i'm a chinese and chinese people are very conservative insofar there's still a lot of them not preferring sex before marriage. seems to me that people from western countries are more open-minded. but do girls there also cares about vaginity very much? i mean is it just very usual in western countries that dating a guy nearly means you'll have sex with him even he's not the one you are going to marry?
i'm being chased by a foreign guy and i'm kind of hesitating. that's why i want to know.
2007-01-20 18:33:42 · 11 answers · asked by Lorraine YE 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
everyone responding to my question is so kind. thank you. but perhaps my use of words was a bit misleading. i didn't mean i'm still a virgin; and in fact i'm not one anymore. i had pre-marital sex with my bf but for cultural reason i felt kind of guilty of it. so i've promised myself for my next bf i won't be so causal with sex. that's why i was asking. it's not about defending my virginity. i clarify this because all of you here were so kind.
2007-01-21 04:44:31 · update #1
There is Major peer pressure here for youngsters to have sexual relations very early-- as a kind of ritual of passage into adulthood thing---virginity is looked on by some as childish--But--there are a lot of people who could tell you horror stories of going down that road too early and getting too involved before one's natural time to do so (when the time and situation is perfectly right) !!
You should not allow ANYONE else's thoughts on this matter sway your own heart and thoughts on it !!
In closing I see that you have stated that you are being "chased" by someone-----and so I would like to leave you with a statement that came from my grandfather many many years ago (he has been gone for some forty years now) --- He used to say that---
A man chases a woman until SHE catches HIM !!!!
2007-01-20 18:48:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Once upon a time it was the exception and not the rule in American culture.
Nowadays it's the reverse, pre-marital sex seems to be the rule not the exception.
I don't recommend pre-marital sex though since the infant won't have the benefit of two parents in a permanent, legal relationship to provide and care for it.
The USA has become the USSR with raising and caring for babies when it's the parents who should be raising and caring for their own children.
If the guy really cares about you he won't pressure you into having sex just so that he can dump you later on and leave you pregnant and single (yes it does happen)
2007-01-20 18:41:45 · answer #2 · answered by daryavaush 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Everyone I know had sex before marriage and I did too. I'm not saying that everyone should, but good sex is important to any healthy marriage and so is chemistry in the bedroom. You won't know if you really mesh with someone until you have sex. I didn't have sex with everyone i dated but when a relationship got serious enough it was definitely the next step. If you are hesitating than do not have sex with that guy. You will definitely know when you are ready and if you have sex too soon or with the wrong guy you could end up regretting it. Wait until you are in a relationship where you know the guy is serious about you and not just looking to get laid.
2007-01-20 18:45:12 · answer #3 · answered by holtindyfan 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Just because it seems the "norm" for other people to have casual sex does not mean that you have to. Even if other girls do not care about losing their virginity does not mean that you have to not care about yours. When it comes right down to it, nice guys want nice girls who have not had mutiple sex partners. Besides, you make yourself at risk sleeping with multiple partners who have had multiple partners to contact STDs or getting pregnant. All this guy that is chasing you wants is to break you down to get you to sleep with him. He will more than likely not want a serious relationship with you afterwards, and you will be hurt. What matters is that you care enough to have self respect for yourself. If you don`t, no one else will. After all you have been reared in a conservative culture, and you will be the one who will have guilt if you choose not to follow the way your parents taught you.
2007-01-20 18:40:17 · answer #4 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is true that pre-marital sex is quite common in America. But that doesn't make it right.
2007-01-20 18:39:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
cool i know what u mean i am chinese too .......and yeah in the same situation ........i think they like it when u keep being who u are cuz its like something precious they have to cherish so don't give in until u know for sure what u want.........and in western culture "intimate encounter" before marrige is very common.
BEST OF LUCK!!!!!! :o)
2007-01-20 18:40:51 · answer #6 · answered by confused 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
yeah sooo sooo soo many people have sex before Marriage. and I am guilty of that too
2007-01-20 18:37:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Every one does it but when you ask them they will say that they love to marry a virgin girl.
So try to keep your traditions and if he loves you he will understand .
2007-01-20 18:42:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
It's a personal choice. If you don't feel right about it then don't do it. There's nothing wrong with waiting at all.
2007-01-20 18:39:11 · answer #9 · answered by Lil' Niffer 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Do what you feel is right. If your culture dictates conservatism, I would say don't do anything.
2007-01-20 18:39:14 · answer #10 · answered by TE 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋