Help I have a 16yr son who wont listen does not go to school nor will he get a job?

Question

He just sits on the computer day in day out. Asks if he can go out I tell him no its late and he sits and argues and argues then gets mad. If I do not have bus fare for him he gets madder then says well I am going out anyway and leaves. He was just missing for 6 days got home last night brought by the police. Help

Answer 1

Something happened! Something very important to him, happened! It is up to you to figure out what it is but then he may want to keep it a secret from you. Even if you figure it out don't let him know. Go to the school counselor and ask them if they know anything personal about your son so that you will see through to his life on his level. Did a girl dump him? Did someone he feels inferior to get the girl he thought he wanted or had or could get? Did Dad leave? Did Dad's family forget about him? No matter how sorry a kids dad is they need to see a hero in their Dad somewhere and some way. You need to help him find the hero in his Dad. You need to help him find the hero in your himself. Pull out baby pictures and tell him the story of his youth. Your love for him. Your dreams for him. Remember, your eyes use to light up when he walked into a room as a toddler. Let your eye's light up again when we walks into the room. Smile when you see him. Tell him he is the best thing that ever happned to you. Tell him you feel like a failure as a Mother. Tell him how you feel. Test his sympathy level. That is why guys fall into girls like they do. Tell him he is somebody special. Ask him if he wants to be homeschooled. Find out the rules for your state. Some states really have no rules. Give him some curriculum (get for free from a homeschooling Mom) who will help you out and leave it in his room. Take him to take his GED if possible. Don't become his enemy too. He loves you with even though you can't see it. Call him handsome! (he does not feel that way-he's got zits!) Call him geneous and not smartbutt! Call him positive words of encouragment. Ask him what his dreams are and ask him if he knows how you can help him accomplish them. Set down on the computer and research his dreams and goals together. Be a partner to his dreams. If he does not have any, help him come up with something. Hang in there Mom!!!

Answer 2

wow, that sounds A LOT like how my younger brother was for a while. He had serious mental issues it turns out though. However, he was/is spoiled rotten to the point where what my mother said didnt make the bit of difference to him, he just did as he pleased and would cuss out my mom and skip school. I've realised that this severe "spoiled-ness" starts at an early age and once the child is a teen, theres no going back unless you really, really set boundries. If you are single mom its worse. Long story short, my brother ended up kicking my mom in the stomache during an argument and now he lives w/ dad who is a stronger parent, I suppose and sets boundries. My brother may have mental issues but I never thought that was a good enough excuse for him to be as direspectful as he was. He takes meds for his "illnesses" but he respects my father and his home. My mom didnt call the police when my brother kicked her, I SO would have. Your son may have mental illnesses also..have you looked into psych. evaluations?

Answer 3

Every time he refuses to go to school call the police. It's against the law for him to be out of school. Take him to school and make sure he goes onto campus. Talk with the school personnel and let them know what you are trying to accomplish. Same with the police, they can help you to keep tabs on him and the police will take appropriate measures. You have to remember that you are the parent and he is the child. It's your job to keep him safe and help him follow the rules of society. If he refuses to do so he must suffer the consequences, and you shouldn't feel bad. He if gets caught out of school you could be liable. You need to take a firm but loving stand with this child and let him know you love him but you are the boss.

Answer 4

OOooh, I know you must be at your wits end. Working for the Corrections Dept. I have learned from my under age offenders what they need and don't know what they are looking for is structure. They need something to really do and be praised for it. If school iis boring for him find out what excites him and how he can accomplish that, but let him know that without schooling or training he'll never succeed. Discipline with love, express to him how you feel about what he's doing and tell him you care (don't ever tell him you're disappointed). If all else fails sign him up for the Marines. LOL

Answer 5

Take the computer, tv, games away. If he try to leave call the police. You can petition the court to get him in to some type of program. Do some research about your area and see what type of programs are out there. Good luck.

Answer 6

nicely I in no way pass out while i replaced into sixteen. Now i'm 21 and that i nevertheless fairly pass out with my acquaintances. I also have a large time with them, a no longer something to be embarrassed the two I in basic terms like staying at residing house, and that i'm a satisfied, in a large courting with my boyfriend of three years and that i've got large scores at school. no longer each and every sixteen 365 days previous youngster decide for to pass out. If he in no way relatively pass out in the previous of this (and by using in no way I recommend after he hit 13/14) he's probable large. and the greater you push him (whether you have large intentions) will purely make him to decide for to stay residing house greater If this habit initiate a pair of month it must be something extreme like melancholy, being bully, female issues, there is relatively some opportunities. the wonderful is refer to him (or maybe his dad to speak to him). PD: No no person likes to pass to the dentist or college, it relatively is definitely general!

Answer 7

Put him in counseling. Of course he will hate it and maybe shape up on his own.....I'd put a password on the computer so he can't use it.... another option if it is really bad is to put him in military school. Before I get blasted for saying that, my husband was a rotten teenager, his mother put him in military school and he turned out to be an educated, well rounded person....good luck....

Answer 8

Poor YOU and poor boy. This is a tough one. It is apparent that he is calling out for help in a big way. If you can afford counseling, take him. If not, I'd say, pack his bags, give him a big huge hug and tell him to leave.

mb

Answer 9

like on a&e intervention. give him the ultimatum : either he gets a job and goes to school or he will have no place to live and he will have to manage on his own with out your support. he will learn with his back against the wall. but be strong it will be painful but you will be saving his life, and inturn be a good mother.

Answer 10

Just curious; when he was a kid did he get corporal discipline (ie spankings)?


EDIT: And to the person who said it's against the law to be out of school. No it's not, he's 16; in some states you can even drop out at 15 if you want.