How did u make friends ?

Question

I was just wondering how other people met some of there good friends. Im not too great at making friends with new people so I just wanted to see how other people went about it.

Answer 1

I'm 37. Looking back, the best friends I ever made in life were the kind who I encountered in day-to-day life, and who "stuck" with me over time.

I met a lot of people in high school who have remained friends for most of my life. But few of them ever hang out with me nowadays. We do keep in touch, and I consider them among my best of friends.

For example, one particularly good friend was a schoolmate of mine. We were not particularly close IN school... but after we graduated, we just sort of stayed friends... kept calling each other... kept caring about each other.

Some of my friends, I met at jobs. It is amazing what kinds of bonds can occur between people who are slaving away at the same company, for the same employer.

Some of my very best friends from childhood, teen years, AND adulthood, have been friends who began as neighbors. Something about living in close proximity to someone makes for excellent friendship sometimes. You can get to know each other better just because of your positioning on the map! And if you want to get to know your neighbors, just pick one some day, and go knock on the door, and say, "My name is _______, and I'm a neighbor of yours. I don't know a lot of people in the area, and I was just wondering if you had a few minutes to spend visiting. Try to spend that few minutes finding common ground. Exchange phone numbers. Let them know you'd like to find people who would like to [go bowling, play rummy, cook/eat Italian food, go to the movies, etc]... and ask if they might like to do that with you sometime, going dutch and each paying his/her own way. Just remember that some people are very busy, and they may not HAVE time to spend on leisure activities at the moment. So don't be offended if they aren't able to befriend you. Just enjoy the time you do get to spend with them.

If one neighbor fails you, move on to another neighbor. You will eventually meet people with similar interests to you.

Church is another good place. If you are a churchgoer, you can meet lots of good friends who already believe in the same things you do, by looking around at church and trying to meet people who share similar interests with you. And if you are not a churchgoer, consider going sometime and checking out the scene. In fact, if you are NOT currently a churchgoer, you have an automatic conversation-starter in your arsenal: Shake hands with a stranger before the actual church hour begins, and say something like... "Hi, my name is ________, and I'm brand new at this church. I'm looking to meet some people with similar interests, and learn more about what your church stands for. Do you have a few minutes to chat after church?" There you are.

There are other places to meet friends... at the gym, at sports events, while doing hobbies (or while shopping for hobby materials)... in line at the grocery store which is near your house (another place to meet possible neighbors... if you get stuck in line... speak to the person in front of you or behind you, strike up a conversation if you can, even if only to comment about something trivial like the weather, and introduce yourself.)

I think the more you get to know yourself, the better experience you will have with friend-making. If you know you hate a particular thing, then you can avoid that like the plague. For instance, if you can not stand to go bowling, you will probably tend to avoid friends who bowl 18 hours per day. If the smell of smoke makes you sick, you might want to choose non-smoking friends, or at least choose smoking friends who are willing to stand outside in 20-degree weather so as not to make you sick.

Online is a place I have met some great friends. (If you like to play cards, you can have great fun meeting people at Yahoo! Games, for example. I sure have.) But the trouble is, they usually don't live nearby me. So I think it is important to limit the online friendships, and focus on building "real live" friendships offline more so than the online kind. Don't rule out the possibility of a good friendship happening online. But the friendships with people offline, who are in closer proximity to you, are the best kind and the kind that will be there even when your computer breaks down.

Oh, by the way... I met a few great friends at unusual places like the library!! We were just reading books, and in one case, researching family history at the same section... and struck up conversations... exchanged phone numbers... and managed to remain friends afterwards. I met a few friends while waiting at a medical doctor's office.

To me, a good friend is someone who will (a) be there if I really need them, (b) go away when I really need them to go away, and (c) be willing to spend time having fun together from time to time. Those are my three criteria in a friendship. I am a bit weird. I am saying all that to say this... that each friend you make will have their own unique personality. Part of the fun of building friendships is that you get to learn all the neat uniqueness of each person you get to know better. It can be frustrating though, when the other person has different expectations than you do.

So spend some time writing down YOUR main criteria for a friendship to meet... and then be up front with new friends you make... I find myself saying early on in a friendship: "Yeah, you know, I don't have a whole lot of time for building friendships due to the fact that I need a lot of time for my college studies. But I WOULD like someone to go bowling with once a month. Do you like to bowl?" Get in the habit of being honest with new friends you meet, about your expectations for the friendship. And enjoy the process of getting to know folks.

I hope this helps. Know this, that at some point, if you practice this fine art of friendship-building enough... you will find yourself in the predicament of having way too many friends and not enough time for all of them. So instead of concentrating on building a mass quantity of friendships... focus on building three or four great QUALITY friendships. And hopefully, over your lifetime, you will amass tens and hundreds of them. All my best to you!

Answer 2

God gave us two ears and one mouth so we need to listen twice as much as we talk first of all. Always try to think about the other person first, don't interrupt when they are talking, listen carefully to things they are into and remember things important to them, show that you are trustworthy (don't gossip with them about other people or they'll think you do it behind their back too, don't share secrets they tell you), send them a card or a gift for birthday's, holidays etc. , be easy going, don't ever judge them if they make mistakes, don't give your opinions unless asked, Be a shoulder for them when they are going through hard times, don't say I I I I, say you you you you, Compromise on things to do (they see the movie they want a few times and then you ask for a turn, don't be a stubborn or bossy person...let people be who they are and love them for it...find the good in everyone and let them know where you found it...everyone loves to be told why you like them....the golden rule "do to others what you would want done to you."

Answer 3

Start by making friends with yourself. Learn to love, honor and accept yourself just as you are. You are truly the best friend you will ever have. When you can feel comfortable with yourself, then you will find others will be attracted to you. Most of us have trouble living with ourselves. Once we can master that, or come close to it, we learn that what others do or think really isn't that important. When you get there, others will come to you. Try it. And, good luck.

Answer 4

You don't really make friends but become friends.It starts sometimes by helping a person,sharing classes or jobs or by simply saying "Hi". Over time you will share things that you have in common, then your friends, If there's nothing in common then you'll go separate ways. And the process starts over. You'll have few friend but many acquaintances.

Answer 5

for me its possesing a good hygiene specially good dental hygiene,,,,
making friends usually starts from a simple smile...
so you must have nice teeth and smile so everyone would like to meet you...
other than this you must also be respectful and generous because everyone wants a friend who respects them and give their best for the profit of their friendship

Answer 6

why do u want friends from chennai only cant make all types of friends

Answer 7

You meet through friends :)

Answer 8

Just get to know them better then you would wit normal people.

Answer 9

school and through other friends.

Answer 10

my best friend and i have been friends since preschool

Answer 11

meeting at something that we both like:

Sports
Computers
Cars
etc.
etc.