We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training bra contraption the boys in school will snap until we have calluses on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage is having sex for the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils, leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John
Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby. Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole, and we pee our pants every time we sneeze.
When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle of the mall, and we'll waddle with our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to the ER.
Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hear-me-roar. Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10 ) good pushes," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the jerk (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 lb. bowling ball through a keyhole
After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines. Then the teen years. Need I say more?
The kids are almost grown now, and we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our mid-30's to early 40's while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.
Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take the HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat "like a hog in July," wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...
Send this to seven bright women (and those all too few bright men) you know and make their day!!! Or at least make them laugh a little...
Now I love being a woman, but "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex?" Yeah right. Bite me.
2007-01-20 16:38:08 · 11 answers · asked by onearkansasmommy 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
LOL!
"Women are the "weaker sex?" Yeah right. Bite me."
Best quote ever.
2007-01-20 16:47:26 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't take a woman to know that there's really nothing funny about it, Brian. Why is it in this section? Your way of saying that some of us do understand? Some of us do, ladies -- some of us do.
2016-03-29 07:05:07 · answer #2 · answered by Kera 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very true indeed although i did not find a question so i could not answer it.
2007-01-20 16:47:31 · answer #3 · answered by ashlee 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I don't think the world is going to feel sorry for you just because you're a woman, if pity's what you're after.
2007-01-20 16:51:47 · answer #4 · answered by seann212 3 · 2⤊ 5⤋
The best quote ever! Why do men, who go through NOTHING, dominate EVERYHING?!
2007-01-20 17:09:36 · answer #5 · answered by **** 2 · 6⤊ 3⤋
if you want to ***** go to another site or page , this one is for fun and light hearted humor not for some menopausal witch to ruin every ones fun. that's life, face facts
2007-01-20 16:58:42 · answer #6 · answered by mo the man 2 · 2⤊ 6⤋
I really feel sorry for you bite me to
2007-01-20 18:53:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 6⤋
Lol, so true!
2007-01-20 17:11:46 · answer #8 · answered by lostinabook24 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
true
2007-01-20 16:53:22 · answer #9 · answered by harleydavidson218 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Can you shorten that please , Too long to read,
my eyes are not as long as that.
2007-01-20 16:52:49 · answer #10 · answered by JUSS 4 · 1⤊ 7⤋