How do I let my mom know just how serious I am?

Question

I sprained my ankle REALLY badley, and surgery is in my future. Mom won't let me go horseback riding, even when I'm bareback, because she doesn't want to take the chance of my re-injuring myself. I've tried to explain how much I can't live without riding, how much I miss it (Haven't been in a few weeks). She hates people proving she's wrong though, she doesn't get just how much this means to me. I feel like I'm being torn apart from the inside, it really hurts to not be able to ride like before. She say's she'll think about it, and we'll talk in a week. The week comes, and she never even gave it another thought. She seems to think I'll forget it, and let the subject go. She think's this is just a hobby for me, and something not even all that important. I've tried having a conversation with her, but I can never say what I feel. She won't listen if I do. So, do I continue with riding in secret, or do I actually tell her, and risk losing the only connection I have left with riding?

Answer 1

Call your doctor. Ask him if it is okay for you to ride.

Answer 2

I can understand your love of riding and how much you'll miss it. This isn't an issue of your mom being proven wrong, it's her doing what's in your best interest. That's what moms do. Think about this for a minute - suppose she let you go riding and something happened and you made your ankle worse. Sure surgery could probably fix it, but it would be a more complicated surgery, longer recovery period, more pain, etc. Also, there is the possibility you'd never ride again. Are you willing to risk losing it all just because YOU wanted to ride one more time?

You're right in saying she hopes you'll forget. That's another thing moms do. If you ride in secret and something happens, how pissed do you think she's going to be? How pissed would YOU be if someone dissed you like that?

Let's be serious here. I think you can live for a few weeks without riding, insted of losing it all forever. I don't mean to be sarcastic here, but it's time to grow up a bit and do the right thing.

I went back and read some of the other answers, and you can tell who is closer to your age by the advice they give. You're wrong and you know you're wrong. The people that are on your side telling you what you want to hear are wrong as well. They're telling you to go against your mom. Do they even know your mom? Do they know your relationship with your mom? I think not and you ought not listen to them.

Do the right thing, and you know what that is, because some day your kids are pull this s hit and it all comes back to haunt you!! Trust me.

Answer 3

Well, you could ask yourself these questions: Do you want to risk injuring yourself to the point that you will have problems with your ankle, which result in problems walking, for the rest of your life? Or .... do you want to let your ankle heal, have the surgery, and get it fixed, THEN continue riding when you've completely healed, so that you can continue riding, >and< continue living with a healthy ankle?

Answer 4

Hmm...that's a toughy. I see your Mom's point of view. She obviously cares about you. Otherwise she wouldn't tell you not to ride. I think she's just worried that you will fall & hurt yourself again....& this time you could possibly end the dreams of you ever riding again. Mom's are worriers.

I would try writing a letter to her explaining how you feel, most times our feelings are better said when we put it on paper. Explain to her that this is what you want to do...that you promise to take it easy until your ankle is fully-healed. Invite her to go along with you so she's there to watch that your keeping your word.

Hope it all works out for you.

Answer 5

Your mother is looking out for your safety and well-being. You are being a spoilt brat by going behind her back. Come off your "my life is not worth living unless I'm on a horse" complex already and listen to someone who cares about you. If you have a riding accident and re-injure yourself worse, how would you feel if you ended up in a wheelchair and NEVER got to ride again?

Answer 6

I love riding too. I rode right after having major surgery, I had 55 staples down my tummy!!!! I still rode. If you are going to have surg. then she needs to understand that you should ride now because after surgery you will not be able to ride until you are healed.... you should ride now! I dont know how you are to get it through to her, but I do not suggest doing things behind her back, that will ruin her trust in you. She may not like it, but just maybe tell her what you are thinking and try to find a gentle way of putting it to her. Maybe hug her and tell her that you love her but she really needs to listen to what you have to say. Maybe ask if she could put herself in your shoes, just how would she feel. PLEASE... as a mother myself, do not get argumentative and aggressive and disrespectful, but at the same time she needs to respect what is important to you too. Good luck

Answer 7

You need to sit down and make a plan with her. Tell her how passionate you are about riding, then try to come to an agreement about when to return to it. Maybe you need to heal more for her to be comfortable with you riding again. Ask her when she thinks it would be appropriate to go back to it.

Don't play with her trust by doing it in secret. There is a way to work it out.

Answer 8

What did the doctor say? If he said no riding until the injury is healed, then your Mom is right in forbidding you to ride. You aren't going to die if you can't ride for awhile. Grow up and be responsible enough to know what is good for you even when you don't like it. It is a temporary problem. Stop being stubborn, selfish and headstrong. Do what you know is right..

Answer 9

Look. your mom is only doing this because she cares about you. Tell her you guys really need to have a talk. Just be honest and brutal. My mom always met me halfway on things like this. She will probably give you a second chance at riding. If she sees how much it means to you I don't know how any parent could refuse.

Answer 10

Your mother probably knows how much riding is a part of your soul, but you must also know that you are a part of her soul and she is trying to protect you.

My son played football for his high school and injured his knee. My son HATES school and the only thing that got him there was being on the team. He was told not to play for 4-6 weeks due to the severity of his injury and sugery would probably be in his future too.

He was chomping at the bit to go back to FB, and trained on his own so that he could jump right in and play at the first chance. He got to play one game and at the next practice his knee blew out so severely that he needed immediate surgery to replace and rebuild his ligaments in the knee and his meniscus.

His dream was to play football in college, but now he cannot do that because he could not wait the time his knee needed to heal. He has now lost his dream and is extremely depressed and my heart breaks for him and his loss.

Please, please, listen to your mom, and heal. Go out and feed your horse, brush him down, spend time with him, but do what you need to to heal, so you don't end up like my son.

Answer 11

your mom is in control.
you need to present a plan to her that makes 100% sure you
won't get hurt. develop your plan with safety in mind.
maybe there's a brace or something you could wear to protect your ankle.
but anyway you can ride yourself once you are independent so you don't have to give it up for your whole life.
consider earning the money to pay for it yourself to show your mom how important it is to you also.
oops. stop riding in secret. she will find out and it will not be good. you will get punished and your chances of riding will be worse.