how do i help her, i think she is going 2kill herself and soon?

Question

i have a 14 year old grand daughter who recently has gotten out of an abusive situation with her parents, if anything is raised above her head get gets on the ground and curls up in a little ball and begs not to be hit, she halusinates and its getting VERY dangerous, she is known for cutting herself(i dont think she is doing that anymore) but if anyone yells she gets this look on her face and its like she has just seen a ghost, she is very quiet. she has friends but when she lived in utah(moved to arizona to live with her grandfather and i) she had no friends, had been raising her little brother since he was born when she was 11, she was constantly being beaten at school, she writes in a journal and she had been writing in and one day i was putting some of her cothes in her room and she had left the journal on her bed and it was wide open,she had been going to a therapist but refuses to speak to her, and they told us to just look at what ever she writes every so often,so i did and.....

so then i looked at the history on her computer she had a list OF 101 WAYS TO KILL YOUR SELF. i cant get her to speak to her teropist, the shawmens, and when i ask her about it she says it is nothing and today she told us she was pregnant(please dont comment on this that is a different subject)should i have her put in a mental hospital?

the journal entry, she was talking about how she wish she would sleep and not wake up and had a list of haw to do tat, so i took all the pills and put them in my bath room (which is always locked) she could talk to her boyfriend but he is so far away, we r in arizona and he is in michigan.

i dont no but u mite have seen some of her questions her name is Koi

the depression thing started after her uncle raped her last yer, she wont talk to anyone about that either

if u wanna e-mail her, her e-mail address is [e-mail]

Answer 1

I honestly think you need to put her in some form of medical care so that she is in a safe place and not be able to hurt herself and also will get the help she needs. It is better to be safe and do that even if she doesnt want to or gets angry at you for it than for you to not and be sorry. Good luck, My thoughts and prayers are with you

Answer 2

Absolutely 1000% she should be in a mental institution. I would not hesitate. My mother commited suicide after years of fighting chronic depression from a traumatic situation that happened to her when she was young (i don't know what it was).
There are professionals in an Institution that will be more capable to help her when she is on the inside. When she is in an outpatient situation, they cannot control her actions at home. Time is of the essence. You cannot wait or 'think about it'. You have to act immediately.
I can tell you from expierence that if someone is talking about it out loud, then they are trying to get attention. Since she is looking on websites and being very evasive, I would be scared.
Don't get me wrong, she will not accept help willingly, but it is worth her being upset initially. Don't wait. I wish I would have been more pushy with my Mom. Maybe she would still be here.

Oh, and make sure that you stay on top of the Doctor's care with her. There are some very caring and serious professionals out there, but in this field you can get burnt out very easily. Make sure they are taking her seriously.

Answer 3

Oh how very sad for her and for you! You must be heart sick.

If her therapist isn't working out , then find her another one and keep trying to find one who she can relate to, not all people related to traditional talk therapy. She may need a woman therapist and someone who seems closer to her age.

Get her a pregnancy test asap and then talk to her about how she must be there for her unborn child. That she must take care of both herself and the baby and she'll have someone to live for.

If there's a program for unwed mothers anywhere get her involved, so that she can learn parenting skills and not repeat what's happened to her with her baby.

She may decide not to keep the baby and if not encourage her to put it up for adoption and she can perhaps help find the parents she'd like to adopt her baby.

This is going to be really hard for both of you, but Gramma you have two lives in your hands, help her realize that not everyone will treat her as she's been treated.

God bless you and her.

Answer 4

If she won't talk, and she has put such a blatant suicide threat, I think that you need to take her to the nearest hospital to be put on suicide watch. They can hold her for up to 48 hours while they ascertain whether or not she is a suicide risk. Perhaps try going to your neraest emergency room, and they can tell you where the nearest facility is.

If not that, than you need to set up your own suicide watch, and be sure that she is not alone. Also, try getting her a new therapist, clearly she does not trust this therapist, and it doesn't seem like she is going to anytime soon.

Also, right now, go and speak to her about what you saw in her journal. Assure her that you did not intentionally seek it out, but saw it open. Tell her that you were wrong to look, but that you need to discuss with her what you saw. Discussing threats like this will not tip someone over into doing it. Let her know that you know she has been in a horrible situation and is in a lot of pain, but now that she is out of it, she can begin to heal, and in the future, there will be joy and healing for her.

Answer 5

God bless you and your husband. Too often children from abusive households are considered damaged and their families don't want to deal with the problem. I applaude you for trying to take a pro active role in the lives of your grandchildren. Do not give up. Continue with all your efforts, and watch her closely. She has suffered a great deal in her young life. She sounds like she needs you. I will email her.

Answer 6

This sounds very serious. I think you should take her to a mental health crisis center as soon as possible - as in, turn off your pc and take poor little girl to a major medical center for an E/R psych evaluation immediately.

Answer 7

Oh My Goodness..... I will pray for your and your grand daughter............ this makes me sick. God bless you and her and please, give her lots of love and hugs and re assurance. Let her know that you are there for her, just sit with her and give her your time and your heart. Dont force her, just let her know you are there for her with out words. Is she interested in anything??? Horses, cats dogs, art, clothes..... find a common interest and share with her. Pull out pictures of you when you were a child and have her help you make a scrape book...... does she like to cook? Have her help you make some cookies to give to the neighbor, get her involved in giving so she feels self worth. I sure wish I could help you reach her. Good luck and God bless!! (get her some professional help)

Answer 8

If you don't want to lose her, you need to take action QUICK!!!! Self-mutilation often turns into more destructive behavior. This situation is way beyond your control. She needs professional help. Take her to an emergency room PRONTO. They cannot send her home if she is suicidal. It sounds like she needs intensive therapy and probably anti-depressants. It sounds like you love her a lot. PLEASE take action before she takes her life! She'll be angry with you at first, but when she gets straightened out, she'll understand you loved her enough to save her.

Answer 9

I feel she needs to be shown she is loved my her family. Hugs, talking, or simply hanging out. take her out to eat. Spend time. Most people don't do that any more. Seems theres no real home life with her moving around. Be her support. She needs direction and lots of love. Don't try to change her but to understand her. Show her stability.

Answer 10

there is a national holine that helps teens and parents (or grandparents) with any problems they might have. they specialize with teens who want to kill or hurt them selves. You cannot find good advice on YA, but give this number a try.