for their own transportation. I was stranded, so ended up having to leave early.
As a gift I gave the bride 100$ cash and a few decorative items. She hasnt called to say thank you, or given me a bridesmaid's gift nor has she even sent a thank you card.
Is it just me or does she seem clueless about manners?
2007-01-20 19:13:32 · 22 answers · asked by babs_bunnii 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Clearly, she's nothing near to a friend, or a simple person with simple manners.
To me, it seems that the only reason she called you was to USE you as a bridesmaid, and NOT have the HONOR of having you as a bridesmaid.
Seems like she didn't have enough ladies to play the role, and that's not strange when we hear about her behavior from your post.
If i were you, I'd just forget the whole matter. Oh, and keep a very distant and formal relationship with her, and nothing more.
Watch out, she might be calling ya after a few months asking ya to hold her a baby-shower!
2007-01-20 19:21:39 · answer #1 · answered by Serendipity 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Send your thank-you notes as soon as possible after the wedding, definitely within three months. Only if you have a very large guest list or are going on an extended honeymoon should you delay them any longer than that. That was from Weddingbells.com.
I personally think 3 months is too long, but ooh well. I have yet to receive one from 8 months ago, imagine that.
I don't blame you one bit for feeling the way you do. I however would have declined being her bridemaid and would have avoiding all this.
2007-01-21 09:59:03 · answer #2 · answered by ~ Inny & Coors ~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say give her a little more time on the thank-you...but honestly I wouldn't be surprised if you don't recieve one. She sounds like a 1st rate b****. Hate to say that but it's true. I also think that if she asked you to attend her wedding as a bridesmaid that you should have been "allowed" to bring your spouse. That is RIDICULOUS! I certainly think it was rude of her to have you pay for his meal. Did she tell others NO GUESTS and make them pay for the guests meal if they did bring one...I think NOT! I WOULD personally like to ask this girl what she was thinking, on your behalf. I am so sorry that this happened to you. Obviously not a good friend.
2007-01-20 19:34:32 · answer #3 · answered by Destiny 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She was extermely rude she should of gave you the informationso you werent stranded. Plus its only proper to send a thank you. If she contacted you close t teh wedding date alot of caterters wont allow number changes to their totals after a certain date. So that would be why she made you pay for your hubbys plate. But if she contacted you a month or more before the wedding then she had plenty of time to add one more quest to the list. Then she was being rude, all in all I would be pissed off at her.
2007-01-21 05:45:25 · answer #4 · answered by mother 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK. Weddings are expensive and if she didn't know your partner that may be why she was hesitant about asking them. It is not entirely uncommon in that situation to have them pay for their plate if the budget is already allocated (If they had 100 guests they were already forking out $7,600 just on food. - see my point?)Usually the extra guest offers to pay.
That she didn't tell you to arrange your own transport (which is a little unusual) is a surprise. How much of the planning did you actually help with? Often little details like this get lost in the giant amount of planning rehearsing and budgeting that is involved in a wedding. EVERY ONE FORGETS SOMETHING!!
As for the thankyous, how long was the honeymoon? Have they been back long enough?
2007-01-20 20:43:30 · answer #5 · answered by kllr.queen 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
umm yeah she sounds pretty rude but then at my wedding it took me someone to remind me of my thankyou I was up in the clouds. Lets hope she didn't just use you to have enough bridesmaids and I also think you should have got a small wedding gift especially if you hadn't seen her for so long and think of how many gifts she got to rummage through anyway- she's away with the birds- give her time then ring her so then you don't have to worry anymore.
2007-01-20 19:48:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
man, i can go on and on. my friend of almost 18 years is getting married in March.....she didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid, and i think it's because her and all of her friends (who she asked) are size 3's and i'm not.
i was really really hurt. when she first told me that she was getting married, i drove half hour to go visit her and bring her roses and congratulate her. little did i know that she also invited all her bridesmaids and they were having this little wedding planning girl time and she didn't even look my way once.
i know shes 'excited' and all, and she doesnt mean to hurt me, but it does hurt. I think she, and your friend, needs to calm it down, and really think things through. thats not fair that she invited only you, i mean, she should have done a you+1 so you wouldnt be alone and dateless...
i'm sorry about that.
2007-01-20 20:24:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow no wonder you two haven't spoken in 3 years. She sounds pretty mean. I would be upset if I was you. Sorry to hear someone would do that. But then it has only been 3 weeks. Maybe the thank you card is in the mail.
2007-01-20 20:50:23 · answer #8 · answered by nay 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put this story on etiquettehell.com.
Yes, that bride has atrocious manners. Spouses must ALWAYS be invited, you never SELL a seat at your wedding reception to someone, and also she has treated you badly.
Just another rude bride to add to the wide- spead epidemic!
2007-01-21 04:00:17 · answer #9 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
$76 is a LOT for one person!! I would have given her a card with $24 and a note that said "You would have gotten $100, but I had to pay for my spouse's dinner with your gift". Tacky, sure, but it might leave you even.
2007-01-21 07:49:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋