I am a very busy single mother who works full time plus goes to school full time. My kids are good kids but could use some more structuresuch as cleaning up after themselves My boyfriend thinks they could use A LOT of help in regards to disaplin, rules, responsibilities. We have had a few fights over it. I can understand his point of view because he came from a home where things were in order. I came from a home where.everyone is laid back..not a lot of rules and responsibilities and hey.. I turned out ok. He has yelled at my kids a couple of time for them getting wild or fighting. We fought over this and broke up. Then talked about it, he apologized and we got back together. He said he would not ever yell at them again.He has made a few coments to me such as they cant help it they were never taught any better.This hurts my feelings but he isn’t meaning to hurt me when he says it. Last week, he left when I really needed his help with something. I felt like he didn’t have my back.With this and the other stuff, I broke up with him. Am I expecting too much out of this man who is not used to being around kids?
2007-01-20 17:46:36 · 9 answers · asked by justme 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm not sure how to help you??? What are you expecting?I'm not sure if you wrote what you wanted from him? Honestly, I think this is a problem for all couples. There are different points of view when raising kids. Truthfully I think you should sit down and think about how your kids act. If you truly think they are fine as they are. You have to stand your ground. If you see he may be right on some points why not make a change. Sometimes it's easier to just let kids be kids. There are times when I'm too tired to enforce rule after rule. Still if he's the one for you it may be worth changing things a bit. I wish I could help, I feel for you. If you can repost with more info.
2007-01-20 18:10:50 · answer #1 · answered by quel772o 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you didn't share any information about your childrens' biological father, he, at minimum should be supplying financial support for your children. back to topic: maybe you are rushing things. possibly you are expecting him to fill the father role, your childrens' 'father' can't or won't fulfill, it is hard to know from two paragraphs...anyway, I think you do need to take a step back, remember these are not his children and he doesn't, from your say so, have much experience with children, so you might want to cut him some slack...the on and off again nature of the relationship doesn't bode well, if you were married, what makes you think that would change anything if you can't learn to resolve issues without breaking up everytime? If you can afford it, I would strongly recommend some couples' counseling. If he won't go, you go....it might help you figure out the answer to this question, which really needs to come from you anyway...good luck!
2007-01-20 18:06:01 · answer #2 · answered by kewtber 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are as entitled to attention and consideration as he. Where is it written that you can't have your opinions and stick to them? They are your kids. You feel comfortable with the way you were raised and are trying to raise your kids the same way. Do you feel comfortable with your kids? If so, remember, you have to live with them until they move out of the nest (or are driven out by some jerk you decide to marry). Your kids and their relationship with your boyfriend are just as important as your relationship with your boyfriend. If he loves you but isn't willing to accept your kids the way they are, then how is he going to deal with them if you get married? this is important. Don't hook up with some guy who may ring your chimes but doesn't get along with the kids. Good luck.
2007-01-20 17:53:23 · answer #3 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, he just needed time to adjust. what he has for the kids was tough love. he loved them and wanted them to grow up as he did - with discipline and rules. but he has to understand that they are just kids and need some leniency. if he cannot understand that fact, then he is not the right man for your kids. if you can try to work it out because that is how my dad is, he is really strict and my mom is just a bit more lenient.
he says things really harsh but his intentions are good, you know? i say give it a try, tell your kids that he just wants the best for them and that they should try to understand that.
hope everything turns out well
2007-01-20 17:51:33 · answer #4 · answered by Ratchet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
imo, i dont think he should be telling your kids what to do and what not to do. He is your bf, not your husband. I could see his point of view if theyre doing something where they will get hurt or whatever, but not just anything.
2007-01-20 17:51:44 · answer #5 · answered by wheelsup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think about whether or not this is "the guy." if not, you are simply lying to yourself, and you need to move on.
go to a counselor. they help. they are a good middle party.
2007-01-20 17:52:56 · answer #6 · answered by cornercuttin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he should respect the way you raise you kids and help you with it.
2007-01-20 17:50:50 · answer #7 · answered by Waythere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he 's not the father so say bye bye to him.. where the dad or is he a loser too? my ex wife boy friend knows he not the dad Iam and It my kid....go to p;anned parent hood to start and talk with them
2007-01-20 17:53:30 · answer #8 · answered by godoguy2001 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no your not, you don't have time for that maake it clear...
2007-01-20 17:50:52 · answer #9 · answered by harmonieclark 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋