This is a man who grew up in a trailor park (run down) and lived in a trailor full of cats, cat crap, dead cats, **** all over the floor, pee smelling clothes and sheets...anyways, his mother was a total pig and so was he.
The thing is I am with him in his house he bought before me, and I am very clean and the house is always clean, yet when we figt he says I dont clean it and I dont do enough, yet everyone else says this house is always clean and nice.
The scary thing is he beleives what he says, and thinks he is perfect and the one who cleans...he doesnt.
I dont know what to do, I am really fed up with him, its been 3 years and I dont know what to do, I am also a stay home mom so i TAKE care of the kid too.
2007-01-20 12:23:52 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
It sounds like he has some insecurities that stem from his past regarding the way his house looks. However, it gives him no right to attack you and pick on you for your efforts.
Can you try talking to him when you are not in "fight mode" about how you feel when he gets on your case?
2007-01-20 12:33:42 · answer #1 · answered by wendysorangeblossoms 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally feel for you! My husband used to be like that when he drank, my house is clean yet he yell at me for hours abot how messy it is! I have never done anything even remotely wrong reguarding other men but hed go on for hours about all the other men!!{i didnt even know any} i think he is repeating conversation from his past! Is this how he was taught to "argue" with u?This behaviour from the man we love is soooo soul destroying! I put my foot down after three years and just got up one morning and said no more or i am walking, no ifs buts or mabeys.{I thought id be walking,I can tellu!!}Now he doesnt drink,only 1 or 2 lite beers, because this is when he was treating me bad, and its been totally fight free for nearly a year! Its sooo peacefull! My only problem now is that i have shut down if u know what i mean to avoid being hurt, and im finding it hard to switch back on, so anyone out there who is being treated this way, dont let it go on for any longer! Also your child does not need to learn his fathers traits and nows the time to stop it!! Good luck to you, my friend, i hope you learn to fly again soon.
2007-01-20 20:58:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just divorced a NPD and it was the best thing I ever did for myself and my child. He never was going to change. They will cry and do whatever it takes when they think youre going to leave them - thats because they cant stand the thought of losing control. Then after a little while they go right back to normal.
Read up on Narcissistic Personality Disorder. You really have 2 choices - (1) Leave him or (2) Learn to live with him "as is"
Good luck with whatever you choose. My life is a thousand times better and I can BREATHE now!!!!!
2007-01-20 21:07:52 · answer #3 · answered by sierraskyesmom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am the same as Jody, the first answerer. my boyfriend also seems to think everything will get done if no one (meainng himself) does it. he also thinks that just because he takes the trash out after me naggin him for 3 days that he "cleans" the house. When we get into it and he says i never do anythign around the hosue....guess what? I let him see what the hosue would look like if i really stopped doing anything.
also it sounds like he may have psychological scarring from living with his mom. poor kids. anyway- hes a grown man now and needs to realize that **** obviously dont get done by itself and that he really doesnt do what he thinks he does.
when he tells you that its him that did everything- make him name EVERYTHING he did the time and day he did it. then point out to him his biggest mistake. THAT HE DIDNT DO IT!
2007-01-20 21:10:59 · answer #4 · answered by psychoticangel_kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband thinks that laundry magically does it self and folds and put it away , so when ever i get "comments" I stop doing things, I let the house "go" well as much as I can take and I won't do his laundry. But for the most part he rarely says anythings because I am a perfectionist, but they don't realize everything we do.
2007-01-20 20:32:39 · answer #5 · answered by Jody 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i am a wife just like ur husband i have been married for 5 years and i am also a cleen person and my husband is a pig and he said the same thing the house was dirty and nasty but to others they say it is clen and neet i took this abuse for 5 years till i walked out on him my advice to u leave him and take the kids and fight for full cousady.
2007-01-24 04:38:57 · answer #6 · answered by leona p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋