Okay so about a year ago, I introduced two of my friends to each other (male and female) and they hit it off and started a relationship. The guy with me was never cute or romantic or anything so I wasn't sure how it'd work out but things went great for about 2-3 months. Then my friend thinks she might be pregnant with his kid and he flips out due to his own issues and ends it with her. She's devasted, can't understand why they broke up, etc and for a year she's talked on and off with him. Recently, they've been talking more and more and she believes he's being sincere and misses her and she's eating what he says right up. She asks me what I think and I tell her but it goes in one ear and out the other so what can I do to show her that regardless of how he's acting now, he deserves a dose of his medicine and get her to listen and understand it? Am I wrong if she comes to ask me for advice to give her how I feel?
2007-01-20 17:20:47 · 5 answers · asked by the_wicked_itch_of_the_west 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If she asks you for advice, you should be very up front with her about how you feel. Since he is your friend too, maybe you should talk to him about what is going on. Maybe he has grown up and understands what he lost. People can change. Maybe he has dealt with his issues. A real friend is going to tell you how they see things regardless of whether they think it will be hurtful or not. Just try to be as gentle with her feelings as you can.
2007-01-20 17:27:19 · answer #1 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, she asked you what you thought and you told her. It's not like you're pushing it on her. The best thing you can do is sit back and let her get dumped by this guy again. I know that sounds harsh but I can tell you, when you're bound and determined to get back with someone, it doesn't matter what anyone on the planet tells you. You won't see reality and all the bad stuff that he did will just be reasoned away. You just don't listen because you want it to work out and you want it to be right even though it's not. The only thing you can do right now is be supportive and continue to tell her your opinion when and if she asks. The truth will come out soon enough. She's going to have to learn that lesson herself because that's what she wants to do. When it falls apart, be there for her and don't say "I told ya so!", she'll already know what you're thinking anyway. Good luck and just do your best to be supportive and a good friend.
2007-01-21 01:29:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be hopeless as she sounds pretty hooked on this guy. And since you're a friend of them both, she may shoot him straight about what your advise to her was instead of being loyal of you. It sounds like whatever you tell her will not faze her or penetrate her mind anyway....so I'd suggest you let things develop between them without getting more involved. I know it's hard watching a girlfriend get that sucked in, but you can't stop her from making her own mistakes. Instead, have faith that she will exercise good judgment (although in view of the pregnancy scare that may not happen). I just think you're too close to the situation to render aid w/o sacrificing yourself.
2007-01-21 01:28:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
youre not wrong for trying to show her hes a dog...but honestly even though she asks for your advise...hearing that hes a dog is something she doesnt want to hear and she wont listen anyways.so many people tried to talk me into leaving my losing as$ ex...but no matter what anyone said I didnt leave until i was actually REALLY fed up. So sometimes good advise is bad advise and really a waste of time.
2007-01-21 01:35:40 · answer #4 · answered by Tiffany C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people have to learn the hard way. You've told her how you felt, now its up to her to make her own decisions.
2007-01-21 01:25:26 · answer #5 · answered by Mom of Three 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋