when my 3 year old son's dad is home from work my son is an angel, but when my partner is at work my son has it over me, he acts silly, he tells me off like he is the boss, and he wont take my instructions siriouse, please any advice would be great,
no smart *** comments please i just need a solution
2007-01-20 17:14:40 · 4 answers · asked by eolhc860 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Strange as it sounds, this behavior is a good sign, kindof. This means that your son is comfortable with you and knows that you will love him no matter how bad he behaves. I hope that makes you feel a little better, now what can we do to fix it.
3-yr-olds are trying to grow up and redefine their existence going from a bystander in their lives to a leading role, this is REALLY tough on parents. Your son wants to know how much power he has over himself, his life and you. Your job is to give him as much control and power over himself and his life as he can handle and give him the support he needs by keeping control of what he can't handle. It's easier to say then to do though. The first thing to do is give him the feeling of control by establishing a semi-strict routine. Not necessarily the numeric time of day (bedtime should be very stable) but the order of events. This allows him the freedom to move through the day without you having to tell him what to do next.
Acting silly is every child's right, act silly too. When it is time to get serious, get serious but expect him to take at least 20 minutes to go from silly to serious.
As for not listening to instructions (or anything else), change your tone. No one like to be commanded, help him see the choices in a task and the steps, but don't command unless it is an emergency. Instead of "Please get your shoes on." which is perfectly polite, try saying, "Timmy, can you help me find your shoes? Where did we put those?" or "Which shoe are you going to put on first?" Everyday tasks that he fights or makes you continually prompt him through are best dealt with by taking pictures of him doing each step and putting them on a poster for him (ie him getting his undies on, then his socks, then his pants, then his shirt, finally his shoes etc). That way, he can be in charge of doing it. Another hint, if you write the tasks in words underneath the pictures, you build reading skills.
On a REALLY bad day, try sticking up colors, shapes or "Blues Clues"-type symbols to lead him through a task or "adventure". Mary Poppins made a game of cleaning, it works for everything.
Telling you off is simply unacceptable, so, if he lips off, he goes to the corner, a time out, his room, whatever works for your family. Just make sure that it is EVERY time he lips off. He can voice his opinion but it needs to be respectful and calm.
Your boy's reaction to dad is just a function of the small amount of time they get to spend together, take heart that misbehavior shows how much he loves, trusts, and depends on you. This too shall pass and someday you will wish for your lippy little boy when your young man calls you from college.
2007-01-20 17:38:38 · answer #1 · answered by Huggles-the-wise 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OOOh me toooo! It drives me nuts my son is 18 months old and terrorizes me and the dog all day when Daddys home hes sittin like a good lil boy playing with toys and I mean as soon as he hears the key hit the key hole he will stop whatever hes doing and sit on the couch or go to his toy area, but then again his dad does discipline him more and more harshly than I do cause I feel bad when he cries but now NO MERCY!! He gets a warning first, if that doesnt work he gets a pat on the butt, finally if he keeps it up I take him to his crib and let him cry it out after about 20 minutes he has a new found respect for me, even if its just for the day!!
2007-01-20 17:19:39 · answer #2 · answered by cvegas229 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately its the other way for me. My son is an angel when he is home with me alone but when his dad comes he is a terror. I wish I could help u out. But good luck!
2007-01-20 17:20:32 · answer #3 · answered by Kay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't repect you! Why? Well let's see.....you have a "baby's daddy" and a "partner". Quit dramatizing his life! Then maybe he'll quit dramatizing yours!
Yeah, I know, I'm going to get reported.....I'm sure I've hurt someone's feelings. But you know I'm right.....
2007-01-20 17:30:27 · answer #4 · answered by Honesty given here! 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋