My son is 17 and he doesn't exactly know what he wanna be in the future..Shall I influence him ?

Answer 1

When you say "influence" him, that could mean something to me completely different than what you really mean.

If you mean to influence him in trying to *tell* him what he should do, definitely no.

If you mean to influence him by helping him discover his strengths and talents, then yes, that's always a good thing to encourage those things in kids.

The bottom line is he needs to discover it in his own time, you can't force it to happen. 17 is awfully young and I didn't know what I wanted to be until I was 25. I knew the direction I wanted to take, but not what I actually wanted to be. Most people I know have no clue what they really want to do (besides the fantasies of being a famous musician or actor) until their mid 20s at least. Just be patient with him.

Answer 2

You don't realize it, but you are already influencing him with your life, job, etc. Kids watch their parents, and they see how happy or upset you are with your job, life, marriage and so on. If you come home from work every day in a bad mood and gripe about your job, more than likely, your son will not want to do anything close to what you do. It works the other way also. One way to influence him without really choosing for him is to set boundaries for when he is 18. My dad told me that I could live with them IF I was a full time student. If I decided not to go to college, then I could get a job, but I wasn't going to live with them. I chose the military because I didn't want to go to college, and I've been loving every minute of it since then. It would make me the proudest dad in the world if my kids saw how much I enjoyed the Marine Corps and followed my footsteps and joined also. However, if they choose not to, then I will support them 100% in whatever they do choose.

Answer 3

Of course you should influence him. If he is telling you he doesn't know what he wants to do then he is asking for and seeking guidance and direction.

I know I am going to go through this with my teenage kids too next year as they wonder how any kid at 16/17 or even 18 can really know what career they want to undertake. Especially given that they have no experience or often even exposure. It is a big ask.

Just consider his likes and dislikes and direct him in that direction. Kids often need direction, giving them none and expecting them to work it out themselves when they are telling you they dont know can often be counterproductive.

At the end of the day generally mothers often do know best!

Answer 4

I'm a mom of twins also and both my girls just graduated college this summer. All through high school I did push a bit to get them to try out different clubs and groups and activities. This helped them to see where their strengths were.
Most important, I told them in 8th grade that there was no option or discussion about college. They were going...period! So they took all the college prep with distinction and graduated with honors. (sorry I'm a proud mom)
They both ended up with History Degree's.
Life changes things and when your son gets to college he will find different things that will attract his attention and classes that he will love and often those are the most powerful pulls in a young person's life. I started pushing mine when they were younger and with no regrets. A child who is allowed to control his own life will end up lazy. None of them really WANT to do anything but live off of mom and dad.
Encourage him to work part time. They have programs at school that allow the kids to take classes and work....they have to have good grades though. Talk with one of the counselors at school. You should go to the school and let him know that you are willing to participate in his life choices and help him along the way. It's important that he knows you have his back and that you are interested in his future. This will motivate him...its more important than you realize.

Answer 5

be a good listener, and give advice. Look over the newspaper employment ads to see what jobs are available in the world. Some people complete college but didn't take something that would get them a job. [I know of 2 who took medical administration, and 1 who took history, and no job]. There is a great need for nurses and they make a good paycheck. Accountants are needed also.

Answer 6

I say yes, because of my own experience. My mom said I'll send you cosmetology school, sounded like lame career to me at the time. I said ok for now till I figure out what would be best for me.
As I progressed in my profession, I got pretty good at the hair business. It turned out to be a great decision on my moms part.

Keep in mind what career would make him happy and give him a nudge in the right direction.

Answer 7

You can guide him but this is something that he needs to figure out on his own. Have him go to a guidance counselor and take a career interest test to see where his strengths are. Make sure that you make it clear to him that when he graduates he is going to have to have some kind of a plan and that he is not going to end up on your couch. This may get him thinking about some options, good luck!

Answer 8

I'm 18 and my mom didn't have her hand in my choices of a career. She knows it will change about 10 times while I'm college anyway. I found what I want to do later on in life by looking at people in my work. Encourage him to go on a hunt but don't tell him what to do because if he does take your advice he may do something he hates and resent you for the rest of his life. (I know kinda drastic but it's true!)

Answer 9

As a parent part of your responsibility is guidance. So yeah talk to him about his interests, strengths, and abilities. 17 is young but definitely time to start thinking about the future.

Answer 10

I wouldn't influence him...but I would help him explore his options. I mean, if you see that he has certain talents or interests, you might help him see what kinds of jobs best make use of those talents or interests. There are some exercises in the 'What Color Is your Parachutte?' book that might help him get some ideas of what he wants to do.