My boyfriend and I have been together for two months... and all was great until this week. He used to send me long, sweet emails every day and call me on nights when he didn't have too much homework, but now the emails are short and he doesn't call anymore. He says he's busy, or hanging out w/the guys, but I can't help feeling like something is wrong. We both had a stressful week with school and weren't in the best of moods, but is that all it is? He has told me before that he would NEVER cheat, because we've both been cheated on and know how much it hurts, and I know he wasn't lying. But he hasn't been the most considerate lately - when he calls during the day he doesn't see that I'm upset we don't talk longer than five minutes, but in person he is just as passionate as ever with kissing, etc. I'm afraid our relationship is going to go all physical. Can someone tell me what's going on in his head?? I don't want to break up w/him... I care about him so much... am I overreacting or not?
2007-01-20 16:20:53 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's 17... and he is definitely not married.
2007-01-20 16:26:01 · update #1
We haven't had sex!!! We're both staying virgins until marriage, all we've done is kissing...
2007-01-20 16:29:15 · update #2
I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year. He was like this over Christmas break. But then again, he was working A LOT. Our calls only lasted a few minutes, he wouldn't have the chance to call everyday, he'd seem distracted when I did call him, etc. It got to the point where I couldn't stand it anymore and I had to tell him how I felt. That I know he's busy and I've been MORE than understanding and patient. But it has just come to the point where I felt like he was going to break up with me by his actions. He said he was just really busy. Well, he wasn't nearly as bad after that.
Just let him know how you feel. If he really cares about you, he will consider your feelings and change something. You also still have to be understanding too. Relationships are all about compromising.
And good for you for waiting till marriage to have sex.
I am doing the same thing! : }
2007-01-20 16:28:38 · answer #1 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow...I am sorry to tell you this, but he has already moved on physically and emotionally to someone else. His goal was to make you feel secure, get you physically where he wanted, and move on. You are being victimized by the three Fs. What do the three Fs mean? First they FIND you. Then they F$%# you. In the end they FLEE. One of my "best" male friends told me about this. He practised it regularly. It became his MO. That is why he is over 30, has 3 baby's mammas and 5 kids.
This is typical behavior for men under the age of 35. As much as it will hurt, it's best that you ask him to come clean. It is better that he tell you then you find out the hard way. He will eventually slip up. Players can't hide things for very long. You'd see him walking with someone else or out with that person in public.
He is not thinking with the HEAD attached to his neck. You are still young. He probably doesn't want a serious relationship right now. If he feels that you have become too involved, then he may feel smothered and use alternatives to find a way out.
Talk to him. Get the truth. Deal with the truth. If he can't look you in the eye and tell you the truth or if he stutters, he is lying. If he gets upset and goes off on you for asking, he's hiding something. There are way too many risks involved with pretending nothing is wrong. It is in your best interest to react asap. I'm sorry.
2007-01-20 16:36:04 · answer #2 · answered by NawlinsB4Real 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He did all the things you wanted him to do. Its only been 2 months if you are having doubts this soon in the relationship then you should move on. Some people are caring until they get what they want. Now if he isnt calling you and has now started taking you for granted then stop making out with him. Dont let sex be the only time you spend time with him. He wasnt to busy before.
2007-01-20 16:27:45 · answer #3 · answered by justturning40 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds so stressful! please relax the course of time will clear the cloudiness that you both are feelin' be there for each other not too clingy cuz it;s so not good. Just relax cuz if you think too hard on something happening it might just to mess with you so relax and settle down the nerves.Wait until it's been five yrs! And if things don't work out just think about what happened and next time do remember not to repeat the past just to see if it will be the same...two months, slow down it'll be okay. Listen and take in the words that are being said...calm down. he's probably just as stress as you are with everything feeling so "pressured"
2007-01-20 16:33:21 · answer #4 · answered by memjabeana 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just talk to him about it. tell him what you want and need. at least he's kissing you. my bf never kisses me for more than about a few pecks on the lips. maybe he just needs some fun with his guys. don't take it too serious. try to talk it out with him. see what happens. it's only been two months. guys always change and give less effort after a few months. i don't know. but they just do like they don't have to put any extra effort into it. hang out with your girls, don't be so available, and don't call as much. make him come after you more. and appreciate you.
2007-01-20 16:31:01 · answer #5 · answered by Mel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he wants to move on.
PS good for the both of you that you want to remain a virgin, you have my respect and a lot of other peoples. At least you will never feel like you have been used. Plus you won't have to worry about ending up with some disease that will be with you the rest of your life.
2007-01-20 16:25:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well let him kno...most guys write 1 sentence in an email and usually don't talk on the phone for more than 5 minutes..probably 2 minutes if ur lucky....he's getting bored with you...i have sorta the same desire for the emotional part...i kno how u feel..guys seem not to like to talk and want to u kno...
2007-01-20 16:27:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be just the stress with school and the like but if you have only gone out for a couple of months it could be just that he isn't ready to commit to you as much as you are to him. try to think of him as just another friend for a while and see where it goes.
2007-01-20 16:32:34 · answer #8 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are reacting just fine. You are worried that is all. Try to make him talk to you more. Ask him what is going on and if he just says im busy ask him with what. Just talk to him.
2007-01-20 16:27:02 · answer #9 · answered by Limdo T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, just ask him if he is cheating on you or maybe if he changed his mind. Better to know sooner rather than later......But than again that's just my opinion! But if your not happy than don't stay. Trust me.....
2007-01-20 16:31:09 · answer #10 · answered by cmp 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋