Here we go..... ;-)
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named
"Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they
name him "Juan." Year's later; Juan sends a picture of
himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture,
she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a
picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins!
If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most
of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses
on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather
frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)....
A supercalloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Do YOU have any (clean) funnies to share?
xx
2007-01-20 14:47:35 · 12 answers · asked by lookn2cjc 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Boom:
LOL Thanks for sharing those! Very funny!!! ;-))
2007-01-20 15:01:48 · update #1
Smarty pants:
Very cute, indeed!
xx
2007-01-20 15:20:28 · update #2
Bill:
~SMILES~
2007-01-20 15:23:04 · update #3
What do you call it when the priest gets his sermon messed up?
MASS confusion.
Why may we not date nuns?
It would be a bad habit.
I know you liked these two jokes, so I close by saying Sanctuary Much.
2007-01-20 15:39:15 · answer #1 · answered by Bob T 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok...Q. Why did the turtle cross the street?
A. To get to the SHELL station!! HA HA!!
Ok. Stop begging for more. Here ya go...
An elephant and rhino were walking in the jungle. They're just walking and talking, when alla sudden, the elephant sees this turtle on the side of the road. He says "Excuse me Mr. Rhino, while I take c/o some business." The elephant proceeded to walk over to the turtle, and give it a hard, swift kick which sent the turtle flying. The elephant returned to the rhino and the rhino asked him what that was about. Elephant says "That turtle bit my trunk 45 years ago." Rhino says "My, Mr. Elephant. You DO have a long memory." To which the elephant replied, "Yep...turtle recall."
HA HA!! Get it?? "Turtle" recall? Huh??!
2007-01-20 22:54:51 · answer #2 · answered by megamillions1m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those were awful.
Ok, here's a clean joke.
Three guys are at a resturant with their girls.
The first guy being slick looks at his girl and says, hey sugar, pass the sugar. So she giggles and she passess the sugar.
The second, not wanting to be out done looks at his girl and says, hey honey, pass the honey. So she giggles and she passess the honey.
The third guy, never being that great with women, wanted to show his girl he could do just as good, so he quickly looks around the table and says, hey, pass the tea, bag.
2007-01-20 22:58:21 · answer #3 · answered by fifimsp1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Great, here is one for you, and anyone else.
Moses, Jesus, and another guy were out playing golf one day.
Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. It landed in the
fairway but rolled directly toward a water trap. Quickly Moses raised
his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound.
Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one directly
toward the same water trap. It landed directly in the center of the pond
and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the
pond and chipped it up onto the green.
The third guy got up and sort of randomly whacked the ball. It headed
out over the fence and into on-coming traffic on a nearby street. It
bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree. From there it bounced onto
the roof of a nearby shack and rolled down into the gutter, down the
downspout, out onto the fairway and right toward the same pond. On the
way to the pond, it hit a little stone and bounced out o ver the water,
onto a lily pad where it rested quietly. Suddenly, a very large bullfrog
jumped up on the lily pad and snatched the ball into his mouth. Just
then, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the frog and flew away. As they
pass over the green, the frog squealed with fright and dropped the ball,
which bounced right into the hole for a beautiful hole in one.
Moses turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing with your Dad.
2007-01-20 23:17:23 · answer #4 · answered by BJ 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Q. Why did Washington cross the Delaware?
A. To get to the other side.
Q. Why does California have so many earthquakes?
A. It's all San Andrea's fault.
Did you hear about the retarded terrorists who crashed a blimp into Mount Rushmore?
2007-01-20 23:00:18 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. Bodhisattva 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Indeed I do!
A pastor was giving an object lesson in his sermon....
He held up a glass of liquor, in the bottom was a worm... dead.
He held up a glass filled with cigarette butts and another worm..dead.
He held up a glass filled with chocolates, and another worm... dead.
He held up a glass of water... worm moving ... alive.
He asked the congregation: What do we learn from this example?
A man stood near the rear and said: If I drink liquor, smoke cigarettes, and eat chocolate... I won't get worms!
Sorry... I thought it was funny.... (smiles sheepishly)
2007-01-20 22:51:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Giggles.
2007-01-20 22:51:44 · answer #7 · answered by Voodoid 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol the last one was good..
I have one too:
this isnt a joke tho..its from an answerer here. ^^
Question: Have you ever seen a demon?
Answerer: Son, I was engaged to one.
:P
2007-01-20 22:51:25 · answer #8 · answered by Antares 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
they pass yep:),now let me think?????? i looked through a keyhole once,you never guess what i saw,i never seen a flamin thing,the key was in the door,be good:)
2007-01-20 22:57:10 · answer #9 · answered by TOM 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I liked the second one.
The first could not be true if they were not identical.
2007-01-20 22:53:38 · answer #10 · answered by Deb 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋