I'm wondering what people's opinions are on this. I'm planning my wedding and my fiance and I can't decide weather or not to offer guests to certain people...for instance, two of our grandparents are widows, one of my aunts is a widow and hasn't ever dated anyone, and we both have younger cousins (ranging in age of 16 to 25 that do not have significant others). Do we still have to offer them guests? What is the polite thing to do?
2007-01-20 17:06:52 · 15 answers · asked by beckyt_82 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You only have to invite who you want. If you know that a person has a significant other then yes, by all means invite them. but for all others, then no, you only need to put their names on the invite.
There is no reason to extend a seat to a guest that may or may not show up.
2007-01-20 17:14:46 · answer #1 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You do not have to offer to have someone bring a guest unless that person is in a long term relationship. It is nice to have a guest if you know the person would be more confortable with a companion or does not know a significant number of the wedding guests.
When my daughter got married they had alot of family coming to the wedding.They invited Aunt Susie and her son Jason but did not offer for Jason to bring his girlfriend or for Aunt Susie to bring a guest. They did offer Uncle Jeff a guest because he has been dating the same woman for 4 years and they often attend family funtions as a couple.
You just kind of have to use your own judgement.
2007-01-21 01:19:17 · answer #2 · answered by debwils_4kids 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I took the time to look up what Miss Manners had to say on this matter on Mr. Smith and "guest". This is what she said.
"But the innovations that are most widely followed, even by those who resent them, are vulgar, impractical or nonsensical — and almost always expensive. Here are some that Miss Manners refuses to sanction:
That hosts must allow anyone who is single to bring along that ubiquitous person known as "And Guest." And Guest doesn't know the hosts or care about the wedding, and if left at home, would allow the person who was invited to meet someone better disposed toward the occasion."
2007-01-21 01:54:33 · answer #3 · answered by Poppet 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's completely up to you in regards to head count, since "guests" can add an additonal cost. If money is no object, give those in question the option of bringing a guest, by addressing the invitation to them personally, but allowing them a guest on the R.S.V.P card. For those couples you are inviting, it should be standard to address it to both, but the R.S.V.P situation should still apply, i.e. declining the invitation, x amount of people will be attending the wedding. Some people may not necessarily want to bring a "date," but if you have family that is widowed, they may want to bring a close friend to give them moral support. Weddings can be hard for those who have lost their own loves.
2007-01-21 02:29:52 · answer #4 · answered by piscesski 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to offer the "guest" option to anyone if you don't want to. We went the safe route and offered guest even to widows that I assumed would not bring guests. Originally we hadn't but then some of our invites lived in the same house and I felt awkward having one person being offered to bring a guest and another being denied the opportunity. We actually offered guest to everyone (except my brother lol) instead of trying to delineate who deserved to bring a guest.
2007-01-21 03:15:15 · answer #5 · answered by Laurie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone who has a significant other, you of course have to find out the person's name and invite them with the significant other.
Anyone who is truly single, without an SO-- it is perfectly legit to invite them without a spot for a date.
It's really not proper to use "and Guest" at any time. If you want to let people know they are allowed to "bring a date or a friend" you should phone them and tell them that it would be OK, or enclose a handwritten note in with their invitations that says they can bring someone.
2007-01-21 02:03:42 · answer #6 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you don't have to offer everyone a guest. Especially for older family members, I don't believe it is necessary, as your grandparents, older aunts/uncles will have plenty of family/friends to talk with throughout the day.
With that said, I would allow someone to have a guest if they are married, engaged, living together or have been dating for a long period of time. If you have two cousins and one has been dating someone seriously for 2 years, then they should be allowed to bring that person. If you have another cousin, who recently began dating someone 2 months ago, that person really doesn't need to bring a guest.
2007-01-21 01:35:56 · answer #7 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If its possible I would offer them the choice of bringing a guest. For some single people its just more comfortable to be able to bring a friend or whomever. If it is someone who choses to come they'll just reply as "1". I just think it you are able to offer the optionit would be nice....if it comes down to having too many people then its you might not be able to do that and then again as the bride and groom thats your right too.
2007-01-21 13:50:11 · answer #8 · answered by Shari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm well if you are asking everyone to bring a guest then I would give them the option anyway.. you dont want them to feel left out if they find out that you didnt give them the opportunity to bring a guest - they would probably be very offended.
If however you are not asking people to bring a guest except people you know have partners then that is ok.
2007-01-21 01:17:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i have to warn you I'm not an expert on wedding etiquette but i think if they are under 18 they shouldn't be invited with guest and with the others i would just talk to them and see if they wanted to bring a guest. i feel like it might make them feel bad being invited with guest and then having no one to bring. they might feel like they have to go run and find a date really fast
2007-01-21 01:15:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋