More often than not I find myself meeting girls, beng able to talk to them, making them laugh, but being stuck in the "friend zone". I'm seen as a nice, sweet, funny, guy and it never gets me anywhere. I'm tired of it, and wanna be seen as less of just a "cute friend". Any tips to help me step up my game?
2007-01-20 19:06:09 · 8 answers · asked by Jhaycen 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yeah, sure. ask for dates.
Keep your friends that are girls, and be aggressive in pursuit of with new ones that don't know you. It is a numbers game.
Be, act, and look confident, and act as if you are Mr. cool guy, so relaxed, so charming, easygoing, a good listener.
If you ask out 20 girls that are "ready to date", and do it right, one will give you a date. The key is just do not walk up to random girls, you got to see who seems interested in you. Be an interesting person. Learn a language, play an instrument, write.
If you ask out 100 girls who are ready to date, by the time you hit number 40, you've already got more girlfriends than you can handle.
It is also key that a girl sizes you up for your potential in the first three meetings.
If by the 4th or so time (it varies, it is not science) you have made no moves on her, she thinks of you as her good friend to talk to, not as someone she is gonna date later, after you have known her for six months. You know this to be true.
Listen up....Okay, I'll be direct. Stop being afraid of your own shadow, and be bold. You like to play it safe, to wait for the perfect opportunity the perfect tijme, with the perfect girl, which never happens, because life isn't perfect.
I was like you, or at least good friends with lots of girls, no girlfriends, till I hit the military.
Then I went to clubs, asked for dances, got turned down a lot, a lot and even more. Then I danced by myself. This whole process took maybe 6 months. I did not quit. Then I didn't care if I got a date or not. Then my life changed, I just started talking to girls, just to talk. In the process, we danced, then I asked for dates, casual stuff.
Through experience, I can now confidently just start conversation with anyone. No pickup lines, just hanging out. Until getting a girl to go out with me was just not a problem any more.
Go out there, and get the experience. Be tough, be charming, be a cool guy. Act serious, and try slightly older women. Younger girls generally have no appreciation for a good guy and are hung up on looks. Not always, but generally.
Good luck. I lost a great girl, because i was her "Best Friend" until she married someone else. Now she's got 6 kids with him. C'est la vie, I found a wife that I am happy with.
It's a numbers game, act as if you were James Bond, cool guy.
After a while you'll get some success, you might start to believe it. After years, it will be true, no lie.
It's all in experience, practice, and skill.
You know as well as I do that there are guys and girls out there that are average looks or worse, but they can get dates, because of Confidence, and not looking desperate. It's not about looks, not always.
Have fun.
2007-01-20 19:27:45 · answer #1 · answered by A Military Veteran 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this problem. I had to make a decision to NOT be their friends. This doesn't mean that I am not still a nice guy, but I had to make the decision right away when I met a girl whether or not I wanted to be her friend or lover. You must act early if you like her, or she will assume you never want a relationship. You cannot jump from friend to lover without a lot of screaming. You can still start the relationship off as platonic, but you MUST let her know early on that you are interested in her in a romantic way.
2007-01-20 19:10:39 · answer #2 · answered by TellMeSup 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could start by not being such a nice, sweet, funny, guy . WOmen may say thats what they want , but in relationships they love to be treated as trash ( hence , the good guy always loses ) .
Start dogging them out , dont call in the morning , make them pay for everything , lose your car and job and go back and live with your mother , at that point the opposite gender will be all over you. ......are you sure you are not gay?
2007-01-20 19:13:17 · answer #3 · answered by fiveonadub 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah you want to start up replacing your relationship consisting of her quick. each and every time she does some thing dorky or dumb bust her chops on it make relaxing of her and produce it up more advantageous than once contained in the day no longer too a lot cuz then you surely receives stressful. also each and every time she inquires about some thing on your sensible your weekend, exes, acquaintances, and so on. be type of a smartass about answering her. Be quite conceited yet no longer an finished prick or you'll lose your friendship consisting of her. If she is a effective woman have the flexibility to have a number of what you're doing dished decrease back at you so be waiting and continuously on your ft haha she should be wondering "wow this guy who i concept become so spectacular and innocuous is really horny he's so effective and he's not bending over backwards for me merely because i'm exceptionally what the hell?!?! I even ought to get to the bottom of this" at this aspect she should be showing you the classic indicators of a crush: guffawing at each and every thing you're saying punching you contained in the arm or slapping contained in the arm supplying you with the :O face followed by technique of a grin whenever you dish her a strong comeback declaring "omg you're sooo humorous!!" or some thing alongside those lines searching down on the floor when you lock eyes taking area in consisting of her hair plenty licking her lips then searching at your eyes then down at your lips (ability she needs you to kiss her) strong success bro!! Oh and btw if she begins telling you about adult males she likes over and throughout lower back then you surely are type of doomed and also you're gonna want to artwork plenty harder. also attempt no longer to make your self so accessible.
2016-12-02 20:14:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your description of yourself is what a girl seeks in a guy (sweet, funny & smart), every sucessful relationship begins and/or is based on friendship.
all you got to do now is show the person you fancy that you want to be more than "just friends" by being flirty with them (compliment them, admire them, focus you attention more on them etc)
people will see the difference between how you act around that person and how you act normally to others. but like metioned above don't let things stay platonic for too long, cause otherweise you'll freak them out if all of a sudden out of the blue you proclaim your love for them, maybe be nice, for a few weeks(so she sees your a nice person), but then start to show, your real feelings towards her and be mor upfront, or she'll always see you as "just a friend" or "love you as a brother"
if their not getting the hint tell them straight up how you feel, but don't scare them by exposing all of your love for them, just tell them you like them more than a friend and ask them out.
every guy i know is a friend to me, it's only when they tell me that they want to be more than just that, that i give faith a go, and go on a date with them.
don't stress, it's all good
2007-01-20 19:16:10 · answer #5 · answered by Milly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
invite them to do stuff with you. when u first meet a girl, show that u like her by complimenting her or something. if u start out as one of those nice friend guys, then u are in that category, but if u show that u have some type of interest in her, then u might be considered
2007-01-20 19:10:53 · answer #6 · answered by Luciya 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop being so nice all the time. You gotta be mean sometimes too. Sad but true.
2007-01-20 19:09:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Model yourself after Vince Vaughn in "Swingers".
2007-01-20 19:09:26 · answer #8 · answered by rocketcarhead 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋