OK i am still having trouble with my kids..they are 11 13 & 14.. These boys just cant get along. They dont have physical fights just argue all the time. It is driving me crazy, no matter what i do, or how i try to handle it it wont stop. I would like to have an opinion from someone that has a similar situation. Its so easy to say "punish them" make them work together and they will learn to get along" its so hard, they have been generally good boys but this age with the three of them is becoming too much. Is there anyone out there that has 3 boys around this age? It is not as simple as you might think...i have had friends with no kids..or with daughters that have thought they could handle it but i am telling you..its just not easy.
PLEASE HELP!
2007-01-20 13:38:08 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If there is anyone that thinks they are in this same situation and would like to chat please leave e-mail address..i really need support here. And by the way i am married to their father..normal family. Married 17 years ago. he is here everyday and a good father/husband but i think i need the suppost of another mopther with the same problems.
Thanks again
2007-01-20 13:47:26 · update #1
sorry for the typos there..it would not let me edit it ...ugh
2007-01-20 13:51:35 · update #2
i bet you're divorced. the kids drove you nuts and you thought it was easier to get rid of the father... am i right?
2007-01-20 13:42:13 · answer #1 · answered by edna b 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't have kids your age but I am close in the age range with my brothers. When we acted like that my parents made us sit on the couch and hold hands until we agreed to get along. We weren't physically fighting either, just being brats for the most part. There is alot of testosterone flying around your house, get a noise machine (like at the spa), go to your room and shut the door. They are old enough to work it out themselves.
2007-01-20 21:44:20 · answer #2 · answered by luvmycrafties 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister and I would always argue and have physical fights. it started when I turned 14 and she was 18. it went on for a year. so we would punch each other really hard. obviously she would always win. but then I became stronger for some crazy reason so I would take her down and she would take me down. wow! how crazy hu? I was always know as the one who would always start the fight and never shut-up. sometimes it would be true. it became worse because my mom would yell at me. (I guess they saw me as the mean girl) it became worse for me. My sister and I would always argue with my mom. I hated it so bad! I wanted to move. (all of use became crazy lol)
my mom wouldn’t want to stay home because we wouldn’t get along. but God answer are prayers and now my sister and I don’t fight we only argue. ones in a wile we will argue. But I know for sure my mom loves both of her daughters.
Long long story I tired making it short. I bet its hard being a parent. I’m sorry for the trouble I really am.
Good luck. Sometimes punishing your children just makes things worse.
im only 15 =D
2007-01-20 21:58:27 · answer #3 · answered by Female 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This always happens around that age. You really have to be patient and make sure youre keeping them in line. Do not get too emotional when they fight. Also, take away the things they like. Games, snacks, play time, etc can be useful in managing boys that fight. Also, try to have more family time, and reward them anytime you see them actually try to talk things out.
2007-01-20 21:45:08 · answer #4 · answered by helplessromatic2000 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tough question. I'm assuming the father's not around if their at each other like that.
It's not uncommon for boy's to test each other. Competition for attention, and the age they are, play a big factor in why they can't get along.
Try setting a standard of rights. The oldest boy should take on the responsibility of being the lead decision maker in disputes among the other two and himself. The oldest boy should be setting a standard of behavior that is peaceful.
the younger ones will follow in his example. He should have little to no tolerance of the bickering and fighting. No matter how difficult he thinks this task of being the leader is, he needs to do it and take control and responsibility for his siblings. He also needs to be punished more when he fails in leadership as an example to the others. This will also help him earn the respect of his younger brothers which is important to maintain his authority with them. But ultimate authority falls to you. The eldest should be acting on behalf of the younger ones in disputes to learn diplomacy and obedience to your wishes.
Take your eldest aside and have a privet discussion with him. Let him know that as he enters manhood he needs to set the standard of behavior for his brothers. Even if it means punishing him for something the others did. He needs to prepare himself for that, and take it like a man. When the younger ones see the punishment the elder has to endure because of their behavior they will eventually out of respect for their brother learn to be more diplomatic and caring towards each another. With more responsibility should also come more rewards. You should instill virtues of honesty, respect and love in your eldest son, and expect the others to follow.
Learning stillness, and how to be at peace with their surroundings is important. There should be time set aside each day for them to seek their inner being and quiet their minds and souls. Teach them how to meditate and learn the value of peace of mind, peace of their environment, and the befits it has on their ability to make proper decisions in life.
I know it's difficult but do your best to make it fun. I hope this was helpful, Good luck
2007-01-20 22:16:26 · answer #5 · answered by wernerslave 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I thought that it was just me going through this.I would love to talk more I am a stay at home mom of two boys and I feel like pulling my hair out every day my email address is nilda14@verizon.net.good luck if you get them to stop let me know what you did.
2007-01-20 22:21:41 · answer #6 · answered by shorty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, sometimes you may have to let them fight their own battles, they are trying to figure life out. they are very close to age too, so may have some compitition going on. see if you can get them into seperate hobbies, bowling for one, art, ceramics, stamp collecting, see what they are interested in as individuals.
2007-01-20 21:43:24 · answer #7 · answered by Grandma of six 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know how you feel i have three sons. there is nothing you can do, even for my sons *triplets* four-year-olds
~Liam
~Noah
~Seth
2007-01-20 21:42:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
may ur soul rest in peace !!! amen..
2007-01-20 21:42:06 · answer #9 · answered by bronson 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋