my boyfriend and i are fairly serious i moved in with him about a month ago...tonight it came to my attention that he very recently opened an account on a singles website...should i be worried, confront him about it, why would he do this?
2007-01-20 15:47:54 · 8 answers · asked by perfectlyimperfect217 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How did that come to your attention? Did someone accuse him to you? Did you accidentally stumble across something? Or were you secretly looking for this, because trust is already an issue in your relationship? (That isn't an accusation, I'm just trying to get you to consider all angles.)
Does the singles website mean a local matchmaker's website? Or is this a porn thing?
Either way, you're having to ask the question because this isn't consistent with the type of relationship you thought you had committed to.
I wouldn't confront him - if he's guilty, he will either lie or get resentful towards you. If he's not guilty, then it will become a trust factor. HOWEVER, I'm not suggesting you just muddle around in the dark or overlook this thing either. It sounds like the both of you need to sit down and honestly find out where you are going. It should be perfectly alright to ask him what his expectations are - where he wants this new living arrangement to take the two of you, and where he sees you both a year or two years from now. (If you didn't have that conversation before you moved in together, you definitely need to have it now.)
If his long-term goals/commitment/plans don't line up with yours, then it may be time to switch roommates or move back home. And if he really is searching on a singles website, then it sounds like he's not looking for the long haul here........IF he's really guilty.
Wishing you all the best -
2007-01-20 15:59:30 · answer #1 · answered by CassandraM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, if you two decided to move in together, he shouldn't be doing that. It would be different if it was just like, a chat site, or a forum, but if it's a real "singles" thing, yes, it is wrong. Don't confront him angrily, though. I used to do that to my husband all the time when we first got together, and it gets you nowhere. You have a right to be furious, but approach him calmly and see if there isn't any other reason for his actions.
I would always give him the benefit of the doubt, for both of your sanities, cause there's nothing more painful than waiting to confront somebody who you think is hurting you. However, be prepared for the worst, and come up with a plan for both scenarios, whether he is looking to cheat or not. And don't buy into lame excuses. If it's believable, fine, if it's typical, then just be glad you've only been living with him a month, and cut your losses. Good luck.
2007-01-20 23:55:35 · answer #2 · answered by fuumaxkamui69 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN GIRL!!!!! If you are supposed to be fairly serious and are living together but he has an account on a single's site, girlfriend he will cheat on you every chance he gets and you deserve so much better than this creep! You are so worth a good, loving and honest man. Leave now, and don't look back.
2007-01-20 23:58:24 · answer #3 · answered by auntdindy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Opening an account on a singles website is a clear indication that you were a little hasty in moving in with him. Start looking for another apartment and move out.
2007-01-20 23:57:42 · answer #4 · answered by cartiphilus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be slightly concerned... after all, what reason would he have to open this account? My only explanation is that maybe he has a friend online that he wants to talk/message to, but can't access her page without being a member (like Facebook)? But that's a very far-fetched guess, and probably not true. I'd confront him about it in the least accusatory manner possible, and see what he says. If he opened it to find someone, be VERY concerned. After all, I would consider that to be emotional cheating...
2007-01-20 23:54:06 · answer #5 · answered by emmabee2203 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's LIVING WITH YOU and opened a dating account? Of course you should be worried! Are you nuts? Dump his cheating butt. Stand Up FOR YOURSELF!
2007-01-20 23:54:21 · answer #6 · answered by sharons 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he opened it after you moved in with him, he isn't serious about you so dump him before he dumps you!!
2007-01-20 23:53:27 · answer #7 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should ask him about it
2007-01-20 23:55:51 · answer #8 · answered by clock 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋