What do guys look for in a girl?
I'm asking because I am the complete opposite. You know, a Conservative, a Nerd, Sometimes will Swear (It is in my roots), Can't Show My Feelings, Can Be Cold at times, Manipulative Occasionally, Tend to Say Some things that Tick him off because we share very different opinions...
And he is Sensitive, Liberal, Compassionate, Caring, Outgoing, likes to Write Stories; in his blood he is meant to be a Social Worker...
See? Complete Opposites... Will he find me Personality Repulsive, (I'm Not Ugly So He Won't Find That Repulsive)
2007-01-20 15:34:18 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey girl, this is your Coach speaking...
you haven't painted a very positive picture of yourself and so I don't think you will find your Dream Man until you can 'reframe' what you see as your significant characteristics in a much more positive and esteem-enhancing way:
--if you share very different opinions, do his opinions tick you off? If not, I would say that you are probably more liberal than you might think...
--you say you can't show your feelings? You have a pretty good 'feelings vocabulary' or EQ, so I would think that you just need to develop some trust in yourself and the person you want to be with
--'cold' and 'manipulative' sound like scathing indictments that while they might be honestly stated, could also be the residue of someone else's unkind assessment of you-- honey, we each could describe ourselves as being cold at times and sometimes manipulating.... don't saddle yourself with these particular labels
--Take what you want from this diatrible and throw away what you don't want.... if he is a real compassionate social worker type (and I was a social worker), he will probably love you for who you are, if you can get around the negativism and find out who you REALLY are and open all your unopened gifts!
God bless!
2007-01-20 15:45:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm, I went out with a guy who was my complete opposite for three and a half years. I would have to say that he was the love of my life. We were very obsessed with each other and learnt alot from each other, but in the end we were TOO opposite and too inflexible to accept our differences. I found him too cold - I wanted empathy when I was sick and weak - and he found me too chaotic and emotional. I am artistic, patient, passionate, outgoing and liberal. He is organised, reserved, intelligent - he is an economics engineer and he is conservative. Polar opposites!!
But I have never forgotten him - it was an intense relationship, and even now I sometimes think that if I were more mature, I would have remained in a wonderful relationship.
Now I have learned to be more tolerant. I am only intolerant of intolerance.
If you love each other, and have great chemistry and are flexible enough to accept your vast differences, then best of luck to you!! Opposites really do attract and can make a great team.
2007-01-20 15:43:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've known couples who are "opposites"... they kind of balance each other out (e.g., the flightly person is grounded by the practical person, the practical person learns to fly a little).
I will say that in a good relationship, the other person will need to feel emotionally safe with you/be treated well/respected tenderly if they are vulnerable with you.
Everyone will have different opinions, etc. Why are you both passionate about your different opinions? Try to understand where the other person's coming from. Just be honest, be open/vulnerable with him, so he knows the human being (not the defense mechanisms). Your root values (how you treat another person) do need to mesh.
2007-01-20 15:47:21 · answer #3 · answered by joie_du_cor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I are polar opposites and it has worked for 36 years. The only time it is a problem is when we both want the other to do something that the other does not particularly enjoy... best example is on vacation... she wants to shop and I want to play golf... We shop in the morning and she rides with me in the cart while I play golf or vica versa.... but even that we get worked out so it works.... BUT i think men and women a polar opposites by nature.
2007-01-20 15:40:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He might like you because he likes to be there for people and look after them. Not that you need looking after, but maybe. Sometimes opposites fit really well (kinda like a puzzle piece) and sometimes they don't fit. Or maybe because he's careing and sensitive having someone who doesn't really show feelings could be a relief to him. I like the second idea alot better.
2007-01-20 15:40:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I actually think relationships work better like this...like someone quiet with a loud person, a listener with a speaker, etc. Just remember that love overcomes everything, so just try it out. Life's too short to question things.
2007-01-20 15:43:35 · answer #6 · answered by sportfan24 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Opposites balance each other out. You guys will constantly learn from each other.
2007-01-21 11:40:14 · answer #7 · answered by Femme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of a puzzle. None of the pieces are the same.
2007-01-20 15:37:52 · answer #8 · answered by Tif 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no of course not! opposites attract sometimes and bring out traits in each other
2007-01-20 15:36:49 · answer #9 · answered by lalalua 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will find you totally irresistible. They always want what they can't control.
2007-01-20 15:38:41 · answer #10 · answered by cair1of5 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋