My ex and I broke up a few months ago, and it was messy. He's very manipulative (he's an actor- he manipulates emotions for a living). Three times while we were dating I was approached by a girl and told that he had slept with them while I was dating him. One provided a picture she shouldn't have had, one had a voice recording and the other had IMs she had saved. (I even got a call from one of their mothers!)He talked himself out of it all three times. I'm not that gullible.. he's just really good at inventing perfect excuses.
Anyway, now he's dating two girls, both of whom I know casually. One he used to make fun of behind her back. He called her T-rex (she's a big girl), and made cracks about how she was trying to eat his fraternity brothers, and about how she was worthless because she's fat. My question is- do I tell her? He's really good at getting himself out of this sort of thing, and I don't have solid proof. How do I avoid being that 'crazy ex girlfriend'?
2007-01-20 15:59:11 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I feel like I have to do something... I wasted too much of my time on him to let someone else make the same mistakes I did!
2007-01-20 15:59:41 · update #1
I'm not trying for revenge- i don't care about that. I'm trying to keep these poor girls from wasting any time on him!
2007-01-20 16:05:09 · update #2
For the record, I dumped him, he cried like a baby, and I started dating an amazing guy. I definately don't want him back.
2007-01-20 16:08:00 · update #3
Don't tell her. You should just be glad that you're free of him. The girls will learn soon enough...
2007-01-20 16:04:26 · answer #1 · answered by karespromise 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you ARE that gullible, you let him talk his way out of instances three times when you had been presented with proof of his infidelity. You knew he was an actor when he gave you the perfect excuses, so what has changed?
This happens to lots of people, I still just shake my head when I think about the lies I swallowed from my ex. We WANT to beleive them, so we don't listen to the bells and alarms going off and convince ourselves that these b@stards have all these noble qualities that they couldn't even imagine, much less achieve.
As for telling the new girls, you could mention it casually, but I don't see a point in worrying about proof, it's not like it worked with you, right? If you feel some need to 'intervene' or 'protect' these girls, then mention it casually and walk away. Chances are they won't believe you anyway - til they wise up.
But if this is just about revenge on this guy, just walk away from it, focus on positive things in your life and move on. It's not worth spending another moment of energy on this guy.
2007-01-20 16:09:59 · answer #2 · answered by heart o' gold 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As tempting as it may be to want to spill his secrets and deceptions, you've really no place to do that now. His relationship with anyone else really isn't anything you need to waste your time on. Sounds like you already spent way too much of your time on a loser and to further involve yourself in his life and relationships really just would make him think you still care. As you said, you are now dating an amazing guy--concentrate your time and emotions on him. Besides, what would telling her accomplish besides hurt ing her feelings? If anyone is going to hurt her feelings, let it be him. You said you don't have proof, so even if it's not the case EVERYONE will assume you've only spilled the beans because you still care about him and want him back. How you avoid being the "crazy ex" is to stay as far away from ex's as you can!!
2007-01-20 16:16:40 · answer #3 · answered by chrissy25 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why do you want to tell her so bad?
If you feel you really need to, get some solid evidence because as you said, he's manipulative and she might just believe him. I can see that you might want to save another girl from the pain you went thru, but I think it's more so that you want revenge on him...Not once did you mention telling the other girl he's seeing. You really should just stay out of it, but if you do decide to tell her, get proof because she's not going to take your word for it...You will just be "the crazy ex" to her.
2007-01-20 16:05:13 · answer #4 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just say something along these lines:
I know I may not be one of your best friends, and I'm in a tough predicament. I used to date [him] and have dealt with alot from him. And I dont want you to think that I'm being jealous or pety, but just watch out. I established what kind of person he is when he had cheated on me and I still believed him despite hard proof, so I won't bore you with some trivial games which I cant prove that he may or may not be playing now, but I don't want to see the same thing happen to you in the long run.
2007-01-20 16:12:53 · answer #5 · answered by Nikki Flynn 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a tricky one...you put yourself right back in your
ex boyfriends life, along with all his lies and manipulations
plus all the lives of the other girls involved. At this point
it's up to others to make their own judgements on the
credibility of this two timing Don Juan....this actually
happened to me once and I wish I'd never butted in....
it was a huge mess that took months to resolve. I
say stay away from this can of worms.
2007-01-20 16:11:58 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it. They will have to learn their lessons the hard way like you did. There is little profit in it for you to interfere. You will probably be reviled by both your X and his new victims. I'm sure you can think of a better and less stressful way to use your time - like endeavoring to get as far away from Mr. X and his harem as you can.
2007-01-20 16:07:24 · answer #7 · answered by jhartmann21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, personally, I would not butt in. This can only make things worse for you. I mean you don't want to come across as being needy, desperate, and trying to make trouble just because you are not with him anymore. Just move on and find someone who will treat you like a queen, love you, and respect your feelings and protect your dignity. And not cheat on you!
2007-01-20 16:05:55 · answer #8 · answered by SuzyBelle04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happens between your ex and his girlfriend is none of your business. You should concentrate on getting your life together and moving on. She will eventually find out that this guy is a jerk.
2007-01-20 16:06:51 · answer #9 · answered by GENE D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's see...you're trying to get back at him with revenge? That's pretty lame.
The ex has relationships. They're none of your business.
2007-01-20 16:03:03 · answer #10 · answered by Stuart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense but I don't believe you are so worried about these lastest conquests of your ex...he is your ex...be glad you learned of his lack of character before you did something stupid like marry him and/or procreate with him...it is no longer your business or concern and unless he is beating on them or threatening to murder them or something of that sort, you should myob...don't want to be the 'crazy ex' don't act like one...move on...completely, unequivocally...there are plenty of other fish in the sea, and higher quality ones, too...
2007-01-20 16:11:28 · answer #11 · answered by kewtber 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋