I am a Christian but not a good one in the eyes of the holy rollers. Anyway my daughter has a very good friend, they're 14, she's a real sweet girl & someone who I want my daughter hanging around with except for the fact that her mother insists on over with her. Her mother is nice BUT every other word is Lord this & Jesus that. Now I too am a Christian but I don't think that it's a topic to discuss 24/7. Has anyone got a good idea of how I can nicely tell the mother that I don't like her preaching without insulting her? If I tell her rudely my daughter will surely loose a friend. I have avoided having her over but my daughters friend thinks that she's done something wrong & I don't want to hurt the girls feelings for what her mother does. Does anyone please have any ideas how to handle this in a classy way, I'm sure you've been through this at least once, what did you do?
2007-01-20 12:17:40 · 19 answers · asked by gitsliveon24 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
This is tough. Its a bit odd that the mother insists on coming over with her daughter. She sounds like a bit of a control freak. I guess she is trying to make sure her daughter isnt led astray. I would try to find a way to just have the daughter around. Can you approach the mother and ask? Maybe talk to her about how it will help her daughter grow as a person to have some independence. I wish I had better advice for you.
I understand your dilemna. Its hard when someone has a one track mind, even if its not religion! I have known people that do the same with politics, a home business or hobby. I hope this daughter can develop good social skills despite all of this.
2007-01-20 12:39:19 · answer #1 · answered by sngcanary 5 · 7⤊ 1⤋
I am Christian, too, and I'm sure not a good one in the eyes of the holy rollers - but, I may have a suggestion...
This lady sounds like she thinks she found a fellow christian that would love a mini-Bible study while the girls have time together.
There are only two ways to handle this. First, is when she brings up something to turn the conversation religious - smile, and say, something like "I spend an awful lot of time on my Bible studies -
I'd really like to have some time to talk about other stuff - hey -
did you hear there was another amber alert out today -blah blah blah" - and change the subject. If she doesn't get the point, then do the exact same thing again. She'll get it - she might be disappointed, but she'll get it. And don't feel bad about it either; you can't sit and praise the Lord every second - even God would think that to be excessive. Everything in moderation. The last thing you need is to become a religious phanatic - nobody wants that. If you absolutely can't get through to her, theres one more thing you could do: You could plan things like having you both drop your daughters off at the skate rink and then pick them up in a few hours. Tell her you will be taking care of other family business, but will be on your cell phone should the kids have a problem. Do the same thing at the movie theatre on Saturdays -
you both drop the kids off and go your separate ways.
Good luck
2007-01-20 20:35:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
To the holy rollers the only advice I can possibly give if you have to 'live' with them is just ignore it. If you ask questions they just get all the more excited, if you disagree you risk trouble. I know it sucks but just try your hardest to bear with it, or maybe you can try misdirection tactics. Dont forget alot of christians (not just holy rollers) are right and everyone else is wrong, sometimes no matter what the subject. They are made righteous you are not.
But if you have to keep them around, then ignore their talking, and point out ever so slightly that they dont listen to your opinion anyway
If you didnt mind not seeing them again then a few challenging questions, display some confidence and independance and peacefullness and thats enough to make them run away.
2007-01-20 20:24:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one...
It might be a case of actually sparking up a conversation about religion so that you could lead your way to mentioning your view that religion, to you, is a personal and private thing that you prefer to keep to yourself.
Many people are of the opinion that religion is VERY private and it is VERY inappropriate to discuss as a topic of conversation.
I, myself, am not religious. If anything I'm ANTI-religion but even I know that you NEVER discuss religion or politics if you want to stay out of an argument...
Good luck! It's a very delicate situation...
Good choice asking the atheists... Note; just more preaching from the Christians... They just don't get it, do they?
2007-01-20 20:31:34 · answer #4 · answered by ZZ9 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I have dealt with Christians occupationally for 25 years. My conclusion is that you will not communicate your feelings to the mother without offending her no matter how you do it. Obviously, she either feels very strongly about her faith OR she is very insecure about it and therefore finds the need to constantly talk about it. The roots of religious faith are very deep. In my years of dealing with people, I have found that my own irritation was sometimes borne out of my own questions about my own religious faith. If I know what I REALLY believe, I am not inclined to let those who disagree with me bother me very much. Sounds like your daughter has a good friendship that is worth nurturing. I would learn to smile and be nice to the mother and avoid being in her presence if you can. Sometimes that is the highest form of love. Good luck !
2007-01-20 20:29:34 · answer #5 · answered by Robert A 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unless youre really close friends with the mom, I dont think you have the right to tell her how to treat her child. she will take offense no matter how you put it.
Im sure your daughters friend ignores much of the preaching anyway.
Kids never listen when u preach lol
oh and by the way: she reminded me of a certain desperate housewife :P
2007-01-20 20:27:56 · answer #6 · answered by Antares 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The most polite way I can think of is to tell her your simple truth, just as you have here. Tell her that you're glad that your daughters are friends, but that you're responsible for your daughter's upbringing, religious and otherwise, and that you hope that she can respect that your beliefs are different from hers.
Good luck, and all the best.
2007-01-20 20:25:42 · answer #7 · answered by Let Me Think 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I agree with bettierage here. This woman sounds like she'll take offense in anything you'll say about the subject.
I'm sorry, but probably the only choice you have is accept it, or be simply honest and see what happens.
I would probably just let it pass, and change the subject at any opportunity i can find.
2007-01-20 20:27:01 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
To be honest, if it woud jeopardize the friendship between the girls or cause hurt feelings, I wouldn't say anything at all. Sometimes if you ask a holy roller to back off, they step it up even more anyway. If it were just me involved, and not the feelings of two young girls, I would tell her to get stuffed. But out of respect for their friendship, I would just try to limit my contact as much as possible and tune out her mini-sermons.
2007-01-20 20:23:59 · answer #9 · answered by glitterkittyy 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
I'm not sure if this woman is a religious whack job or not, but it kind of sounds like she is. She could very well take offense at anything you say. Wait, a fourteen year old's mother escorting her to a friend's house? That seems a bit much...
2007-01-20 20:22:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 1⤋