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Has being an outgoing, nice person with personality and spontaniety become boring?
Yes, I am basing this on past experiences. I go on one date with a woman and that's usually it. They seem interested, I act myself, but havent' dated anyone consistently for a few years now.

Ladies, what is it you want? Seriously? Im 26....am I supposed to compromise my dignity to become that Italian asshole you dream of? What's missing here?

None of you know me, so don't say it's my attitude. Thanks. It's late and im aggrevated my love life is going about as good as the general climate of this country under Bush. And that's pretty bad in of itself . Now the thing is.......I'm basing what im saying on 50 percent what im seeing too. Because everytime I tell myself, I am fine with who I am, I see couples EVERYWHERE. There's some blond girl with a guy with a piercing. Am I missing something?
Why are women saying im "awesome" but f*cking other men?

Oh, and one other thing? Don't judge me because im frustrated my love life sucks and I feel like everyone else is succeeding in their own and enjoying life. And don't play therapist and speak to me in a patronizing condescending manner.

Please answer me about my one and done dates.

1) You know they're common right? They don't reflect who I am as a person

2) Was I being humored by those girls? Why did they seem interested, why can't they be honest? Am I too much of a "good guy" to hurt?

3) How do other people deal with it.


Also, I come off very intelligent, sociable, friendly and not frustrated on the dates. So tell me how this comes off?

2007-01-20 13:19:18 · 5 answers · asked by heymanchase 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

5 answers

Bro, many guys are going through what you are going through (and don't feel bad; on the bright side, you arn't 39 years old, divorced, and paying ailmony!). But in response to your question, I can only offer my opinion. Hopefully they seem reasonable to you.

1) The guys who treat women like property, who I just call "Macho Boys," hold preferential treatment because they are what "negative Challenges" They have the ability to say no unlike Wimpus Americanus and chumps. Basically, they don't give in to the woman, and their initial domineering qualities come off as Confidence. However, they won't last forever because a woman who wants her independence will not put up with a guy who will control her like a dictator.

2) When you first meet a woman, one thing dictates if you have a chance or not. And that is her Interest Level (51%+, you got a chance). Since you are going on first dates with these ladies, it means that you are passing their Physical Attraction Tests... and they have at least 51% Interest Level in you but on the other hand they can be Professional Daters as you suggested that they humor you for a free meal or they are not trying to hurt your feelings (which I say is just as bad because they lack Integrity and Moral Courage). They either dig you or they don't... so the fact you have plenty of first dates mean that they generally dig you in the beginning.

But then next, they look at 3 male qualities: 1) Confidence, comprised of Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem (which you have probably so good), 2) Control (self-control, not control over women), which is comprised of Patience, Discipline, and Self-Control (I'll talk about those later), and 3) Challenge which is not always saying yes, being mysterious, holding back, etc. (I'll talk about this later as well.

Chances are, that there are not enough Self-Control and Challenge involved in the first dates to raise the woman's Interest Level in you; it's actually going down so they don't see you again. Women's #1 quelm about men are that they go too fast (women are so used to being chased, they fall for a guy who THEY have to chase). So, ask yourself that in each of these dates: "Am I touchy feely and vouch a lot of information (good and bad) about myself?" and "Are I coming on too strong and also talking about negative and heavy subjects on the dates?"

Being too touchy feely kills Self-Control... you want to be a gentleman and let her do the initiating always (but don't reciprocate). Offering information about yourself kills Challenge. You want to remain mysterious and wonder if you dig her or not. You want to gather all the information about her that you can in the meantime but keep away from subjects like sex, politics, and religion, so let her do the talking with your open ended questions. You want to make her happy and laugh all the time. You want to end the night at a high note so that it keeps her wanting more, which is the essense of Challenge... keeping her wanting to see you again.

2007-01-20 14:08:13 · answer #1 · answered by nerdyjohn 3 · 0 0

Well assholes are fun sometimes, but you can't get serious with one, that's for sure...although some girls are that dumb. I've had a few assholes myself, and was enough to make me want to give up on the male population as a whole, and I did. Then I got dragged on a blind date and fell in love(long story, not my point) Anyway, the one-date thing, speaking from the other side of things, girls for the most part don't want to hurt a guy, so maybe we play it up like we like you more than you do and come on, you've probably done the same thing. Maybe you just haven't met somebody that you really 'click' with. Don't change who you are to be an asshole, Lord knows the world doesn't need anymore of those. I know it's easy to get a bad attitude about love and the like, so no judgments here and I'm doing my damndest to not be condecending but keep trying, moan and groan and do whatever the hell it takes you to get back on the horse and maybe you'll have better luck. oh and PS--girls do NOT like being treated like a possession.

2016-05-24 02:50:29 · answer #2 · answered by Laura 4 · 0 0

They r just using u for your money.

2007-01-20 13:22:40 · answer #3 · answered by fajita 7 · 0 0

It gets them exited!

2007-01-20 13:22:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

.....

2007-01-20 13:25:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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