My mother smokes at least 2 cartons of ciggs a day, she is also verbally abusive towards me, making it extremely difficult for me to talk to her, it also crosses out the whole "I want you to be there when I graduate" thing out the window, or any other "I love you and want you to be there" things b/c she hates me and would never do anything for me anyways.
I have tried talking to her but it either ends up w/ my crying b/c she called me a worthless b*tch, or she slapped me, and then she sits at the computer smoking again.
I have been having trouble breating, and whenever I have a problem with breathing (Coughing, choking, gagging), around her, she yells at me.
How can I get her to quit?
I have tried stealing her ciggs, telling her about how I feel, I have tried nearly EVERYTHING!!
My mom is plain mean, and something that invloves sympathy would never work. How can I make her quit!?
2007-01-20 16:37:55 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Other - Health
Dad's dead.
2007-01-20 16:56:15 · update #1
I was abused too and it's never, ever okay.
If she is hitting you, you need to find another place to live. Depending on how old you are, you need to see if you can become an Emancipated Adult. You can go to your local legal aid center and ask what the requirements for this are where you live. I know you have to prove you can support yourself. Legal Aid will advice you for free. They can also tell you what options there are for you in your area and if they feel you are being abused, they will call child protective services and have you removed from your home and into foster care.
Some foster care is good, some bad, if you get in a bad home, demand they remove you, don't take being in a bad one or they'll leave you there.
If you are younger then 17, then you need to consider calling child welfare on her for the abuse and demanding they put you in foster care with a non-smoker. If you are having problems breathing, you may have asthma.
YOU CANNOT MAKE HER QUIT! NO ONE CAN MAKE A SMOKER QUIT. If she knows you are coughing, choking and gagging and that isn't enough for her to at least go out side to smoke, then she really is thinking only of what she needs. I'm sorry to hear that.
You deserve to be in a loving, supportive home. Do you have a friend whose family would allow you to come live with them? If you do a legal aid attorney may help make that possible for you if you can prove she is verbally abusive and smokes around you even knowing it makes you sick.
You'd have to prove she's an unfit mother. Do you know someone with a video camera, camcorder, that you could hide in the common area of your home and record her over several days, where you can show how she treats you. Because it is your word against her's you'll need proof. If you don't have access to a camcorder, then even a pocket size audio tape recorder, that you can have in your pocket to click on to record how she talks to you, and if she hits you they can hear it on the tape.
Never believe you are a worthless-B**** as she calls you. I also want to tell you that most abused people pass on the abuse, because they do not work to be different. It's easy to say you won't be like her. But you actively have to learn how to talk different then her all the time. How to deal with anger better then her. To many people who have been abused, insist they will never abuse their own children, but they do not learn the skills needed to make sure they can be a better husband, wife, partner and parent. It takes learning skills you have not seen in your home or learned in the home you are now in.
I'm sorry again how she is treating you!
Go to legal aid, ask for help anywhere, you don't deserve to continue to live in a home where you are being abused!
GOOD LUCK, my prayers are with you!
2007-01-20 17:01:17 · answer #1 · answered by Mountain Bear 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow. This makes me really sad and concerned for you! First of all, there is nothing you can do to make her quit smoking. You can tell her how you feel all you want to but if she is not capable of playing the role of the adult and seeing how her behavior effects you she does not deserve to be your parent. She is acting very irresponsibly and childish. I commend you for trying to help her quit...it is a very bad habit. She must not care that much about herself or you. If she did she would quit. I say that you give up on trying to make her quit. I would try to spend as little time around her as possible. Maybe find a really caring friend who you can spend time with. Someone who values you, treats you with respect, and listens to your needs. You are not a worthless person; you don't have to put up with being slapped and treated the way your mom treats you. You can maybe set up some kind of negotiation with her. Say you won't do ______ (whatever that may be is up to you)...until she quits! Good luck. Keep your head up. Find someone who loves you and makes you feel worthy! You deserve much better.
2007-01-20 16:47:12 · answer #2 · answered by katalina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call child services ASAP, if you can't do it, get someone to do it. Friends parent, teacher, pastor there are people who will help you! Just don't up and run away there are better ways to deal with this. It will either make her stop and do better or get you into a better place so you can excel in your life!!! No one deserves all that!!! Dont' steal her ciggs, that will only get you in more trouble. Jsu stay away from the smoke as best as you can. Try hanging your clothes outside on the porch or line it will keep them from smelling like ciggs. Wash your hair in the morning dry it but keep a towel on till you leave so it won't stink up your hair so bad. Just do what you can for yourself and stay away from her you really need to have Child services do this for you. She is not getting any better...............
2007-01-20 16:40:52 · answer #3 · answered by char__c is a good cooker 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Second hand smoke is deadly. If she doesn't give a damn about your health, the health of her daughter, then she doesn't deserve to be around you. I would call Child Protective Services, and get placed in a more HEALTHY environment. Doesn't mean you stop loving your mom, but you have to consider your health FIRST. Like dad says, good health is PRICELESS!!! You can still maintain a relationship w/your mom, but at least you will be living in a HEALTHIER place, both physically, mentally, and emotionally.
2007-01-20 16:49:12 · answer #4 · answered by zoomat4580 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You cannot make someone quit smoking if they don't want to. There is absolutely nothing you can do about her smoking so your best bet is to consider asking a friend if you can stay at his house or even live there since it is more than you can take.
2007-01-20 16:44:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you find out, tell me. My dad had a stroke (because of smoking) and is now confined to a wheelchair with lost use of his left hand. The minute he came home from a three month hospital stay he started smoking again. Nothing's worked thus far.
2016-03-14 08:57:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I smoke a lot too, so I can tell you for sure, no one and nothing will make me stop. If you really like it, then you dont care what others say or what it does to your body and health.
About her being mean, thats true you should call child protection services.
2007-01-20 16:43:48 · answer #7 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say this
you cant get her to stop
she will stop when shes ready to
I smoke and i wish i could quit
and you don't want to call c.p.s
they may take you and put you in a Foster home then what will you do then
2007-01-20 16:54:50 · answer #8 · answered by jeff b 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She isn't going to quit, it doesn't sound good. Is the relationship so bad that you could consider going to live with another, non-smoking relative?
2007-01-20 16:43:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Report her to Child Protective Services.
2007-01-20 16:40:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋