What should we pay for when it comes to the majority of our wedding party being from out of state? My fiance and I are trying to keep the costs to a minimum because we're paying for pretty much everything ourselves, and money is tight. Due to the time we want to have the wedding, we had to plan it for my "hometown" area which is another state. We really want our closest friends to be a part of the wedding, but we're afraid of the costs. Would it be out of line to ask them if they could pay for the majority of their stuff, with us throwing in gas money and a night in a hotel?
My fiance graduated last may, and I will be graduating this may, so we're the typical "broke college" kids.
2007-01-20 17:32:28 · 14 answers · asked by the future mrs 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
So from what i've seen so far, everyone is suggesting to not pay for anything...if we tell everyone that now, should it be a problem?
2007-01-23 10:01:11 · update #1
You should have your wedding where you want. Invite who you want. If they accept- travel is on them.
If you worry about the cost for them- change the location.
I am in Chicago an traveled to texas for my friends wedding. That is what friends do.
2007-01-20 17:37:54 · answer #1 · answered by Mommyk232 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tend to agree with most of these answers. You are not obligated to pay for any of the expenses BUT keep the cost at a dollar amount your freinds can live with. My daughter was asked to be in a wedding and just the expenses of her dress, shoes and travel was close to 1500.00 She put alot of thought into that and eventually told the friend she didn't feel she could afford that. The bride to be wanted all bridesmaids there 1 week ahead of time to attend showers and teas. I felt the mother of the bride should offer her home or they should make arrangements for accomodations for the wedding party. An additional week of hotel expenses was way out of line, in my book. Keep your costs at a reasonable amount and tell these people early enough they can save a little each month.
2007-01-27 06:48:50 · answer #2 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When your wedding party agreed to be in your wedding they also agreed to pay for their own stuff...travel and attire. If you nicely ask them if that is what there plan is and just explain yourself since they are you good friends they should understand if not know already!! You could as a nice gesture call the hotel and ask if they do specials on out of town wedding party guests?? Make sure to ask...they maybe able to help you out. It would be nice to offer some gas money if they are going to drive.
Best of luck! Congrates to both of you on your graduations and up coming wedding!
2007-01-27 09:25:43 · answer #3 · answered by Sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same boat but the pluss was my friends know we are broke. We have told them that the cost is theirs and if we found out we could help we would. To make this dissicon easier we are trying to lower their cost by having the wedding party stay with us (only 3 guys 2 girls so far) we are also giving the brides maid and matron of honor the choice in thier dress I have to approve though and have a few restrictions like length and color. Just make sure they know that they have to pay from the start.
2007-01-27 14:14:18 · answer #4 · answered by lilebsmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters when is your wedding date? I feel as long as you give them enough time to get their money straight they shouldn't have a problem with paying for their stuff. I'm getting married in Jun 08 the bridal party will be responsible for their dresses and suits as well as their lodging and travel expense. I will get a group rate at the Howard Johnson and Marriott but they are totally on their own but they have already expected to pay for their things when I announced the wedding . So don't stress yourself out about who's paying now if you guys had yor parents paying for everything then that would be a different story but this is the 20th century and if they are true friends and love you guys then they'll do it b/c they want to be apart of your special day. Just think I have friends and bestmen and groosmen coming from Nigeria,London and Malaysia coming to the US to be apart of my wedding and they are paying their part. The only person I'm paying for is my mother-in-la and sister-in-law coming from Nigeria. So I wish you louck you will need but don't stress out you'll have more then enough time for that.
2007-01-25 17:41:38 · answer #5 · answered by keisha a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not obligated to pay for certain things. If the place you are having the wedding has hotel accomedations then you are set. (just block out some rooms for when you are getting married) But if not, you should have some kind of shuttle service to where the are staying and the Cermony/Reception site. That way you won't have to worry whether or not someone gets lost or even drinks too much.
2007-01-27 08:06:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would never suggest you pay for their accomodations, but what you can do to help is contact a local reputable hotel and ask for a group rate. Youwill need a minimum number of rooms to apply (usually 10 or more) but this will take some of the worries of the where and how much away from your guests. The hotel will supply a rate/cut off date (must book by date) and booking code for your friends to call in for.
2007-01-20 17:44:17 · answer #7 · answered by Cherry_Blossom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wedding was in Alaska and we're all from Texas! You can imagine the costs. One of our groomsmen was supposed to come from Korea and he planned to pay for it himself (the airline he booked his ticket with went out of business so he couldn't come!). The only people we paid for was the pastor because it was important to us to have that specific pastor do our ceremony. We paid for his flight, hotel, and his fee. Other than that, everyone else paid for everything themselves. It is a good idea to get a group rate at somewhere affordable but clean.
If not many of your friends can make it, do another reception when you get back with a slideshow of the wedding. We had a Texas reception when we got back for all of our college friends to attend and it was a blast. We got to just wear jeans and look at pictures all day. :)
2007-01-22 06:35:40 · answer #8 · answered by hotdoggiegirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm going through the same myself...all my wedding party is out of state. I talked to each and everyone of them and they are totally cool with it..they understand that a wedding is not a cheap thing to pull off nowdays and each and every one of them still wants to be part of my huge day. I'm paying for the hotel and food while they are here...everything else they all are willing to pay for themselves
2007-01-27 06:24:54 · answer #9 · answered by Hailey B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been in 2 out of state weddings and payed for all my own expenses. we did not expect things to be payed for. maybe some of your guests could ride together or share rooms to help with the cost. if they are your friends they know you are not in the position to pay their expenses. Congratulations!
2007-01-28 08:38:36 · answer #10 · answered by R L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋