What's ethical in this situation?

Question

My 14 yo son was cast in an educational tv pilot summer '06. He filmed the opening & was told he'd be called in Oct for more filming. We didn't hear from them, and he figured great opportunity anyway.

In October, my mom invited our son to Europe with her and his cousins. She has paid 1200 dollars down toward the trip and must pay the balance in April.
Yesterday, we got a call and learned our son was selected for the lead role in that tv pilot. Filming will be in Feb and the pilot will be announced on a nat'l talk show. there will be a world premiere of the pilot, complete with limos and a red carpet, and black tie and 'the media.'
Director says premiere might be 3 days before the Europe trip, but she hasn't been on schedule yet. When mom heard the news, she didn't even congratulate my son, just said my son has an obligation to go w/her to Europe, even if more filming started. My son said he'd hate to miss Europe, but would want to chose the show.
What's right to do?

We called mom to tell her the news about the casting and premiere, telling her that it was a few days before the trip. Her response, probably because of knowing of how not-on-schedule this has been, was, "If they change the date of the premiere, he will not be attending because he has an obligation to be in Europe."

Answer 1

Your Mom needs to stop the control antics and be happy for her grandson and wish him the best! It's his premier! This may be the one break your son needs to launch his dream!

While family is a priority - your Mom should be mature enough to understand and have your son join them as soon as his filming is completed.

She too has an obligation to be a loving grandmother, if she's capable - his obligation is to be there; given she's paid already - but not necessarily on her timeframe.

Congratulations to your son!!

This is a moment he will never forget! Keep it happy for him - sans Granny's drama.

Answer 2

Wow. That is a tough one!
Think about it this way, you're a fourteen year old kid with the chance of a lifetime that most of us dream of. What would you think? What would you want to do? He has made it clear. And, at fourteen, this is all he probably wants and will never forget the chance of a lifetime that slipped through his fingers. Now, that is probably how he is feeling.
Then again, you're a grandmother and had such plans...
Ethically, if he goes, you or your son is obligated to pay the amount she already invested into this to cover her expenses. And, he is obligated (at very least) to explain to your mother why he is not going and how he intends to make it up to her. This probably means so much to her and she probably planned this well in advance. You cannot blame her for her lack of enthusiasm, she had her heart set on spending this time with her grandson and enjoying Europe. Make certain to show appreciation, that is important. We take too much for granted in life and sometimes we don't even send thank you cards for gifts or say thank you at times. She needs to know that she means the world to him but this is a chance of a lifetime. Perhaps to postphone this would be a lot to ask but an alternative to make all happy. Europe will ALWAYS be there. This opportunity may not. And, if your son makes it big, he can purchase all the trips around the world he wants for all of you!
Good luck to you all.

Answer 3

It's sad your mom can't be happy for your son. I can understand it's a disappointment, but can't you reschedule the trip? This is a great opportunity! Grandparents usually aren't too young anymore so to say europe will be there 'always' as another person said, is a bit too much, but it should still be there a few months later... And do I understand correctly it may not even be a problem? ("premiere might be 3 days before the Europe trip") Isn't this a lot of worry then for something that might work out perfectly after all? My response in any of y'all's place would be "ooooh, that's great, let's all cross our fingers that the final schedule remains as is!"

Answer 4

consistent with what you have written, i might say that it is not unethical to keep away from paying taxes if that's strictly criminal. by way of that I propose that there are no longer the different "cut back corners." case in point, i do no longer comprehend that plenty approximately state taxes, yet do you think of that's unethical that maximum companies are included contained in the State of Delaware because of the fact supposedly it rather is the place that's the main suitable place to be included? Now if contained in the path of fending off taxes, they are additionally doing something else it rather is unethical or unlawful, it rather is yet another component altogether. enable me interior attain giving an occasion. If the employer you took the interview with reported, "we've assigned all our earnings in improve of earning it to a wellness facility learn initiating and subsequently we don't pay any taxes in any respect," might you have stumbled on that unethical? So what they did grow to be comparable different than that the proprietors, or companions, get to maintain extra of what they make? And confident, it does look unusual that a employer might inform you approximately their tax accounting innovations contained in the path of an interview, and likewise very unusual which you does no longer a minimum of artwork for them long adequate to pay your own expenses, considering no longer paying expenses is likewise kinda unethical, isn't it?

Answer 5

Let your son do the show. This could turn into a real career. Besides that, though, this is a job. If he films part and then tells them that he can't do the rest, that is not right. What will he learn from that?

Answer 6

If the show is more important than his grandmother, pay her the $1200, stay home and do the show. I doubt either of you will have to worry about any more pesky invitations from grandmama'.
You seem a bit put out that grandmother isn't impressed by your son's accomplishments but it doesn't sound as though you considered her feelings in the matter either. Perhaps she would have taken the news better had it been presented to her with some concern for her trouble and disappointment.

Answer 7

Set up a conference phone call with grandmother, your son and you. This is not an everyday opportunity (the acting role). I suspect grandmother would support her grandson's acting ambitions. I know that I would. I would try to resolve the travel package plan separately (meaning the grandmother should). That can be done.

Answer 8

Can you pay Grandma back for the trip? This is a great oppurtunity for your son (to be in a film), and he should get to do it.
I can see your mom's point, but this is the chance of a lifetime for your son.

Answer 9

Hello, I recommend that you reinburse your mother for the $1200/any additional expenses. I recommend that your son send a nice note explaining his decision and attempt to make plans for a visit at another time. Hope that helps.

Answer 10

I think your mom is being a bit petty. If she continues to be that way, offer to pay what she'd lose if your son doesn't go. That was really rude of her to not congratulate him. It sounds like the film is a great opportunity.