I was the other woman to John*-- he had a live in girlfriend and at the time I like had major trust issues. Not an excuse but it was my reason. After John* and I broke up I hooked up with David* who is a friend of John*'s. At no point did I or David* go behind anyone's back, and nothing was done out of spite. With that said, here are the two points of View.
DAVID*: feels that he's wrong because they were friends. He still wants to be in a relationship but can't see himself married to me because of my former "relationship" with John*. He is still planning to move into the house that we recently found.
ME: I don't feel bad because when David* and I started conversing over the phone, it was long after John* and I ended. I'm happier with David* than I've ever been with anyone. Problem: I want a marriage. I don't want to just live with someone for the rest of my life. I've had my friends hook up with exes of mine. As long as there's an actual breakup, even if I get mad I'll be fine.
2007-01-20 18:44:07 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
David* and I have been together for 10 months, March will make a year and if there is a marriage it won't be soon. It's just on my mind because we just talked about his feeling like he's done wrong.
2007-01-20 18:55:34 · update #1
People sometimes travel in the same circles. It's normal to be attracted to someone you have already been around socially. The only time I think anyone is really wrong when it comes to this kind of thing is if a marriage/family is broken because of it, or if it is a malicious intent to deceive. You shouldn't be off limits to David* just because you dated someone he knows.
If you really want marriage, you're gonna have to see how deep the John* issue goes. Have they talked together about it? Is John pissed, or has he broken off their friendship because of this? If he's moving into a house with you, he obviously wants to be with you. He's probably just unsure about how that situation will be dealt with between him and his friend, or how your relationship with him looks to other people-mainly his OTHER friends-and a wedding will bring all that to a head. Will he be able to be comfortable inviting his friends to a wedding, or to your house? Or will he feel too guilty? He doesn't wanna alienate the guys. Just give him some time to work all that out. It sounds like he's confused, and you putting pressure on him will only make it worse.
It's actually a GOOD thing that he is having a moral debate. If he is a trustworthy person, and one who is considerate of other people's feelings, and one who is genuinely trying to do the right thing-that's a guy to hang onto. One you yourself will be able to trust and depend on.
2007-01-20 18:58:42 · answer #1 · answered by dragonlady 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Johns hatin' cuz you found somone who's not attached to someone and David is just being a worry-wart...Don't stress the marriage thing especially if the other party is not to ready for it. It'll all be a bad thing to insist on it.
2007-01-21 02:50:15 · answer #2 · answered by memjabeana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a man finds his true love, ther's NOTHING in the world to stop him from doing the craziest, riskiest and most amazing things... yeah, like marriage! This fella's chickening out!
2007-01-21 02:50:23 · answer #3 · answered by lakokotxa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think me and others will say that you should have never gone there and dated his friend that is violation 40334 ofcourse ..lol but since its been done id say that david** is not gonna stay for long hes gonna stay with you until something better comes along this is why hes not gonna marry you like maybe that person who would have never dated his friend as well ya know! ..but maybe hes hell come to term s with it and decide to marry you who knows :)
2007-01-21 02:51:35 · answer #4 · answered by realist86 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋